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THE FOOL of Quality, OR, THE HISTORY OF HENRY EARL of Moreland. In FOUR VOLUMES.

By Mr. BROOKE.

DUBLIN: Printed for the AUTOR. By DILLON CHAMBERLAINE, in Dame Street, facing Fownes's Street. MDCCLXV.

TO THE RIGHT RESPECTABLE MY Ancient and well-beloved PATRON THE PUBLIC.

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WHY don't you dedicate to Mr. PIT?

Becauſe, Sir, I would rather ſet forth my own Talents than the Virtues and Praiſes of the beſt Man upon Earth. I love to ſay Things that no One elſe ever thought of, extraordinary, quite out of the common way. I ſcorn to echo the Voice of every Fellow that goes the Road. Whether the Veſſel of the Common-Wealth ſhall ſink or ſwim; what is it to me? I am but a Paſſenger.

[ii] But, then, there is a Manner in doing Things you know.

No, Sir, it is no Buſineſs of mine. Mr. Pit is the Patron of my Patron; let my Patron then dedicate to him, and welcome, dedicate Statutes, Temples, Monuments as laſting as the Benefits conferred! It is nothing to me; neither will I ſay a Syllable more about the matter.

May it pleaſe your Reſpectableneſs,

THOUGH the Dedication is the ſhorteſt Part of a Book, and held by all Readers to be the vileſt and moſt contemptible; yet the Writer and his Patron, the Dedicator and the Dedicatee, have a different way of thinking; the Latter, on account of the Incenſe that it breathes, and the Former, on account of the Profit that it brings, look upon it as the moſt important Part of the Performance.

Alas! how little Conſideration is left, for the Race of Writers, among the Race of Readers, eſpecially on this Chapter of Dedications.

[iii] Your Reſpectableneſs, perhaps, hath not duely perpended the Travail, the Toil, the marvellous Drudgery, the Muck that Dedicators are obliged to paſs through, and the Fences of Truth over which they muſt break, in order to cull, ſelect, and ſublimate an Offering fit to lay upon the Altar of Adulation.

Through what a World of Weeds do they range to gather their little Noſegays; from what a Profuſion of Offences do they extract their Perfumes; and, how many Nights do they watch, to concentre and realize a ſingle Mouthful of Moonſhine for the Gratification of their Partrons.

The Trades alſo, incumbent upon them, are manifold, ſuch as of Painting, Patching, and Plaſtering; of Embroidering, Shaping, and Shaving; and of Tyring, Trimming, and Tayloring; in order to ſmooth and garniſh the Man whom it delighteth them to honour, and to furniſh him with a full Suit of Praiſes.

[iv] But your Reſpectableneſs, I humbly hope, would not wiſh me to be at all this Trouble; for indeed Trouble is a Thing that I do not affect. There is, alſo, a kind of Delicacy requiſite in tickling the Ribs of Vanity. I am at beſt but a downright ſort of a Fellow. And, ſhould I, aukardly preſume to daſh your Merits, full, into the Chops of your Modeſty, I might deſerve but ill at the Hands of your Reſpectableneſs.

My Grandmother, Peace be with her! I remember one thing among the many good Advices, which ſhe gave and I forgot. Never diſgrace yourſelf, quoth ſhe, in order to do Honour to any One breathing. Think not, therefore, my moſt reſpectable Patron, that I will either debaſe myſelf by cajoling you to your Face, or do Violence, to Truth, by any kind of Panegyric when your Back ſhall be turned.

That I have received many Favours from your Greatneſs, and have a competent Senſe of Gratitude for the ſame, is moſt certain. It is alſo true that all my [v]Studies and Labours have been applied for your Service, and that I wiſh no other Death than that of laying down my Life for your Sake. Yet, with all my Love for your Perſon, and Endeavours for your Proſperity, I cannot find about me the ſmalleſt Scantling of Veneration for your Virtues.

You have, however, the Satisfaction to be quite eaſy upon this Score, and no way to be mortified at any Sentiments to your Diſadvantage. Your Fund of good Humour on ſuch Occaſions is inexhauſtible; and you have often joined with me in reproving and ridiculing your own Vices and Follies, which at all times you take more pleaſure to rally, than I apprehend you will at any time take Pains to amend.

I remember that in my Youth I was a great Builder of Caſtles, and, having your Intereſt always at Heart, and ſeldom out of my Head, I employed my Time in forming a thouſand romantic and airy Schemes for your Advantage.

I once propoſed to build your Happineſs on Religion, on Chriſtian Piety, and a [vi]deep Senſe of Duty; but, having in vain ſought a Foundation whereon I might lay the firſt Stone, the Superſtructure vaniſhed like the Clouds of laſt September.

I then attempted to plan the Eſtabliſhment, of your Liberty and Renown, upon the ancient and approved Principles of the SPARTAN POVERTY. As this had been barely a heathen Virtue; as it had raiſed and ſupported that great and glorious People, through many ſucceeding Centuries, in an uninterrupted Enjoyment of Freedom, Power, and Proſperity; and, as nothing appeared to be wanting to the Accompliſhment of this Scheme, ſave a few ſimple Articles, ſuch as Moderation, Content, Self-Denial, and ſo forth, I made no doubt of your embracing the Terms with Joy.

On paying my firſt Viſit, your Reſpectableneſs was juſt come from a Corporation-Cant, where I was told you had ſet your OWN MOTHER up to Sale; but your Dignity was ſo drunk at the Coſt of the Bidders, that I choſe to defer Matters to a more ſober Opportunity.

[vii] On my next Addreſs, I underſtood that the Equipage of your Reſpectableneſs was in waiting; for it is not with you now as in the Days of Queen Beſs. You were haſtening to ſee the Italian Puppet-ſhew. As I advanced to pay my Reſpects, I was dazzled by the Ornaments with which you had glorified your Perſon, All, the Product of foreign Looms and of foreign Labours; your Linen of the Netherlands, your Point of Spain, your Ruffles of Dreſden, with a full Suit in the Cut of France, and trimmed like That of the three Brothers in a Tale of a Tub. In ſhort you were ſo ſatisfied, ſo wrapt, ſo full of your Finery, you could, then, attend to nothing, ſave the Contemplation of Your fair Self.

I ſtill had Patience. I watched my Time. I attended You, late on a Sunday Evening, when I thought you at Leiſure from the Fervour of your Devotions. But, how was I ſtruck of a heap, when your Footman informed me that ſome Noblemen and Ladies, of the moſt faſhionable Diſtinction, had engaged you for the Afternoon, at the GAMING TABLE.

[viii] Soon after, I was appriſed that, what with ſpending your Time and Money, in running to Raree-Shows; in playing four Corners and a Fool; in Drinking, Dreſſing, Drabbing; and in Gormandizing, and Gambling; the Finances of your Reſpectableneſs were conſiderably ſunk. It alſo, came to my Ear that you were hugely fond of COCK-MATCHES, though you kept them as far as poſſible from your own Dunghill; That it was your Cuſtom to Bett on one Side, and then to Bett on t'other Side, and to loſe your Money on all Sides; and that, by theſe and the former Means, your Reſpectableneſs was dipt, ſo up to the Ears, in Debt, it was thought your yearly Income would, in time, barely anſwer the Intereſt of what you owed.

It was now confidently affirmed, may it pleaſe your Reſpectableneſs, that You yourſelf were apprehenſive of being reduced to ſudden Indigence. And I eagerly ſeized this Occaſion of waiting upon You, in order, as I truſted, to reconcile You to your Fate, and, poſſibly, to delight You [ix]with the Proſpect of your approaching Poverty. For I ſighed when I reflected on your intemperate and unbounded Thirſt after Riches, That Death to national Nature, which had proved the mortal Poiſon of Greece and of Rome, and of all People who taſted it, from the Beginning of the World to this preſent good Day.

Being ſhewn to your Apartment, I perceived your Greatneſs ſeated in a moody kind of Attitude. But, having formerly had the Honour of being known to You, I took a Chair without Ceremony; and, chatting with You awhile about the Weather, the News of the Day, and ſuch like ponderous Matters, as ſage Miniſters and ſage Politicians are wont to do. I began to introduce and open the Buſineſs.

Pray, Miſter, ſaid your Dignity (ſomewhat ſhort) have You any particular Buſineſs with me, at this Time? I am come may it pleaſe You, ſaid I, to propoſe a ſpeedy and effectual Method for the Supply of all your Wants. At theſe agreeable Tidings, all the Ears, your Reſpectableneſs had, were pricked up and opened to [x]Audience.—Go on, my Good Friend, diſpatch, in Heaven's Name!

May it pleaſe You, added I, it was the Cuſtom of all the Seers and Sages, of ancient Days, to introduce Truth and Wiſdom under the Covering of Fable; and this Covering was as a Nut-Shell, if your Teeth were able to crack it, you had the Kernel for your Pains. Permit me then, at leaſt to imitate their Manner; for, though the Matter ſhould happen to drop by the Way, the firſt Traveller who takes it up may be bettered thereby.

Once upon a time, for ſo ſays my Story, a Houſholder, with his Family, was caſt on a certain Iſland, where, through a Proceſs of Years, they propagated till they became a little Nation. The Soil was exceeding fertile, but there was neither River nor Spring in all the Land. Nature, however, had provided for this Defect, by a Kind of Fruit; that perfectly allayed the Thirſt; It was bitter to the Taſte, but left an agreeable Flavour in the Mouth, and gave Health, Spirits, and Vigour to the whole Conſtitution; and it was called by a Name [xi]which, in our Language ſignifies as nearly as I can render it THE FRUIT OF ABSTINENCE.

There was, alſo, other Fruits, of a Species wholly the Reverſe of the former; for the Flavour of theſe was extremely delicious; but then they enflamed the Thirſt, enervated the Frame, and were called by a Name that ſignified the FRUIT OF INDULGENCE.

As, almoſt, all People made this latter Fruit a Part of their daily Food; the national Thirſt, in time, became ſo great, that the Liturgy, of their Church, was altogether compoſed of Prayers for Rain. O Jupiter, ſome Water, a little Water, dear Miſter Jupiter, Water, water, water, we pray for nothing but Water! ſink us, plunge us, drown us, overwhelm us with Water!

On the Decline of every Sun, ſeveral Families ſpread out the Fleeces of their Flocks, as alſo their Sheets, and Blankets, for the Receiving and Retaining of the nightly Dew. Others furniſhed themſelves with ſmall Alembicks for diſtilling the [xii]Urine of their Houſhold. Some took a Twelvemonth's Voyage to bring back as much Liquid as they might ſubſiſt on for a few Weeks. And the Geniuſes of the Nation employed themſelves in various Projects, ſuch as the chimical Extraction of Moiſture from Biſcuit and old Fiddles; as alſo the hanging Nets of a peculiar Texture, on Poles of due Elevation, for catching the Clouds.

Your Reſpectableneſs has my Tale.—Can make nothing of it, ſay You?—Suppoſe the Thirſt, of this People, an Emblem of their Avarice, and Wealth to be repreſented by Water, in the Fable.—

In ſhort, may it pleaſe your Dignity, I have brought You (here it is) a Refinement on the Inſtitutions of the great Lycurgus. Could I, like the Legiſlator of Lacedaemon, prevail upon you barely to abridge your Deſires, You would find yourſelf wholely a Stranger to Want. You would thereby acquire the Wealth of Greatneſs, Goodneſs, Gloriouſneſs; that Peace, that Solidity of ſublunary Enjoyment, which can only be found in a voluntary POVERTY.

[xiii] Scarce had I pronounced the laſt fatal Word, when your Reſpectableneſs ſtarted up in a Paſſion. You aſked me if I had not ſeen the Levee of Duns at your Gate, and the Catchpoles that lurked for You at every Corner. You conſigned me, with a very good Will, to the Devil; and deſired that, the next time I preſumed to turn State-Quack, I ſhould not preſcribe Drink to a drowning Man.

As I retired, under the greateſt Dejection of Spirits.—Ho! you cried, honeſt Friend! Mr. what do they call you? come back! You, who ſcatter your Money as faſt as your Words; as profuſe of your Purſe as you are of your Opinions; You who always run a Mile before your Rents, and live upon the Harveſt of the next Year's Sickle; are not You alſo a poor Devil, One of the Diogenical Gentlemen, as very an Emperor of the Tub as myſelf?

Preach up Poverty, with a Pox! firſt get wherewithal to pay your own Debts. The ready Runners! my Boy, the paſſable [xiv]Pictures! the royal Pages! the Sparklers! the Portable! the Potable! Ay marry, this would do, this would fortify your Argument, this would mould me to your Form, and perſuade me to your Faith. It is this, my little Lad, that would ſhut too the Door on all manner of Temptations, and kick the Corruptions, you have ſo often complained of, into the Kennel. Come, caſt me the Nativity of this bright Son of Phaebus, draw me a Scheme for raiſing this Egyptian from the Deep; and You ſhall be my Darling, my Bardling, my hourly Oracle, my Apollo of Delphos, and what not.

Was your Reſpectableneſs, ſaid I, ever told your Fortune? perhaps it might bear ſome Reſemblance to my own. I was a Boy, when the cunning Man, peering earneſtly into my Palm, uttered a Sentence, which I ſhall remember the longeſt Day I have to live. You will always, ſaid he, be getting a Power of Money, and, take my Word, you will never be worth a Groat.

[xv] Indeed, could I have prevailed upon your Reſpectableneſs to be contented with Poverty, I was in Hopes you would have enriched your Monitor for his Pains. But, in truth, I'm a very Aſs at this Buſineſs of getting Money either for You or myſelf; and as for the keeping it, when I have got it, I have, long ſince, given up all thoughts of the Matter. I will, however, do my beſt to add to the Glories, to the Virtues, as I may ſay, of your Reſpectableneſs, in a Manner more acceptable than my preſent Plan has proved.

I am your Dignity's moſt devoted, and wiſh you a mighty good Evening.

HAVING thereafter conſigned my late Scheme to Bakers and Barbers, and to all the vileſt Applications of waſte Paper. I ſat down to ſtudy and provide a Remedy for that feveriſh Kind of Conſumption, under which your Reſpectableneſs apparently laboured during our late Confabulation.

[xvi] I was ſenſible, at the ſame time, that your Diſtemper was common to many other Countries, and that it was no where held to be dangerous, foraſmuch as it only conſiſted of two Articles, the Senſuality of the Body, and the Corruption of the Mind.

I alſo knew that, in former Ages, a great Number of Publicks had been affected with the very Malady that now poſſeſſed your Reſpectableneſs, and yet had lived merrily under it to their dying Day.

I wiſhed, however, to keep that Day at ſome Diſtance from your Greatneſs; and, with long and intenſe Labour, and at the Coſt of many a Candle, during my nightly Lucubrations; I compounded a Medicine of approved and infallible Efficacy, conſiſting, for the Nonce, of a quantum ſufficit of the TEMPERANCE and PATRIOTISM of the primitive Romans.

I knew that the Cure would follow, but how to prevail upon your Reſpectableneſs, to ſwallow the Preſcription, was a ſmall matter of Difficulty that yet remained. [xvii]For, it is a Misfortune peculiar to Thoſe who are bit by Love, Avarice, Ambition, Pride, and ſuch Paſſions, that they deteſt the Thoughts of a Reſtorative, and are ſo enamoured of their Diſtemper they would rather ſee the Devil than Doctor Apollo himſelf at their Door.

I, again, had the Honour of being admitted to an Audience. I called up and exhauſted all the Powers of Oratory on that capital Occaſion. I demonſtrated, to your Reſpectableneſs, that the whole Weight and Elevation of the Roman State reſted, ſimply, on the two Pillars of TEMPERANCE and PATRIOTISM, on which it roſe, encreaſed, and ſtood ſupported through many Ages; till, thoſe Pillars being gradually ſapped, the mighty Structure, with its ſaid Foundation, decay'd, grew ruinous, and fell confounded together. That Temperance is neceſſary to the Strength of a Man, as Patriotiſm is neceſſary to the Strength of a People. That each Roman, thus nerved and powerful apart, was yet ſtrengthened, a hundred thouſand fold, by an inviſible Chord which run from Man to Man and [xviii]united All, as One, in the LOVE OF COUNTRY. That hence ſprung the Helicon of their abundant Inſpiration to Toil, Induſtry, Frugality, Valour, Conqueſt, and Glory. They were ſwallowed, like ſo many Drops, in this Ocean of Patriotiſm. They were loſt to every Care and Senſation of SELF; and were only found where they laboured, fought, bled, or expired for their COUNTRY!

While, warmed and ſomewhat raiſed by the Elevation of my Subject, I thus reaſoned on National-Power, on human-Excellence, on Virtue, on Temperance, on Patriotiſm, and Glory! I ſhall never forget the kind Concern which your Reſpectableneſs expreſſed for me, in the evident Alarm and Compaſſion of your Countenance, as for a Perſon whoſe Fit you feared was approaching.

Being, both of us, more compoſed, your Greatneſs was pleas'd to demand whether this Romance was wholly of my own Invention, or, if I had lately been fiſhing the Well, where Truth was formerly drowned, for an Ens Rationis of ſome ſpeculating [xix]Philoſopher? Where, you cried in the name of Wonder, have you been able to gather together ſuch an old faſhioned Bundlement of Scientific Balderdaſh? You ſhall bring me to the Practice, exactly, at the Period that the Hogs ſhall be brought to feed along with the Herrings; or at the time of the Appearance of the Comet with the three Tails; or on the Week of the four Fridays, ſo long looked for by Aſtrologians.—Here! exclaimed your Reſpectableneſs, who waits? All you, my Printers, Editors, and other Porters who attend at the Gate of the Public! ſhould this Fellow come, any more, with theſe his Preachments of Piety, and Poverty, and Patriotiſm, and Stuff, I command Ye to ſhut my Doors directly in his Face.

May it pleaſe your Reſpectableneſs, I am but a very little Man, and of a very lowly Temper, and yet I could not but be piqued at the Severity of this Treatment. I was, as a trodden Worm, and turned upon your Greatneſs with a Reſentment, that, poſſibly, did not become me.

[xx] May your Dignity, I replied, continue to be bleſſed with Writers duely levelled to the Taſte of the Reader, with the Politicks of Court Hirelings, the Poetry of Laureats, the Divinity of a H—y; with Bawdry from the Fleet, with Fragments from the Kennel of Grubſtreet, with Strumpet Biography with W—upon Grace, with Treatiſes on —, and epiſcopal Eſſays on Spirit.

I truſt that My Patron, in Recompence for a long Life ſpent in his Service, will pardon me the dropping of one Obſervation,—Nay don't look diſguſted,—it is no matter of great Offence, it is nothing more than this, that the Noſe of your Reſpectableneſs hath ever been a ready Handle for the leading of a FOOL, and a FOOL ſhall accordingly attend You on my next Viſit.

PREFACE.

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I Hate Prefaces. I never read them, and why ſhould I write them? They ſtand like Pales about a Park, I always overleap 'em, if I [...] there is any thing, within, worth [...]. But, what can I do? I am likely to lead a fine Life with this Performance, when People begin to quarrel with me, upon reading the firſt Word, of the firſt Page, of my Works.

This Friend, and that Friend, and t'other Friend aſks me, and here ſits Another, who is mighty curious to know, why I entitle my Hero the FOOL OF QUALITY.

Pray, was it not more decent to impute Folly to one Man, than to Mankind, if I found myſelf under the Neceſſity of doing the One or the Other?

Perhaps I call him a Fool, in Complaiſance to a World that will, certainly, honour him with the ſame Title, when they find his Wiſdom of a Size not ſuited to their Own — Why, pray, what is Wiſdom? — Tell me, firſt, what is Folly. I will, then, tell you what is Wiſdom, if I find any Smattering of it in your Definition.

[xxii] I wonder, was there ever an Age of Wiſdom, or a Land of Wiſdom? — Look about You. The World will anſwer for Itſelf. — Does not every Age and Nation grow wiſer and wiſer? And have not all Fathers, from the Flood downward, been accounted, no better than Fools, by their Poſterity? — I wiſh I had not been born for ſome Centuries to come. What a Prodigy of Wiſdom ſhould I then be, in compariſon of what I am, at this Day.

Indeed, I ſhould be glad to be wiſe, if I thought I could get any thing by It — Right, that is all the Uſe that the World makes of It; it is the very End, Purpoſe, Goal, and Buſineſs of all the Wiſdom upon Earth — If a Man has length enough of Senſe to outreach all about him, by a Yard and a Half; He is, by a Yard and Half, wiſer than all his Neighbours.

But, was not Solomon then a Fool to neglect Riches, which he might have had with a Wiſh: and to aſk for Wiſdom, whoſe only Uſe is the obtaining of Riches? Was not this wiſhing to mend a roundabout Road, when a Quarter of an Hour would have carried him, by a ſhort Cut, to the End of his Journey? — I fancy, my dear Friend, it would be no great Matter of additional Burden to take the Folly of Solomon upon your own Shoulders.

[xxiii] For, in caſe he had taken the Riches, how the pox ſhould he keep them, while any neighbouring Power was wiſer than himſelf?

Paris was not five Years younger than Solomon, when he, alſo, might have choſen either Riches or Wiſdom, and yet preferred a pretty Wench to the One and to the Other. I am not ſo young as Paris, by five times five Years, and would, therefore, prefer the One or the Other to the Wench — You then allow that Paris was a Blockhead in the preſent Caſe — Sir, I allow any Man to be ſo, in every Caſe, where he happens to differ in Opinion from myſelf— Why pray, ſage Sir, have You got all the Wiſdom of the World to yourſelf, or what Quantity thereof, think you, may there be upon Earth? — Leſs, by five Scruples, than any Man in judiciary Robes and a full bottom'd Wig, conceives to have fallen to his own Share. — But Folly you take to be multiplied and various — Of two Sorts, quoth an eminent Author, That which belongs to the Writer, and That which belongs to the Reader of theſe Works.

Sir, this is wild Diſcourſe, and very wide from the Purpoſe. Let me tell you the World was never ſo wiſe as now. It is filled with Men of deep Erudition, and [xxiv]Science — True, my Monitor; but are they a jot the wiſer for all their Knowledge?

At the rate that you talk, in the Times of ancient Ignorance, there might have been a competent Modicum of wiſe Folk in the World — poſſible — And, by the ſame Rule, in theſe our enlightened Days of Connoiſſieurſhip and Erudition, nearly, all our Literati may turn out Fools — more than probable — Theſe are Riddles — that might be ſolved — Explain 'em, I beſeech you — Not at preſent. I will tell you a Story and pray liſten. It is worth the hearing.

Fifty and five Pilgrims met, one Evening, at a great Inn, that led to more Roads than there are Points in the Compaſs. They ſupped merrily together, in a large Hall; and found, upon enquiry, that they were, all, bound to the Caſtle of final Repoſe, appointed for the Reception of the Sons of Science. When the Cloth was removed; Gentlemen, quoth the Pilgrim who firſt entered, I rejoice to be joined, by ſo much good Company, on theſe my honourable Travels; and, I am ſtill better pleaſed to have it in my Power to conduct every Man of ye, the ſhorteſt and ſureſt way, to your Journey's End. Here, Gentlemen, here is my Map of infallible Directions, the moſt accurate Extract, that ever was taken, of all Inquiries, Obſervations, [xxv]and Informations for the Nonce. Pardon me, Brother, ſaid the Pilgrim who ſat next, your Map muſt be erroneous by, at leaſt, five Degrees; by five, did I ſay? by ſeven, as I hope to get to my Journey's end. Look here at my Map, and believe your own Eyes. I'll be damned, cried a third Pilgrim, (peering over the Maps of his Neighbours, and taking out his own Parchment) I'll be damned if the Geographers, who deſigned the One or the Other, were any better than Adventurers; They never reached the Place of Deſtination I'll be ſworn. Gentlemen, ſaid a Fourth, with wonderful good Temper, I do not ſwear; but I have, critically, remarked all the Charts produced. There's a blind Beggar, in our Town, who is led by his Dog, and, if he does not arrive, at the Place we are bound to, with better Speed, and greater Certainty, than any of you Three; I give myſelf, do ye ſee, and all my Goods to the Devil, ſave a ſmall Perpetuity, in Remainder, to my Son. That may be, exclaimed a Fifth, but, look ye here, my Friends, here are the Quotations, here are the Authorities. Authorities! quoth a Sixth, a Fiddleſtick for a Hobby! are they unqueſtionable, unaſſailable, like theſe in my Hand? Thus, every Man's Chart, throughout the Fifty and Five, was, like the Hand of the Son of Hagar, againſt the [xxvi]Chart of every Man. Each inſiſted on being accompanied, in his own Way, as a Matter of mere Charity to all the Reſt. They ſet out, the next Morning, on as many different Roads as there were Perſons at Table; and, yet, no One of them ever arrived at the Place propoſed, if any Dependence may be had on thoſe cuſtomary Poſts, whom the World, from Age to Age, has paid for Intelligence.

I don't clearly apprehend the Application of your Story, — If that is not your Fault, it muſt be my Own. It is at leaſt a Dozen of the Twelve Labours to beat any thing into the Head of ſome People. — I will give you the Chance of another Tale.

A certain Prince ſent an Invitation, to two diſtant Perſonages, to come to his Court. He, further, ſent ſuch Directions as could not be miſtaken by any One, living, who was willing to find the Way. And he, further, ſent a written Promiſe, ſigned, and ſealed by the Seal royal, of the moſt happy Accommodations, upon their Arrival.

The One, of the Parties invited, was a purblind Man who, barely, ſaw ſufficient to diſcern his Road. He, accordingly, was fearful of Error. He cautiouſly, held on his Way; and, thereby, reached his Journey's End, the Place of happy Deſtination to which he was appointed.

[xxvii] The other was a Man who had all his Eyes about him; but, he was a Genius, had vaſt Invention, and thought it a Diſparagement to tread in any Path that had been beaten by others. He was for contriving ſhort Cuts, and opening new Diſcoveries. He made Excurſions on all Hands. He grew impatient of the Accommodations, appointed and reſerved for him, at the Court of the Prince. He expected them on his Journey, and ſought for them at every Turn. He found them not. He, therefore, travelled and ſtrayed this way, and that way, in Search of them. This led him, ſtill, further and further from his Road. Till, maimed by Accident, and ſtiff with Age, he grew, equally, aſhamed and unable to return.

— As plain as my Noſe — You can the readier follow — But, talk to me, no more, about the World and its Wiſdom. I deteſt Wiſdom, I avoid it, I would not be bit by it. It is the Tarantula that ſpins a Web, whereby Innocence is entangled. It is a Politician who opens a Gulph for the Swallowing up of a People. It is a Lawyer who diggs a Grave for the Burial of Equity. It is the Science, of Hocus Pocus, that bids Happineſs come and paſs, by the Virtue of Cups and Balls. It is a Syllabub of faſting-Spittle for the Fattening of the Virtuoſi. It is a Robe with a pompous Train. A Wig ſpread to the [xxviii]Rump. A Beard lengthened to the Girdle. It is a Ditch of Puddle, with a hoary Mantle, that will not be moved to Merriment by any Wind that blows. It is an Aſs in a Sumpter-Cloth. An Owl, ſolemnly perched, amidſt ſolemn Ruins, on a ſolemn Night.

Deſcend to me, ſweet Folly! if thou haſt not, as I ſuſpect, been my conſtant Companion. Be, thou, my Siſter, my Playfellow, thou Kitten of the ſolemn Cats of State and Learning. But, no. Thou never wert the Offspring of ſuch ſtupid Progenitors. Thou art ever joyous, ever young, although coeval, in Paradiſe with our firſt Parents, ere, (a Pox upon their Ambition) they wiſhed for the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Pride pretends to ſpurn thee; Science affects to look down upon thee; but they ſigh for thee when no one ſees, they have frowned thee away, and when they ſeek they ſhall not find thee. Come, Folly! for even thy Petulance and little Wickedneſſes become delightful, when thou inciteſt the yeanling Kids and cooing Turtles to Combat. Thou art not captious, thou art not teſty, they laugh at thee, and thou laugheſt with them for Company. The Hours dance before thee, the Graces ſmile in thy Train. Thou art a Companion for Conquerors, a Play-fellow for crowned Heads. But, alas! thou art not reſpected, as heretofore; when the [xxix]Monarch of all Aſia ſent his Ambaſſadors to wait upon thee, they came, with a mighty Train, even from Perſepolis unto Laconia, to ſee thee riding upon Switches, with Ageſilaus and his little Son.

By — my pleaſant Friend, thou almoſt perſuadeſt me to be a Fool, during the Remainder of my Pilgrimage through the Wiſdom of this World. But, is there no ſuch thing as true Wiſdom in Nature? — Sir, I have written a whole Chapter upon the Subject; but it lies a great way on, toward the End of my Book, and you have much Folly to wade through, before you come at it. — Give me a Peep, I beſeech you. — No Sir, you ſhall not anticipate. Do you Want to be in Port, without making any Voyage? — If I muſt win my way to Wiſdom, Inch by Inch, let me ſet out directly. — Here then, begin. And pray, let me have your Remarks, unpremeditated, as you proceed. I will anſwer you, as Whim or Judgment ſhall happen to dictate.

THE FOOL of Quality, OR, THE HISTORY OF HENRY EARL of Moreland.

[]

CHAP. I.

RICHARD the Grandfather of our Hero, was ennobled by James the Firſt. He married a lovely Girl of the ancient Family of the Goodalls in the County of Surry, and, at Seven Years Diſtance had two Sons, Richard and Henry; [32]but dying early, in the Reign of Charles the Firſt, he bequeathed £12000 to his youngeſt, and near £20000 annual Income to his eldeſt Son; not in any perſonal Preference to his Brother, but as one who was to ſupport the Name and Honours of the Family. He appointed his Brother in Law Executor and Guardian, who, educating the Children agreeable to their different Fortunes and Proſpects in Life, in about Seven Years after the Death of their Father, ſent Richard with a Tutor to take the Tour of Europe, and bound Henry Apprentice to a conſiderable London Merchant.

During the Travels of the One and the Apprenticeſhip of the Other, the Troubles happened, and Cromwell aſſum'd the Regency; before the Fortune of the Morelands could be forfeited or endangered, by ſiding with the Crown or the Commonwealth.

Richard return'd to England a ſhort time before the Reſtoration; and being too gay and too diſſolute for the Plodding and Hypocricy of Cromwell and his Fanaticks, he withdrew to the Manſion Houſe of his Forefathers.

On his Landing he had inquired for his Brother Henry; but hearing that he was [33]lately married, and wholely abſorbed in Matters of Merchandiſe, as he had the utmoſt Contempt for all Cits and Traders, he took no further Notice of him.

In the Country, he amuſed himſelf with his Bottle, Hounds, Hawks, Race Horſes, &c. and in debauching the Perſons of the neighbouring Wenches, and corrupting the Morals of the Neighbouring Squires. But, on the Reſtoration of his Majeſty, of pleaſurable Memory, he haſtened to Court, where he rolled away and ſhone as in his native Sphere. He was always of the Party of the King, Rocheſter, &c. where Virtue was laughed out of Countenance, and where all Manner of Diſſoluteneſs became amiable and recommendable by the Burſts of Merriment and Zeſt of Wit. But toward the latter End of this droll Reign, Earl Richard, being advanced in Age, and being ſtill older in Conſtitution than Years, began to think of providing an Heir to his Eſtate; and, as he had taken vaſt Pains to impair it, he married a Citizen's Daughter who wanted a Title, and with her got a Portion of one hundred thouſand Pounds, which was equally wanting on his Part.

With his Lady he, again, retreated to the Country, where, in leſs than a Year, [34]ſhe made him the exulting Father of a fine Boy; whom he called Richard.

Richard, ſpeedily, became the ſole Centre of all his Mother's Solicitudes and Affections. And though, within the Space of the two ſucceeding Years, ſhe was delivered of a ſecond Boy, yet, as his infant Aſpect was leſs promiſing and more unformed than his Brother's, ſhe ſent him forth to be nurſed by the robuſt Wife of a neighbouring Farmer, where, for the Space of upward of four Years, he was honoured with no Token from Father or Mother, ſave ſome caſual Meſſages, to know from time to time if the Child was in Health.

This Boy was called Henry, after his Uncle by the Father's Side. The Earl had lately ſent, to London, to make Enquiry after his Brother, but could learn no Manner of Tidings concerning him.

Mean while, the Education of the two Children was extremely contraſted. Richard, who was already entitled my little Lord, was not permitted to breathe the Rudeneſs of the Wind. On his lighteſt Indiſpoſition the whole Houſe was in Alarms; his Paſſions had full Scope in all their infant Irregularities; his Genius was put into a Hot Bed, by the Warmth of [35]Applauſes given to every Flight of his opening Fancy; and the whole Family conſpired, from the Higheſt to the Loweſt, to the Ruin of promiſing Talents and a benevolent Heart.

Young Harry, on the other Hand, had every Member as well as Feature expoſed to all Weathers, would run about, Mother-naked for near an Hour, in a froſty Morning; was neither phyſicked into Delicacy, nor flattered into Pride; ſcarce felt the Convenience, and, much leſs underſtood the Vanity of Clothing; and was daily occupied, in playing and wreſtling with the Pigs and two mungril Spaniels on the Dunghil; or in kiſſing, ſcratching, or boxing with the Children of the Village.

When Harry had paſſed his fifth Year, his Father, on a feſtival Day, humbly propoſed to ſend for him to his Nurſes, in order to obſerve how the Boy might turn out, and my Lady, in a Fit of good Humour, aſſented. Nurſe, accordingly, deck'd him out in his holiday Petticoats, and walked with our Hero to the great Houſe, as they called it.

A brilliant Concourſe of the neighbouring Gentry were met in a vaſt Parlour, [36]that appeared to be executed after the Model of Weſtminſter Hall.

There was Sir Chriſtopher Cloudy, who knew much but ſaid nothing; with his very converſable Lady, who ſcarce knew by halves, but ſpoke by wholeſale. In the ſame Range was Sir Standiſh Stately, who in all Companies held the firſt Place, in his own Eſteem. Next to him ſat Lady Childiſh; it was at leaſt thirty Years ſince thoſe Follies might have become her which appeared ſo very ridiculous at the Age of fifty-five. By her Side were the two Stiltons, a blind Man would ſwear that the One was a Clown, and the Other a Gentleman, by the Tones of their Voices. Next to theſe were two Pair of very ill mated Turtles; Mr. Gentle, who ſacrificed his fine Senſe and affluent Fortune to the Vanity and bad Temper of a ſilly and turbulent Wife; and Squire Sulky, a brutal Fool, who tyranized over the moſt ſenſible and moſt amiable of her Sex.

On the oppoſite Side was Lord Prim, who evidently labour'd hard to be eaſy in Converſation; and next to him was Lord Flippant who ſpoke Nonſenſe with great facility. By his Side ſat the fair but dejected Miſs Willow, ſhe had lately diſcovered what a Misfortune it was to be born to Wit, Beauty, and Affluence, the three [37]capital Qualifications that lead the Sex to Calamity. Next to her was Colonel Jolly, with a Heart ever tuned to Merriment and Lungs to Laughter; had he known how to time his Fits, the Laugh might have grown catching. Below him was ſeated Mrs. Mirror a Widow Lady, induſtriouſly accompliſhed in the Faults of People of Faſhion. And below her ſat the beloved and reſpected Mr. Meekly, who always ſought to hide behind the Merits of the Company. Next to him was Major Settle, no one ſpoke with more Importance on things of no Signification. And beſide him ſat Miſs Lovely, who looked Sentiment, and, while ſhe was ſilent, inſpired others with Senſe and Virtue.

Theſe were the principal Characters. The Reſt could not be ſaid to be of any Character at all. The Cloth had been lately removed, and a Hoſt of Glaſſes and Decanters glow'd on the Table, when in comes young Harry eſcorted by his Nurſe.

All the Eyes of the Company were, inſtantly, drawn upon him, but he advanced, with a vacant and unobſerving Phiſiognimy, and thought no higher of the Aſſembly than as of ſo many Peaſants at a Country Wake.

[38] Dicky, my Dear, ſays my Lady, go and welcome your Brother, whereat Dick went up, took Harry by the Hand, and kiſſed him with much Affection. Harry thereupon having eyed his Brother, I don't know You, ſaid he, bluntly, but, at the ſame time held up his little Mouth to kiſs him again.

Dick, ſays my Lady, put your laced Hat upon Harry, till we ſee how it becomes him, which he immediately did; but Harry, feeling an unuſual Incumbrance on his Head, took off the Hat, and having for ſome time looked contemptuouſly at it, he caſt it from him with a ſudden and agile Jerk, as he uſed to caſt flat Stones, in order to make Ducks and Drakes in the Mill Pond. The Hat took the Glaſles and Decanters in full Carrier, ſmaſh go the Glaſſes, abroad pours the Wine on circling Laces, Dreſden Aprons, ſilver'd Silks, and rich Brocades; female Screams fill the Parlour, the Rout is equal to the Uproar, and it was long ere moſt of them could be compoſed to their Places.

In the mean while, Harry took no kind of Intereſt in their Outcries or Diſtreſſes, but ſpying a large Spaniſh Pointer that, juſt then came from under the Table, he ſprung at him like Lightning, ſeized him [39]by the Collar, and vaulted on his Back with inconceivable Agility. The Dog, wholly diſconcerted by ſo unacuſtomed a Burden, capered and plunged about in a violent Manner, but Harry was a better Horſeman than to be ſo eaſily diſmounted; whereon the Dog grew outragious, and ruſhing into a Group of little Miſſes and Maſters, the Children of the Viſitants, he overthrew them like Ninepins; thence proceeding, with equal Rapidity, between the Legs of Mrs. Dowdy, a very fat and elderly Lady, ſhe inſtantly fell backward with a violent Shriek, and, in her Fall, unfortunately overthrew Frank the Foxhunter, who overthrew Andrew the Angler, who overthrew Bob the Beau, who cloſed the Cataſtrophe.

Our Hero, mean Time, was happily diſmounted by the intercepting Petticoats, and fairly laid, without Damage, in the fallen Lady's Lap. From thence he aroſe at his Leiſure, and ſtrolled about the Room, with as unconcerned an Aſpect as if nothing had happen'd amiſs, and as tho' he had neither Act nor Part in this frightful Diſcomfiture.

When Matters were once more, in ſome Meaſure ſet to Rights, my Heavens! exclaimed my Lady, I ſhall faint, the Boy is poſitively an Ideot, he has no Apprehenſion [40]Conception of Perſons or Things. Come hither, Sirrah, ſhe cried with an angry Tone; but, inſtead of complying, Harry caſt on her a Look of Reſentment and ſidled over toward his Nurſe. Dicky, my Dear, ſaid my Lady, go and pretend to beat his Foſter Mother, that we may try if the Child has any kind of Ideas. Here, her Ladyſhip, by ill Fortune, was as much unadviſed, as her Favourite was unhappy in the Execution of her Orders, for while Dick ſtruck at the Nurſe with a counterfeited Paſſion, Harry, inſtantly, reddened, and gave his Brother ſuch a ſudden. Paſh in the Face, that his Noſe and Mouth guſhed out with Blood. Dick ſet up the Roar, my Lady ſcreamed out, and riſing and running at Harry with all imaginable Fury, ſhe caught him up, as a Falcon would truſs a Robin; turned over his Petticoats, and chaſtiſed him with all the Violence of which her Delicacy was capable. Our Hero, however, neither uttered Cry or Tear, but, being ſet down, he turned round on the Company an Eye of Indignation, then cried, come away, Mammy, and iſſued from the Aſſembly.

Harry had ſcarce made his Exit when his Mother exclaimed after him, Ay, ay, take him away Nurſe, take him away, the little Devil, and never let me ſee his Face more.

[41] I ſhall not detain my Readers with a tedious Detail of the many and differing Opinions that the remaining Company expreſſed with regard to our Hero; let it ſuffice to obſerve that they generally agreed that, tho' the Boy did not appear to be endowed by Nature, with a ſingle Faculty of the Animal rationale, he might, nevertheleſs, be rendered capable in Time, of many Places of very honourable and lucrative Employment.

Mr. Meekly, alone, though ſo gentle and complying at other Times, now preſumed to diſſent from the Senſe of the Company. I rather hold, ſaid he, that this Infant is the Promiſe of the greateſt Philoſopher and Hero that our Age is likely to produce. By refuſing his Reſpect to thoſe ſuperficial Diſtinctions, which Faſhion has inadequately ſubſtituted as Expreſſions of human Greatneſs, he approves himſelf the Philoſopher; and, by the Quickneſs of his Feelings for injured Innocence, and his Boldneſs in defending thoſe to whom his Heart is attached, he approves himſelf at once the Hero and the Man.

Harry had now remained ſix Months more with his Nurſe, engaged in his cuſtomary Exerciſes and Occupations. He was already, by his Courage, his Strength, [42]and Action, become tremendous to all the little Boys of the Village, they had all Things to fear from his ſudden Reſentment, but, nothing from his Memory or Recollection of a Wrong, and this alſo was imputed to his native Stupidity. The two mungril Dogs were his inſeparable Play-fellows, they were all tied together in the ſtricteſt Bonds of Friendſhip, and careſſed each other with the moſt warm and unfeigned Affection.

On a Summer's Day as he ſtrolled forth with theſe his faithful Attendants, and rambled into a Park whoſe Gate he ſaw open, he perceived in a little Copſe that bordered on a Fiſhpond, a Stranger ſeated on a Bench of Turf. Harry drew near with his uſual Intrepidity, till he obſerved that the Man had a reverend Beard that ſpread over his Breaſt, that he held ſomething in his Hand on which he gazed with a fixed Attention, and that the Tears rolled down his Cheeks, without ceaſing, and in Silence, except the half ſuppreſs'd Sobs that often broke from his Boſom. Harry ſtood, awhile, immoveable, his little Heart was affected, he approached the old Man with a gentle Reverence, and looking up in his Face, and ſeating himſelf by his Side, the Muſcles of his Infant Aſpect began to relax, and he wept and ſob'd as faſt as his Companion.

[43] Friend.—Pray, who is this ancient Stranger? I have a great Curioſity to know. Is he neceſſary to your Story, is he to have any future Connection with the Child? How came he by the long Beard? Beards were not the Faſhion in thoſe Days. There muſt be ſome extraordinary Reaſon for it, if there is any Reaſon at all. Is his Story long, do you begin upon it directly? It is a great fault in Authors to hold their Readers in Suſpence; our Curioſity grows languid; twenty to one it is vaniſhed, before you begin to give it any Kind of Satisfaction. Who in the World is he, what Buſineſs has he here?

Author.—Sir, you ſee he is a Stranger; I have mentioned him as ſuch. If he chuſes to continue ſo, for ſome Time longer, I know of no right that I have to diſcover him. Perhaps I am the only Perſon breathing whom he has entruſted with the Secret of his Affairs; I am upon Honour not to betray him; you muſt pardon me—pray proceeed.

CHAP. II.

[44]

THE old Gentleman turned and gazed at the Child, as on ſome ſudden Apparition. His Tears ſtopped. He returned the Picture, which he held, into his Boſom. And, lifting up his Eyes, Great Power, he cried, is this the One, of all the World, who has any Feelings for me? Is it this Babe, this Suckling, whom thou haſt ſent, to be a Partaker in my Grieſs, and the Sharer of my Afflictions? Welcome, then, my little Friend, ſaid he, tenderly turning and careſſing the Child, I will live the longer for thy Sake, and endeavour to repay the Tears thou haſt ſhed in my Behalf.

The Language of true Love is underſtood by all Creatures, and was that of which Harry had, almoſt, the only Perception. He returned his Friend's Careſſes with unaffected Ardour, and no Two could be more highly gratified in the Endearments of each Other.

What is your Name, my Dear? ſaid the old Gentleman. Harry Clinton, Sir. Harry Clinton! repeated the Old Man, and ſtarted. And pray who is your Father? the Child, then looking tenderly at [45]him, replied; I'll have you for a Father, if you pleaſe, Sir. The Stranger, then caught him up in his Arms, and paſſionately exclaim'd, You ſhall, you ſhall, my Darling, for the tendereſt of Fathers, never to be torn aſunder, till Death ſhall part us.

Then aſking him where he lived, and Harry pointing to the Town before them, they both got up and went towards it. Our Hero was now again all Glee, all Action; he ſprung from and to his Friend, and play'd and gambol'd about him, like a young Spaniel in a Morning, juſt loos'd from his Chain, and admitted to accompany his Maſter to the Field. As his two Dogs friſked about him, he would now mount upon One, then bound upon t'other, and each pranced and paraded under him as delighted with the Burden. The old Gentleman beheld all with a Pleaſure that had long been a Stranger to his Breaſt, and ſhared in the Joys of his young Aſſociate.

Being arrived near the Farm Houſe, Nurſe, who ſtood at the Door, ſaw them approaching, and cried out, Gaffer, Gaffer, here comes our Harry with the dumb Gentleman. When they were come up. Good People, ſays the Stranger, is this your Child! no, no, Sir, anſwered the [46]Nurſe, we are but his Foſterers. And, pray, who is his Father? He is ſecond Son, Sir, to the Earl of Moreland. The Earl of Moreland! you amaze me greatly, is this all the Notice and Care they take of ſuch a Treaſure? Sir, replied the Nurſe, they never ſent for him but once; they don't mind him, they take him for a Fool. For a Fool? cried he, and ſhook his Head in Token of Diſſent. I am ſure he has the wiſeſt of all human Hearts. I wiſh it may beſo, Sir, ſaid the Nurſe, but he behaved very ſadly, ſome Time ago, at the great Houſe. She then made a Recital of all our young Hero's Adventures in the Manſion-Parlour; whereat the old Gentleman inwardly chuckled, and, for the firſt Time, of ſome Years, permitted his Features to relax into a Smile of Chearfulneſs.

Nurſe, ſaid he, every Thing that I hear and ſee of this Child ſerves the more to endear and bind me to him. Pray, be ſo good as to accompany us to my Houſe, we will try to equip him better both as to Perſon and Underſtanding.

As this Stranger's Seat made Part of the Village, they were ſoon there. He firſt whiſpered his old Domeſtic, who, then, looked upon the Child with Surpriſe and Pleaſure. The Footman was next ſent to [47]bring the Taylor, and ſome light Stuffs from the Town Shop. Matters being thus diſpatched, with reſpect to our Hero's firſt Coat and Britches, Nurſe was kept to Dinner; and after this Gentleman had entertained his young Gueſt with a Variety of little Tricks, childiſh Plays, and other-Fooleries; toward Evening, he diſmiſſed him and his Nurſe, with a Requeſt that ſhe would ſend him every Day, and a Promiſe that he ſhould be returned every Night if ſhe deſired it.

Harry, being thus furniſhed with the external Tokens of a Man Child, having been born into the World, became an inſeparable Friend and Play-fellow to his Patron. At Times of Relaxation, the old Gentleman, with the moſt winning and inſinuating Addreſs, endeavoured to open his Mind and cultivate his Morals, by a thouſand little Fables, ſuch as of bold Sparrows, and naughty Kids, that were carried away by the Hawk, or devoured by the Wolf, and of good Robbins, and innocent Lambs, that the very Hawks and Wolves, themſelves, were fond of. For he never propoſed any Encouragement or Reward to the Heart of our Hero, ſave that of the Love and Approbation of Others. At the Times of ſuch Inſtruction, Harry, who knew no other Dependence, and beheld his Patron as his Father and as his God, would hang upon his Knee, look up to his [48]Face, delighted, and greedily imbibe the Sweetneſs of thoſe Leſſons whoſe Impreſſions neither Age, nor any Occurrence, could ever after eraſe; ſo prevalent are the Dictates of Lips that are beloved.

At other Times, the Stranger would enter, with our Hero, into all his little Frolicks and childiſh Vagaries, would run and wreſtle with him, ride the Rods, roll down the Slope, and never felt ſuch ſweet Senſations and inward Delight, as when he was engaged in ſuch Recreations.

There was a Cock at Harry's Nurſes, the Lord of the Dunghill, between whom and our Hero a very particular Intimacy and Friendſhip had been contracted. Harry's Hand was his daily Caterer; and Dick, for the Cock was ſo called, would hop into the Child's Lap and pick his Cloaths, and rub his Feathers againſt him, and court Harry to tickle and ſtroak and play with him.

Upon a Shrove-Tueſday, while Harry was on his Road, from his Patron's, intending a ſhort Viſit to his Nurſe and Foſter Father, a Lad came to their Door and offer'd Gaffer a double Price for Dick; the Bargain was quickly made, the Lad bore off his Prize in Triumph, and Gaffer withdrew to the manuring of a back Field. Juſt at that Criſis Harry came up, and [49]enquired of the Maid for his Daddy and Mammy, but was anſwered that neither of them was within. He then aſked after his favourite Cock, but was told that his Daddy had, that Minute, ſold him to yonder Man who was almoſt out of Sight.

Away ſprung our Hero, like an Arrow from a Bow, and held the Man in View till he ſaw him enter a great Croud, at the upper end of the Street. Up he comes, at laſt, quite out of Breath, and making way through the Aſſembly, perceived his Cock, at ſome Diſtance, tied to a ſhort Stake, and a Lad preparing to throw at him with a Stick. Forward he ruſhed, again, and ſtopped reſolutely before his Bird, to ward the Blow with his own Perſon, at the Inſtant that the Stick had taken its Flight, and that all the People cry'd out, hold! hold! One End of the Stick took Harry in the left Shoulder, and bruiſed him ſorely; but, not regarding that, he inſtantly ſtooped, delivered his captive Favourite, whipt him under his Arm, caught up the Stick, flouriſh'd it, as in Defiance of all Opponents, made Homeward thro' the Croud, and was followed by the Acclamations of the whole Aſſemby.

The old Gentleman was ſtanding before his Court Door when his Favourite arrived, [50]all in a Sweat; what's the Matter, my Dear, ſays he, what made you put yourſelf into ſuch a Heat? what Cock is that you have under your Arm? In anſwer to theſe ſeveral Queſtions Harry ingenuouſly confeſſed the whole Affair. And, when his Patron with ſome Warmth, cried, why, my Love, did you venture your Life for a ſilly Cock? why did I? repeated the Child, why Sir, becauſe he loved me. The Stranger, then, ſtepping back and gazing upon him with Eyes of tender Admiration; may Heaven for ever bleſs thee, my little Angel, he exclaimed, and continue to utter from thy Lips the Sentiments that it Inſpires. Then, catching him up in his Arms, he bathed him with his Tears, and almoſt, ſtifled him with his Careſſes.

In a few Days, our Hero was again reſtored, by frequent Fomentations, to the Uſe of his Arm; and his Dada, as he called him, and he returned to their old Recreations.

As Harry's Ideas began to open and expand, he grew ambitious of greater Power and Knowledge. He wiſhed for the Strength of that Bull, and for the Swiftneſs of yonder Horſe. And, on the Cloſe of a ſolemn and ſerene Summer's Evening, while he and his Patron walked [51]in the Garden, he wiſhed for Wings that he might fly up and ſee what the Sky, and the Stars, and the riſing Moon were made of.

In order to reform this Inordinacy of his Deſires, his Patron addreſſed him in the following Manner.

I will tell you a Story, my Harry. On the other Side of yonder Hill there runs a mighty clear River, and in that River, on a Time, there lived three ſilver Trouts, the prettieſt little Fiſhes that any one ever ſaw. Now God took a great liking and love to theſe pretty ſilver Trouts, and he let them want for nothing that ſuch little Fiſhes could have occaſion for. But two of them grew ſad and diſcontented; and the One wiſhed for this Thing, and the Other wiſhed for that Thing, and neither of them could take Pleaſure in any Thing that they had, becauſe they were always longing for ſomething that they had not.

Now, Harry, you muſt know that all this was very naughty in thoſe two little Trouts; for God had been exceedingly kind to them; he had given them every Thing that was fitteſt for them; and he never grudged them any Thing that was for their Good; but inſtead of thanking him for all his Care and his Kindneſs, they [52]blamed him, in their own Minds, for refuſing them any Thing that their ſilly Fancies were ſet upon. In ſhort there was no End of their wiſhing, and longing, and quarrelling, in their Hearts, for this Thing and t'other.

At laſt, God was ſo provoked, that he reſolved to puniſh their Naughtineſs by granting their Deſires, and to make the Folly of thoſe two little ſtubborn Trouts an Example to all the fooliſh Fiſh in the whole World.

For this Purpoſe, he called out to the three little ſilver Trouts, and told them they ſhould have whatever they wiſhed for.

Now, the Eldeſt of theſe Trouts was a very proud little Fiſh, and wanted, forſooth, to be ſet up above all other little Fiſhes. May it pleaſe your Greatneſs, ſays he, I muſt be free to tell you that I do not, at all, like the Way in which you have placed me. Here you have put me into a poor, narrow, and troubleſome River, where I am ſtraitened on the right Side, and ſtraitened on the left Side and can neither get down into the Ground, nor up into the Air, nor go where, nor do any one Thing I have a mind to. I am not ſo blind, for all, but that I can ſee, well [53]enough, how mighty kind and bountiful you can be to Others. There are your favourite little Birds, who fly this Way and that Way, and mount up to the very Heavens; and do whatever they pleaſe, and have every Thing at Command, becauſe you have given them Wings. Give me ſuch Wings, alſo, as you have given to them, and then I will have ſomething for which I ought to thank you.

No ſooner aſk than have. He felt the Wings he wiſhed for growing from either Side, and, in a Minute, he ſpread them abroad, and roſe out of the Water. At firſt he felt a wonderful Pleaſure in finding himſelf able to fly. He mounted high into the Air, above the very Clouds, and he looked down with Scorn on all the Fiſhes in the World.

He now reſolved to travel, and to take his Diverſion far and wide. He flew over Rivers, and Meadows, and Woods, and Mountains; till, growing faint with Hunger and Thirſt, his Wings began to fail him, and he thought it beſt to come down to get ſome Refreſhment.

The little Fool did not conſider that he was now in a ſtrange Country, and many a Mile from the ſweet River, where he was born and bred, and had received all [54]his Nouriſhment. So, when he came down, he happened to alight among dry Sands and Rocks, where there was not a Bit to eat, nor a Drop of Water to drink; and ſo there he lay faint and tired, and unable to riſe, gaſping, and fluttering, and beating himſelf againſt the Stones, till at length he died in great Pain and Miſery.

Now, the ſecond ſilver Trout, though he was not ſo high minded as the firſt little proud Trout, yet he did not want for Conceit enough, and he was moreover a narrow hearted and very ſelfiſh little Trout, and, provided he himſelf was ſnug and ſafe, he did not care what became of all the Fiſhes in the World. So he ſays to God:

May it pleaſe your Honour. I don't wiſh, not I, for Wings to fly out of the Water, and to ramble into ſtrange Places, where I don't know what may become of me. I lived contented and happy enough, till the other Day, when, as I got under a cool Bank from the Heat of the Sun, I ſaw a great Rope coming down into the Water, and it faſtened itſelf, I don't know how, about the Gills of a little Fiſh that was baſking beſide me, and he was lifted out of the Water, ſtruggling and working in great Pain, till he was carried, I know not where, quite out of my Sight. So, I [55]thought in my own Mind, that this Evil, ſome Time or other, may happen to myſelf, and my Heart trembled within me, and I have been very ſad and diſcontented ever ſince. Now, all I deſire of you, is, that you would tell me the Meaning of this, and of all the other Dangers to which you have ſubjected us poor little mortal Fiſhes; for then I ſhall have Senſe enough to take care of my own Safety, and I am very well able to provide for my own Living, I warrant you.

No ſooner ſaid than done. God immediately opened his Underſtanding; and he knew the Nature and Meaning of Snares, Nets, Hooks, and Lines, and of all the Dangers to which ſuch little Trouts could be liable.

At firſt he greatly rejoiced in this his Knowledge; and he ſaid to himſelf, now ſurely I ſhall be the happieſt of all Fiſhes; for, as I underſtand and am forewarned of every Miſchief that can come near me, I'm ſure I love myſelf too well not to keep out of Harm's way.

From this Time forward, he took Care not to go into any deep Holes, for fear that a Pike, or ſome other huge Fiſh might be there, who would make nothing of ſwallowing him up at one Gulph. He [56]alſo kept away from the ſhallow Places, eſpecially in hot Weather, left the Sun ſhould dry them up and not leave him Water enough to ſwim in. When he ſaw the Shadow of a Cloud coming and moving upon the River, a ha! ſaid he to himſelf, here are the Fiſhermen with their Nets, and immediately he got on one Side and ſkulked under the Banks, where he kept trembling in his Skin, till the Cloud was paſt. Again when he ſaw a Fly ſkimming on the Water, or a Worm coming down the Stream, he did not dare to bite, however hungry he might be; no no, ſaid he to them, my honeſt Friends, I am not ſuch a Fool as that comes to neither; go your ways and tempt thoſe who know no better, who are not aware that you may ſerve as Baits to ſome treacherous Hook, that lies hid for the Deſtruction of thoſe ignorant and ſilly Trouts that are not on their Guard.

Thus, this over careful Trout kept himſelf in continual Frights and Alarms, and could neither eat, nor drink, nor ſleep in Peace, leſt ſome Miſchief ſhould be at Hand, or that he might be taken napping. He daily grew poorer, and poorer, and ſadder, and ſadder, for he pined away with Hunger, and ſigh'd himſelf to Skin and Bone; till, waſted almoſt to nothing with Care and Melancholy, he [57]at laſt died, for fear of dying, the moſt miſerable of all Deaths.

Now, when God came to the youngeſt ſilver Trout, and aſked him what he wiſhed for. Alas (ſaid this darling little Trout) you know, may it pleaſe your Worſhip, that I am but a very fooliſh and good for nothing little Fiſh; and I don't know, not I, what is good for me or what is bad for me; and I wonder how I came to be worth bringing into the World, or what you could ſee in me to take any thought about me. But, if I muſt wiſh for ſomething, it is that you would do with me whatſoever you think beſt; and that I ſhould be pleaſed to live, or die, even juſt as you would have me.

Now, as ſoon as this precious Trout made this Prayer in his good and his humble little Heart, God took ſuch a Liking and a Love to him, as the like was never known. And God found it in his own Heart, that he could not but take great Care of this ſweet little Trout, who had truſted himſelf ſo wholely to his Love and good Pleaſure, and God went whereſoever he went, and was always with him and about him, and was to him as a Father and Friend and Companion; and he put Contentment into his Mind and Joy [58]into his Heart; and ſo this little Trout ſlept always in Peace, and wakened in Gladneſs; and whether he was full or hungry, or whatever happened to him, he was ſtill pleas'd and thankful; and he was the happieſt of all Fiſhes that ever ſwam in any Water.

Harry at the Cloſe of this Fable, looked down and grew thoughtful, and his Patron left him to himſelf to ruminate on what he had heard Now, Harry had often heard talk of God, and had ſome general though confuſed Notions of his Power.

The next Day, he requeſted his Patron to repeat the Story of the Three little ſilver Trouts. When he had ended, Dada, ſays Harry, I believe I begin to gueſs a little at what you mean. You wouldn't have me wiſh for any Thing, but leave every Thing to God; and, if I thought that God loved me, half as well as you love, me, I would leave every Thing to himſelf, like the good little Trout. He does, my Harry, he loves you a thouſand Times better than I love you, nay a thouſand Times better than you love yourſelf. God is all Love; it is he who made every Thing, and he loves every Thing that he has made. Ay, but Dada, I can't, for the Heart of me help pitying the two poor [59]little naughty Trouts. If God loves every Thing, why did he make any Thing to dye? You begin to think too deeply, Harry; we will ſpeak more of theſe Matters another Time. For the preſent, let it ſuffice to know that, as he can kill, he can alſo make alive, again, at his own Pleaſure.

Harry had now remained about twelve Months with his Patron, when it was intimated to the Earl and his Lady that the dumb Man had taken a Fancy to their Child, and, that he was almoſt conſtantly, reſident at his Houſe. Alarmed at this News, and apprehending that this Man might be ſome Impoſtor or Kidnapper, they, once more, ſent Orders to the Nurſe to bring the Boy home.

Nurſe run in a Hurry to the Stranger's, and, having informed him of the Neceſſity ſhe was under to take away the Child, many mutual Tears were ſhed at Parting; but Harry was the ſooner pacified when Nurſe told him that it was but for a ſhort Viſit, as before.

When they came to the Caſtle, there was no Company in the Parlour, but the Earl and his Lady, with Lord Richard and ſome other Maſters of Quality, about his Age and Size. Harry, however looked about with a Brow of Diſguſt; and, when [60]my Lady deſired him to come and kiſs her, maybe you'll whip me, he anſwer'd ſullenly; No, ſhe replied, if you don't ſtrike your Brother Dicky any more. I won't beat him, ſays Harry, if he won't beat Mammy. Come then and kiſs me, my Dear, ſaid my Lady, whereon Harry advanced with a ſlow Caution, and held up his little Mouth to receive her Salute. He was then kiſs'd by his Father, his Brother, and the little Maſters, and all Things promiſed future Reconcilement and Amity.

A Number of glittering Toys were then preſented to Harry on all Sides; he received them, indeed, in good Part, but laid them all aſide again as Things of whoſe Uſe he yet was not wiſe enough to be apprehenſive.

Friend.

Is it not too early for your Hero to ſhew a Contempt of Toys?

Author.

My Lady, as you will ſee, imputed it to his Folly, not to his Philoſophy.

Fr.

But Children have a natural Fondneſs for fine Things.

Aut.

How ſo, is there a natural Value in them?

Fr.
[61]

No. But—

Aut.

Education, indeed, has made the Fondneſs next to natural. The Coral and Bells, teach Infants, on the Breaſt, to be delighted with Sound and Glitter. Has the Child of an Inhabitant of Monomotapa a natural Fondneſs for Garbage?

Fr.

I think not.

Aut.

But, when he is inſtructed to prize them, and ſees that it is the Faſhion to be adorned with ſuch Things, he prefers them to the Gliſter of Gold and Pearl. Tell me, was it the Folly, or Philoſophy, of the Cock in the Fable, that ſpurned the Diamond and wiſhed for the Barley Corn?

Fr.

The Moral ſays it was his Folly, that did not know how to make a right Eſtimate of Things.

Aut.

A wiſer Moral would ſay it was his Philoſophy, that did know how to make a right Eſtimate of Things; for, of what Uſe could the Diamond be to the Cock? In the Age of Acorns, antecedent to Ceres and the royal Ploughman Triptolemus, a ſingle Barley Corn had been of more Value, to Mankind, than all the [62]Diamonds that glowed in the Mines of India.

Fr.

You ſee, however, that Age, Reflection, and Philoſophy can hardly wean People from their early Fondneſs for Shew.

Aut.

I ſee, on the contrary, that the older they grow, and the wiſer they think themſelves, the more they become attached to Trifles. What would you think of a ſage Miniſter of State, who ſhould make it the utmoſt Height of his Wiſhes and Ambition to be mounted on a Hobbyhorſe?

Fr.

You can't be ſerious, for the Soul of you.

Aut.

It has been ſeriouſly, and truly, and literally the Fact. For, Haman being aſked, by the greateſt Monarch upon Earth, what ſhould be done moſt deſirable for the Man whom the King delighted to Honour? He anſwered (in the Perſuaſion that he himſelf was the Perſon) Let the royal Apparel be brought and let him be arrayed therewith, and let him be put upon the Horſe that the King uſeth to ride, and let him be brought through the Street, and have it proclaimed before him, thus ſhall it be done to the Man whom the King delighteth to Honour. What ſhall we ſay here? could the [63]ſage and ambitious Haman think of nothing better than what would have ſuited the requeſt of a Child of five Years old? Or was it that the Emperor of Aſia, or this World itſelf, had nothing more valuable to beſtow than a fine Coat and a Hobbyhorſe?

Fr.

How many Volumes do you expect this Work will contain?

Aut.

Sir, a Book may be compared to the Life of your Neighbour. If it be good, it cannot laſt too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.

Fr.

But, how long, I ſay, do you propoſe to make your Story?

Aut.

My good Friend, the Reader may make it as ſhort as he pleaſes.

CHAP. III.

[64]

MY Lady piqued thereat, told the Earl that ſhe reſolved, once more to prove the Wits of the Youngſter in Britches; and whiſpering to Dicky, he immediately went out and took with him his Companions. Soon after, Dick returns without his Shoes, but with a pitiful Face, and cries, Brother Harry honey, I want a Pair of Shoes ſadly, will you give me Your's? Yes, I will, ſaid Harry, and inſtantly ſtrips and preſents them to him. Then entered another Boy and demanded his Stockings, in the like petitioning manner; another beg'd his Hat, another his Coat, another his Waiſtcoat, all of which he beſtow'd without Heſitation. But, when the laſt Boy came in and petitioned for his Shirt; no, I won't, ſaid Harry, a little moody, I want a Shirt myſelf. My Lady then exclaimed, upon my Conſcience, there is but the Thickneſs of a bit of Linen between this Child and a down right Fool. But my Lord roſe up, took Harry in his Arms, and having tenderly embraced him, God bleſs thee, my Boy, he cried, and make thee an Honour to old England.

Dinner, ſoon after, was ordered up, and Harry permitted his Nurſe to retire peaceably [65]to the Kitchen, during the Interval, as he and all the Maſters were then on Terms of Amity.

My Lady placed Harry, next herſelf, at Table, but no Peer ever payed ſuch a Price at Pontac's, as our diſtreſſed Hero did that Day for his Ordinary. For he muſt ſit up juſt ſo, and hold his Knife and Fork juſt ſo, and cut his Meat, and open his Mouth, and ſwallow his Victuals juſt ſo and ſo and ſo. And then, between every two Words, there was to be ſo many my Lords and my Ladies, and I thank you Sir, and I thank you Madam, and Maſter this and Maſter that, that poor Harry, no longer able to contain himſelf, cried, I wiſh I was with my Mammy in the Kitchen.

After Dinner the Children were ſet to Queſtions and Commands. But here, our Hero was beaten hollow, as he was afterward, at Draw Glove and Shuffle the Slipper. They next came to Hot Cockles, and Harry, being firſt down, had his left Hand well warm'd for near a Quarter of an Hour, till, more by good Luck than any good Policy, he fix'd upon a delicate little Gentleman, the Son and Heir of Lord and Lady Toilet, who lay down, accordingly; when Harry, endeavouring to [66]ſum all the Favours he had received in one Payment, gave Maſter ſuch a Whirrick, that his Cries inſtantly ſounded the ne plus ultra to ſuch kind of Diverſions. But Harry being chidden for his Rudeneſs and obliged to aſk Pardon, all was ſoon whole again.

Now, throughout theſe ſeveral Amuſements, though this Group of little Quality, behaved themſelves with great good Manners towards our Hero, yet, as my Lady's Judgment of his Intellects became current thro' the Country, and that all took him to be little removed from a Natural; theſe ſmall Gentry, alſo, held him in the loweſt Contempt, and gave themſelves ſecret Credit for the Decency of their Conduct in his Behalf.

Two or three of them, however, having maliciouſly contrived to ſet him in a ridiculous Light, prevailed upon his Brother to join in the Plot. They, accordingly, propoſed a Play, wherein, Harry was enjoined to ſtand in the Centre, for ſo many Minutes, without Motion or Reſentment let his Companions do what they would about him.

Our Hero, conſequently, fixed himſelf to a Poſture and Countenance altogether determined. The Attack inſtantly began. [67]Some grinned, ſome pointed, ſome jeered and flouted at him, ſome twitched him by the Hair, ſome pinched him by the Breech, one tweaked him by the Noſe, and another ſpirted Water full in his Face; but Harry bore all with the Firmneſs and Reſignation of a Stoic Philoſopher; till my Lady, quite impatient, cried out, did you ever ſee the like; ſuch a Stock of a Child, ſuch a Statue? why, he has no kind of Feeling, either of Body or Mind.

While ſhe was pronouncing theſe Words, young Skinker, eldeſt Son to a wealthy 'Squire, a chubbed unlucky Boy, about the Age of Lord Richard, put one Hand within the other and deſired Harry to ſtrike thereon, which he did accordingly; but, feeling unuſual Smart, and fired at the Treachery that he, juſtly, conceived was in the Caſe, Harry gave him ſuch a ſudden Fiſt in the Temple as drove him ſtaggering backward, ſeveral Steps. Skinker, wholly enraged, and conſcious of ſuperior Strength, immediately returned, and with all his Might, gave Harry a Stroke on the Head, which Compliment he returned by a Punch in the Eye as rapid as Lightning. All the Boys ſtood aloof, and amazed at the Combat. My Lady, vehemently cried out to part them. But my Lord roſe and, peremptorily, commanded fair Play. Mean while, young Skinker, wholly deſperate to [68]be foiled by one ſo much his Inferior in Strength and Underſtanding, flew on Harry like a Fury and faſtened the Nails of both his Hands in his Face, from which Gripe our Hero as quickly diſengaged himſelf, by darting his Head into the Noſe and Mouth of his Adverſary, who was inſtantly covered with Blood, though his Paſſion would not permit him to attend to the Pain; for, exerting his laſt Effort, he cloſed in on our little Champion, and determined, at once, to finiſh the Combat, by lifting and daſhing him againſt the Ground; but Harry finding himſelf going, nimbly put one Foot behind and hit Skinker in the Ham, and, at the ſame time puſhing forward, with all his Force, prone fell the unfortunate Skinker precipitated by the double Weight of himſelf and his Antagoniſt, and his Head rebounded againſt the Floor, while up ſprung Harry, and with a riſing Dunt in the Stomach, put a Period to the Fray.

All diſmay'd, and, wholly diſcomforted, Skinker flowly aroſe, and began to puke and cry moſt piteouſly. His Companions then gathered about him, and, compaſſionating his Plight, turned an Eye of Indignation upon the Victor; all promiſcuouſly exclaimed, O fie, Maſter Harry, I'm quite aſhamed, Maſter Harry, you gave the firſt [69]Blow; it was you that gave the firſt Blow, Maſter Harry; to all which Reproaches Harry, ſurlily, replied, if I gave firſt Blow he gave firſt Hurt.

Come, come, ſaid my Lord, there muſt be ſomething more in this Affair than we are, yet, acquainted with. Come hither Maſter Skinker, tell me the Truth, my Dear, what was it you did to Harry that provoked him to ſtrike you? Indeed, Sir, ſaid Skinker, I did not intend to Hurt him ſo much. When I gave him one Hand to ſtrike, I held a Pin, within ſide in the other, but the Pin run up further than I thought for. Go, go, ſaid my Lord, you deſerve what you have got. You are an ill-hearted Boy, and ſhall not come here to play any more.

My Lady then called Harry, deſired to look at his Hand, and found the Palm covered with Blood. This ſhe waſhed away, and, having found the Wound, ſhe put a ſmall bit of Black ſticking Silk to the Orifice, and Harry inſtantly held himſelf as ſound a Man as ever.

It was then that, inſtead of exulting or crowing over his Adverſary, he began to relax into Melancholy and Dejection, and ſideling over toward Skinker, and, looking wiſtfully in his Face, if, ſaid Harry, with [70]a trembling Lip, if you will Kiſs and Friends with me, I'll never beat you any more. To this Overture Skinker was, with a ſullen Reluctance, perſuaded by his Companions. And, from that Moment, the Victor began to gain Ground in the Heart and good Graces both of Father and Mother.

Night now approached, the Candles were lighted up, and the Children took a ſhort and ſlight Repaſt. Maſter Dicky then, privately whiſpering to his Mamma, deſired her not to be frighted at what ſhe might ſee, and immediately withdrew. In a ſhort Time he return'd, and gathering all his little Companions into a Group, in the Centre of the Parlour, held them a while in Chat. When, O tremendous! a back Door flew open, and, in glided a moſt terrifying and horrible Apparition; the Body and Limbs, from the Neck downwards, were all wrapt in a winding Sheet; and the Head, tho' Fear could not attend to its Form, appeared wholly illuminated with Flames that glared thro' the Eyes, Mouth and Noſtrils.

At Sight hereof, Maſter Dicky, appearing the firſt to be frighted, ſcreamed out, and ran behind his Mamma's Chair, as it were for Protection; the Pannick grew [71]inſtantly contagious, and all this Hoſt of little Gentry, who were, thereafter, to form our Senates, and to lead our Armies, ran, ſhrieking and ſhivering, to hide themſelves in Holes and to tremble in Corners.

Our Hero, alone, ſtood undaunted, tho' concerned; and, like an Aſtronomer who, with equal Dread and Attention, contemplates ſome ſudden Phenomenon in the Heavens, which he apprehends to be ſent as an Enſign or Forerunner to the fall of mighty States, or diſpeopling of Nations, ſo Harry with bent and apprehenſive Brows, beheld and conſidered the approaching Spectre.

He had never heard nor formed any Idea of Ghoſts of Hobgoblins, he therefore ſtood to deliberate what he had to fear from it. It ſtill advanced upon him, nor had he yet budged. When his Brother cried out, from behind my Lady's Chair, beat it, Harry, beat it. On the inſtant, Harry flew back to the Corner, next the Hall, and catching up his Staff, the Trophy of Shrove Tueſday, he return'd upon the Spectre, and, aiming a noble Blow at the illuminated Sconce, he, at once, ſmaſh'd the outward Lantern; drove the Candle, Flame and all, into the Mouth of him who held it; and open'd his upper [72]Lip from the Noſe to the Teeth. Out ſpouted the Blood as from a Spiggot. The Ghoſt clapped all the Hands that he had to his Mouth, and ſlunk away to ſhew to his Friends in the Kitchen, how he had been baffled and mauled by an Infant of ſeven Summers.

Heav'n preſerve us, cried my Lady, we ſhall have nothing but Broils and Bloodſhed in the Houſe while this Child is among us. Indeed, my Dear, replied the Earl, if there was any Thing more than mere Accident in this Buſineſs, it was the Fault of your Favourite Dicky, who deſired the Boy to ſtrike.

By this Time, the little Gentry came, all from their lurking Holes, though yet pale and unaſſured. And, whatever Contempt they might have for the Intellects of Harry, they had, now, a very ſincere Veneration for his Proweſs.

Bed Time now approaching, and all being again ſettled. Harry, ſays my Lord, you have been a very good Boy, to Day, and have joined with your Companions in all their little Plays. Now, if you have any Plays to ſhew them I am ſure they will have the good Manners to do as you deſire. What ſay you Harry, have you any Play to ſhew them? Yes, Sir, ſaid Harry, [73]I have a many of them; there's firſt, Leap Frog, and Thruſh a Thruſh. To it, then, Harry, ſays my Lord, and pray, all you little Gentlemen, do you obſerve his Directions.

No ſooner ſaid than done. Harry took his Companions, One by One, and, cauſing them to ſtoop, with their Heads toward the Ground in a long Line, and at certain Diſtances each before t'other, he returned to the Tail, and taking the Advantage of a ſhort Run to quicken his Motion, he laid his Hands on the Rump of the Hindmoſt, and vaulting lightly over him, he, with amazing Rapidity, flew along the whole Line, clearing a Man, at ev'ry Motion, till he alighted before the Foremoſt, and down he popt in the Poſture of thoſe behind.

My Lady, in utter Aſtoniſhment, lifting up her Hands and Eyes, exclaim'd, O the fine Creature, O the graceful Creature! if there was but a Mind to match that Body, there would not be ſuch another Boy in the Univerſe.

Lord Richard, being now hindmoſt, was the next who adventured, and, with Action enough, clear'd his two firſt Men; but then having loſt the Advantage of his Run, and, his Foreman being of more [74]than ordinary Size; he firſt ſtuck upon his Rump, and, pitching thence, broke his Forehead againſt the Floor. He got up however with a pleaſant Countenance, and, running along ſide the Line, ſet himſelf in his former Poſture before his Brother. The Hindmoſt then, and then the next, and the next, and ſo onward, took their Turns, in Succeſſion, without any better Succeſs. The one bruiſed his Shoulder, another ſprained his Finger, another bumpt his Head, another broke his Noſe, &c. &c. So that, in leſs than five Minutes, my Lady had got an Hoſpital of her own, though not altogether conſiſting of Incurables.

Now, Spirits, and Vinegar, brown Paper, black Plaiſter, &c. were called for in a Hurry, and, the ſeveral Stupes and Dreſſings being ſkilfully applied, the Children were ordered to their reſpective Beds, and Nurſe was prevailed upon to continue with Harry, till he ſhou'd be reconciled to his new Friends and Aſſociates.

Now Harry was become a Favourite, eſpecially among the Servants who, in a manner; adored him, ſince the Adventure of the Box and the Hobgoblin.

Friend.
[75]

Hobgoblin. — In good Time — Nothing amazes me, ſo much, as the terrifying Apprehenſions that the World, from the Beginning, has univerſally entertained of Ghoſts and Spectres.

Author.

Do you fear them?

Fr.

No — I can't ſay — not much — ſomething of this formerly. I ſhould not like, even now, to lie alone, in a remote Chamber of a ruinous Caſtle ſaid to be haunted, and have my Curtains, at Midnight, opened ſuddenly upon me by a Death's-head and Bloody-bones. All Nonſenſe, I know it; the early Prejudices of a daſtardly Fancy — I fear, while I am convinced there is nothing to be feared. — Do you think there is any ſuch Thing in Nature as a Spirit?

Aut.

I know not that there is any ſuch Thing, in Nature, as Matter.

Fr.

Not know there is any ſuch Thing as Matter? — You love to puzzle — to throw lets into the Road of common Senſe. — What elſe do you know? from what elſe can you form any kind of Idea?

Aut.
[76]

The Room is warm enough, more Heat is needleſs. — I know that Thoughts and Conceptions are raiſed in my Mind; but, how they are raiſed, or that they are adequate Images of Things ſuppoſed to be repreſented, I know not. What if this Something, or this Nothing, called Matter, ſhould be a Shadow, a Vacuum, in reſpect of Spirit, wholely reſiſtleſs to it and pervadeable by it? Or, what if it be no other than a various Manifeſtation of the ſeveral good and evil Qualities of Spirit? If one infinite Spirit, as is ſaid, fills the Univerſe, all other Exiſtence muſt be but as the Space wherein he eſſentially abides and exiſts; indeed, they could not be produced, or continued for a Moment, but by his exiſting omnipotently, indiviſibly, entirely, in and throughout every Part.

Fr.

This is new, very new — but I will not batter my Brains againſt your Caſtle. — According to your Theſis, when a Man is apprehenſive of a Spirit or Spectre, it is not of Shadows but of Subſtances that he is afraid.

Aut.

Certainly; his principal Apprehenſion ariſes from his believing it more ſufficient, more powerful, and more formidable than himſelf.

Fr.
[77]

Excuſe me, there are more tremendous Reaſons. On the Suppoſition of an Engagement, thoſe Sort of inviſible Gentry have many Advantages over us. They give a Man no manner of fair Play. They have you here, and have you there, and your beſt Watch and Ward is no better than fencing againſt an inviſible Flail. — But, ſeriouſly, do you think we have any innate Fears of theſe Matters?

Aut.

All our Fears ariſe from the Senſe of our own Weakneſs, and of the Power and Inclination that Others may have to hurt us.

Fr.

If our Horrour of Apparitions is not innate, how comes it to paſs, that Soldiers, that general Officers, who dare all other Danger, that Heroes who, like Brutus, have given Death to themſelves, or who have been led to Execution without a changing Cheek, have yet dreaded to lie alone, or to be left in the dark?

Aut.

We all ſee that a Spirit has vaſt Power. Nothing elſe in Truth can have any Power at all. We perceive, by ourſelves and others, with what Eaſe it can act upon what we call Matter; how it moves, how it lifts it. Perhaps, were our Spirits detached from this diſtempered Priſon, to which [78]the Degeneracy of our fallen Nature has confined them, they might more eaſily whirl a Mountain through the Atmoſphere, than they can now caſt a Pebble into the Air. The Conſideration of this Power, when joined to Malevolence, as is generally the Caſe, becomes very tremendous. The Stories told by Nurſes and Goſſips about a Winter's Fire, when the young Auditors crouch cloſer and cloſer together, and dare not look about for fear of what may be behind them, leave Impreſſions that no ſubſequent Reaſon or Religion can efface. The Ideas of an Apparition, on theſe Occaſions, are connected with all the Horrours, of which infant Imaginations can be ſuſceptible; Fangs, Horns, a threatning Mien, ſaucer Eyes, a flaming Breath, and a deadly Aſpect. When Children are told of Fairies, who carry off People to dwell with them under Ground, and of evil Spirits who ſnatch away Soul and Body, together, to be their Aſſociates in Regions of Darkneſs, and Woe, the Fear of ſuch Evils greatly ſurpaſſes thoſe of Death, as it weds Miſery to Exiſtence beyond the Grave. — On the contrary Side. Had Spirits been originally repreſented to Infants as Beings of an amiable Appearance, and as Guardians benevolent and beneficent to Man; had they further deigned to viſit us under ſuch Repreſentations, and, had we experienced the Advantage of their Inſtructions [79]and good Offices, we ſhould have met them with Tranſport, and have parted with Regret.

Fr.

I obſerve that, as our female Antiquarians drop off, our Faith in Spectres perceptibly decays. We have not the fiftieth Story either propagated or believed, that was credited as Goſpel when I was a Boy. What think you, is it for, or againſt Religion, that ſuch Fables ſhould get footing among Mankind?

Aut.

I never could think it for the Intereſt of Religion that the Providence of God ſhould be elbowed, as it were, quite out of the World by a Syſtem of Daemoniſm. On the other Hand, I take the Devil to be a Perſonage of much more Prudence than to frighten his Favourites from him by aſſuming ſuch horrid and diſguſtful Appearances. He rather chuſes to lurk behind Temptation, in the Allurement of Beauty, the Deceitfulneſs of Smiles, the Glozing of Compliments, in Revel and Banquetting, in Titles and Honours, in the Glitter of Ornament, and in the Pomp of State. When God ſends his Spirits on Meſſages to Man, there is a Meaning of Importance in the Errand. Such was that of his Angel to Manoah for the Delivery of a People; and to Zacharias [80]and the bleſſed Virgin for the Redemption of Humankind. But, when the Devil is ſaid to ſend his Emiſſaries throughout the Earth, on what Errands does this Arch-Politician employ them? Even ſuch as could ſuit no other than a Dunce or a Driveller. I never yet heard of one of theſe Miſſions that could be conſtrued to any Intention of Cunning or common Senſe. I therefore hold the Legends of his ghoſtly Viſitation to be altogether apocryphal.

Fr.

Every Man of common Senſe muſt be of the ſame Opinion. And yet, have you known any Perſon wholely free from ſuch Prejudices, who made no Diſtinction, on this fantaſtical Article, between Darkneſs and Mid-Day, between a lonely Charnel Houſe and a full Aſſembly?

Aut.

I have; but they were Men of exceeding ſtrong Nerves; as alſo of exceedingly clear or exceedingly callous Conſciences, which, coming from oppoſite Points, equally met for the ſame Purpoſe on this Occaſion.

Two Travellers, the One a Man of Piety, the Other a Profligate, met at a Country Inn juſt as Night came upom them. It was Halontide-Eve, the Seaſon, in thoſe Days, wherein the Devils were ſaid to keep high Carnival, and when all the Inhabitants [81]of the viſionary Regions were ſuppoſed to revel and range throughout the Earth at Pleaſure.

For want of better Company our Travellers made up an Acquaintance, and further cemented it by a Jugg of good Liquor. The Night was dark. The Girls of the Houſe had new waſh'd their Smocks, to be hung to the Fire, and turn'd by the ghoſtly Reſemblances of their Sweethearts; and the Converſation, in the Kitchen, ran on many an authentic Narrative of Spectres, and, particularly, on the Man in Gibbets who hung by the Road, and who was reported, between Twelve and One at Midnight, to deſcend from the Gallows, and take juſt three turns about the old Barn.

Do you believe any of this droll Stuff, ſaid the Profligate. I know not what to think, anſwered his pious Companion, I find all the World in the ſame Story, and yet, as the ſaying is, I never ſaw any Thing more frightful than myſelf. As for my Share, ſaid the Profligate, I think I ſhouldn't fear the great Devil himſelf; and indeed I ſhould be glad to have a little Chat with the old Gentleman. Stout as you are, rejoined his Companion, I will lay you a Bett of five Crowns that you dare not warm a Porringer of Broth, and [82]go, and offer it, without there, to the Man in Gibbets, I will depend on your Honour for Performance of Articles. 'Tis done, cried the other; the Betts were produced, and reſpectively depoſited in the Hands of my Landlady.

Our pious Traveller, who now began to be alarmed for his Wager, ſtole ſlily out, while his Companion was buſied in heating the Broth. He made up to the Place where the deceaſed Malefactor was taking the freſh Air. The Gallows was low, and, by the Advantage of a Bank behind and his own Agility, he leaped up and faſtened his Arms about the Shoulders of the Corpſe, ſo that they both appeared but as one Body.

He had juſt fixed himſelf to his Mind, when, up comes his Companion with the Porringer and a Stool. He directly mounted the Stool, and, reaching up a ſpoonful of Broth to the Mouth of the Dead, with a firm and bold Voice he cried, Sup Man! why don't you Sup?

Scarce had theſe Words been uttered, when, fearful to hear! with a Tone deep as Hell and diſmal as the Grave, the Man in Gibbets replied—It i—is too ho—ot. And damn you, why don't you blow it then? rejoined the other.

Fr.
[83]

My Nerves will not admit of this for Fact. The Tale indeed is good, though ſuch an Inſtance of Intrepidity in any Mortal may be diſputable. But, ſhall we never return to our Story again?

Aut.

It matters not how far we travel from it, ſince the Magic of a Wiſh can bring us back in a twinkling.

CHAP. IV.

[84]

RUFFLED Linen, laced Hat, Silk Stockings, &c. had now been ordered, for Harry, with a new Suit of Cloaths, trim'd like thoſe of your Beau-Inſects, vulgarly called Butterflies. They were tried on, in the Preſence of his Parents, and highly approved by all, except Harry himſelf, who ſeemed, by his Fidgettings, to be ſomewhat diſguſted at this new Kind of Incumbrance. Harry, ſays my Lord, puts me in mind of the Son of Jeſſe in the Armour of Saul, he has not yet proved them. Well Harry, how do you like yourſelf? I don't know, not I, ſays Harry. But, Papa, can you tell me what theſe Things are for? In truth Harry, you poſe me. Won't People love me better, Sir? not a whit indeed Harry, replied my Lord. L—d help that little Fool's Head of thine, interpoſed my Lady, if People won't love thee, they'll reſpect thee the more. Fool's Head! repeated my Lord, upon my Soul, the Child has more Senſe than Half our Nobility.

Harry had been, now, near a Month with his Parents, and, as his Nurſe had not yet parted, he was tolerably amenable to Quality Government. However, he [85]pined in the Abſence of his Dada, as he called him, and daily importuned my Lord and Lady to be permitted to go and ſee him. For, as Harry's Heart told him that his bearded Dada loved him better than all the World, ſo Harry loved him better than three Worlds; for, he was ever deſirous of going three Times as far, in Affection and good Offices, as any one went for him.

At length, he obtained Conſent, and was conducted, by his Nurſe, in all his Finery, on a Viſit to this dear Dada.

Their meeting was accompanied by Tears of Joy on both Sides; when the old Gentleman, ſtruck with Concern at the Garb in which he ſaw his Darling, cried out, and who, my Dear, put this Fool's Coat upon my Child? Fool's Coat, Sir, ſays Harry; yes, my Love, it is worſe than all that; they were very naughty Doctors who have endeavoured to poiſon my Boy. There is not a Bit, of all this Lace and Ruffling, that is not full of rank Poiſons. I will tell you a Story my Harry.

There was, once upon a Time, a very good and a very clever Boy called Hercules. As he grew up, beſide his Prayers and his Book, he was taught to run, and leap; to ride, wreſtle, and cudgel; and tho' he was able to beat all [86]the Boys in the Pariſh, he never uſed to hurt or quarrel with any of them. He did not matter Cold, nor Hunger, nor what he eat, nor what he drank; nor how, nor where he lay; and he went always dreſſed in the Skin of a wild Beaſt, that could bear all Winds and Weathers, and that he could put on or off at Pleaſure, for he knew that his Dreſs was no Part of himſelf, and could neither add to him, nor take away any Thing from him.

When this brave Boy came to Man's Eſtate, he went about the World, doing Good in all Places; helping the Weak, and feeding the Hungry, and cloathing the Naked, and comforting thoſe that cried, and beating all thoſe that did Hurt or Wrong to others; and all good People loved him with their whole Hearts, and all naughty People feared him terribly.

But, O ſad and diſmal! a Lady, whom he had ſaved from great Hurt and Shame, made him a Preſent of a new Coat, which was called a Shirt, in thoſe Days, as they wore it next the Skin. And now, my Harry, take Notice. The Lady had covered this Coat, all over, with Laces, and with Rufflings, and with Beads of Glaſs, and ſuch other Fooleries; ſo that poor Hercules, looked juſt as fine, as you do now. And he turned him to this Side, [87]and he turned him to that Side, and he began to think more and better of himſelf, becauſe he had got this Fool's Coat upon him. And the Poiſon of it entered into his Body and into his Mind, and brought Weakneſs and Diſtempers upon the one and the other. And he grew ſo fond of it that he could not bear to have it put off. For he thought that, to part with it, would be to part with his Fleſh from his Bones. Neither would he venture out in the Rain, any more; nor box nor wreſtle with any Body, for fear of ſpoiling his fine Coat. So that in Time, he loſt the Love and the Praiſes of every Body; and all People ſcorned him, and pointed at him for a Fool and a Coxcomb, as he went by.

For ſome Time, after the old Gentleman had finiſhed his Story, the Child continued to gaze up at him, with fixed Eyes and open Mouth, as fearful of loſing any Syllable that he might utter. 'Till, recollecting himſelf, he cried out, O, this is a very ſad Caſe, indeed; I wiſh my Coat was burnt, ſo I do, but, don't fear for me Dada. Why, how then Harry? replied his Patron. Why, I may find a Trick for all this, Dada, I warrant, you never ſee me in this ugly Coat again.

[88] After this and ſome other Inſtructions and mutual Endearments, Nurſe preſs'd to be gone; and theſe two fond Friends were compelled to ſunder, with a Promiſe, on Harry's Part, of a ſpeedy Return.

For ſome Time after his Arrival at the Manſion Houſe, Harry appeared thoughtful, and greatly dejected, which they aſcribed to his parting with his old Friend; but Harry had Schemes in his Head that they were little able to fathom or gueſs at. Having peeped about, for ſome Time, he found a Knife, in a Window, which he inſtantly ſeized upon, and then, ſtole up with all poſſible Privacy, to his Apartment.

There he ſtript himſelf, in a Hurry, and, falling as quickly to work, began to cut and rip and rend away the Lacings of his Suit, without ſparing Cloth or Seam. While he was, thus, in the Heat and very Middle of his Buſineſs, he heard himſelf, repeatedly called on the Stairs, and hurrying on his Cloaths, to obey the Summons, he ran down to the Parlour with Half the Trimmings hanging in Geometry, Fritters, and Tatters about him.

The droll, and very extraordinary Figure that he cut, ſtruck all the Company [89]into utter Amazement. Having gazed on him, for ſome Time, in a kind of ſilent Stupor. Why Harry, cries my Lady, what's all this for? who abuſed you, my Child, who put you in this Pickle? come hither and tell me, who ſpoiled your Cloaths? I did, Madam. You did, Sirrah, cried my Lady, giving him a Shake, and how dare you ſpoil them? why, becauſe they wanted to ſpoil me, ſaid Harry. And who told you they would ſpoil you, Sirrah? I won't tell, ſaid Harry. I'll lay a Wager, cried my Lady, it was that old Rogue with the Beard; but I'll have him whipt for a Fool and a Knave out of the Pariſh. Pray, my Dear, be patient a little, ſaid his Lordſhip. Come here, Harry, and tell me the Truth, ſtoutly; and no Harm ſhall happen to you or your Dada with the Beard. Come, ſpeak, what Fault did he find with your Cloaths? Why, Sir, he ſaid, as how they would poiſon me. Poiſon you, my Dear; pray how was that? Why, Sir, he told me as how there was a little Maſter, call'd Herclus, and as how he was a mighty good Boy, and was cold and hungry, and almoſt naked, and did not matter, ſo as how he could do Good to every Body; and as how every Body loved him with all their Heart. And then, he told me, as how he got a mighty fine Coat, and looked here, and looked there, [90]and minded nothing but his Coat; and as how his Coat poiſon'd him, and would not let him do any more Good, and as how all the Boys then hated him, and piſs'd upon him, Sir — and as how — I believe, that's all, Sir —

Here, my Lord and Lady took ſuch a Chink of Laughing, that it was ſome Time before they could recover; while Harry looked abaſhed and diſconcerted. But my Lord, recollecting himſelf, took the Child on his Knee, and, warmly preſſing him to his Boſom, I muſt tell you, my Harry, ſaid he, as how you are a mighty good Boy, and as how your Dada with a Beard is a mighty good Dada, and has told you all that is right and true. And, that I will go, myſelf, one of theſe Days, and thank him in Perſon. Thank you, Sir, ſays Harry.

Well, Harry, ſaid my Lord, I promiſe that no one ſhall poiſon you any more, with my Conſent. Whereupon another new Suit was immediately appointed, of a Kind that ſhould fear no Weather, nor, in caſe of Dirt or Damage, draw upon Harry the Reſentment or Admonitions of his Mama.

Juſt as Dinner was ſerved up, Mr. Meekly entered and took his Seat. He [91]came in order to conciliate a late Difference between the Earl and Sir Standiſh Stately; and in this he found no manner of Difficulty, as my Lord was, by Nature, of a kindly Diſpoſition, and required no more than a firſt Advance to be reconciled to any Man.

During the Entertainment, Harry kept his Eyes fixed on Mr. Meekly; and, as ſoon as the Cloth was off, he roſe, went over to him, looked fondly in his Face, and took hold of his Hand with the Familiarity of an old Acquaintance.

Mr. Meekly, ſaid my Lord, my Son Harry pays you a very particular and very deſerved Compliment; he puts me in mind of that Sort of Inſtinct, by which a ſtrange Dog is always ſure to diſcover, and to apply to the moſt benevolent Perſon at Table. Indeed, my Lord, ſaid Mr. Meekly, (careſſing the Child) I know not, whether by Inſtinct, or by what other name to call my own Feelings; but certain it is that, the firſt Moment I ſaw him, in his little peaſant Petticoats, I found my Heart ſtrongly affected toward him.

In a ſhort Time my Lady retired, with the Children, and left the Earl and Mr. Meekly over a temperate Bottle. Mr. Meekly, ſaid my Lord, (taking him cordially [92]by the Hand) I rejoice at the Advantage of our late Acquaintance, or rather I repine that it was not earlier. I am greatly intereſted, Sir, in aſking you a few Queſtions, if I thought I might do it without Offence. Are you any way ſtraitened in your Circumſtances? — No, my Lord, — But, would you not wiſh them more affluent, would you not wiſh that your Power of doing Good were more extenſive, more anſwerable to the Benevolence of your own Inclinations? — I cannot ſay that I would, my Lord. I have upward of ſeven Hundred a Year clear Income; and that is fourteen Times more than I have Occaſion to expend. — It would be indelicate, replied the Earl, very indelicate to own that I am ſorry for your Proſperity; and yet I feel that I ſhould have been happy in your Diſtreſs, in the Power it would have given me to ſerve, to oblige you. I want a Friend, I want juſt ſuch a Friend as Mr. Meekly, and I know of no Price at which I would not gladly purchaſe him. — My Lord, I am yours, freely, affectionately yours, without Fee or Condition. Sir, rejoined my Lord, as I find that I cannot make out a Title to your particular Attachment, I am content to be taken into the general Circle of your Benevolence.

The World, Mr. Meekly, think me the happieſt of Men; bleſs'd in my Family, [93]in my Friends; with Health, Honours, Affluence; with the Power of gratifying every Wiſh that human Fancy can form! but alas! my Senſations are very far from affirming their Judgment of theſe Matters; and I will deſerve your Advice, your Conſolation, if you can afford it, by unboſoming myſelf to you without reſerve.

When I reflect on my paſt Life, I look on many Parts of it with Repentance, and on the Whole with Regret. Not that I wiſh the return of Pleaſures that I now deſpiſe, or of Years ſpent in a Manner that Virtue and common Senſe muſt equally diſapprove? but I am arrived at my Evening of Life, like a Sportſman who, having been in purſuit of Game all the Day, returns homeward, ſorrowful, ſatigued, and diſappointed. With every Advantage that could gratify either my Vanity or my Appetites, I cannot affirm that I ever taſted of true Enjoyment; and I now well perceive that I was kept from being miſerable, merely by Amuſement and Diſſipation.

As I had the Misfortune to be born to Title and a vaſt Eſtate, all People reſpected, in me, the Poſſeſſion of thoſe Objects which they themſelves were in purſuit of. I was conſequently beſet with Sycophants and Deceivers of all Sorts, and thereby, trained from my Infancy, to unavoidable [94]Prejudices, Errors, and falſe Eſtimates of every Thing. I was not naturally ill-diſpoſed, but I was perpetually ſeduced from all my better Tendencies.

Both my Parents died, before I arrived at thoſe Years wherein our Laws allow of any Title to Diſcretion. I had but the one Brother, O that dear Brother, how many Sighs he has coſt me! I was older than him by about ſeven Years, and this diſparity of our Age, together with the elevating Notion of my Birthright, gave me the authoritative Airs of a Father, without a Father's Tenderneſs toward him. This mutually prevented that Cordiality, that Sympathy, as I may ſay, by which Brothers ſhould be cemented during their Minority. And, when our Guardian, as I then judged, had ſo far betrayed his Truſt, as to bind my Brother apprentice to a Trader, and thereby to deprive him of all Title to Gentility. I looked upon him as a Branch cut off from the Family-Tree, and, as my Thoughts about him were accompanied by Coldneſs or Diſguſt, I forbore to make any Enquiry concerning him.

I am apt to think, however, that he was not equally unnatural on his Part; but, hearing of the diſſolute Life I led on my return from Travel, he might juſtly deem [95]me unworthy of his Acquaintance or Notice.

During the Time of my Intimacy with his late Majeſty and the Miniſters of his Pleaſures and Policy, a Servant brought me Word that a Gentleman, attended by a Number of the principal Citizens, waited for me in my Ante-chamber; whereupon I gave Orders for their immediate Introduction.

On their Entrance, I was awfully ſtruck with the Preſence of their Principal, with the Elegance of his Figure, the Nobleneſs of his Aſpect, and Eaſe of his Addreſs, and I felt myſelf drawn to him by a ſudden Kind of inſtinctive Attachment.

My Lord, ſays he, we come to wait upon you in the Name of the very reſpectable Body of the Citizens of London; ſome Infringements have been lately made on their City-Charter, and their firſt Application is to your Lordſhip, as they wiſh, above all others, to be obliged to you for their Redreſs.

They have been very diſcreet, ſaid I, in their choice of an Advocate. Their Demands muſt be exorbitant, if they fail of Succeſs while you are their Solicitor.

[96] This Paper, proceeded he, contains a clear Detail of their Rights and the Encroachments that have been made thereon. They are ſenſible of your Lordſhip's Intereſt with his Majeſty and the Miniſtry, and they humbly petition for your Favour and happy Influence in their Behalf.

Without Papers, I replied, or any Inducement ſave that of your own Requeſt, let me but know what I am to do, and I ſhall think myſelf truely honoured and obliged by your Commands.

My Lord, he rejoined, I do not wiſh to betray you into any miſtaken or unmerited Complaiſance. I am but a Trader, a Citizen of the lower Order.

I now felt myſelf bluſh with Shame and Diſappointment; I reſented my being deceived by the Dignity of his Appearance; and I was more particularly piqued by the ſarcaſtical kind of Smile with which he cloſed his Declaration. All confuſed, I looked down, and pretended to caſt my Eye over the Paper, in order to gain Time for Recollection. Having, at Intervals, muttered a few Words, ſuch as Charters, Grants, Privileges, Immunities, and ſo forth. I am not, ſaid I, an Enemy to the lower Ranks of Men; poor People muſt [97]live, and their Service, as well as Subordination is neceſſary to Society; but I confeſs I was always fond of thoſe ſumptuary Laws that confined the Degrees of Men to their reſpective Departments, and prevented Mechanics from confounding themſelves with Gentlemen.

My Lord, ſays he, with the moſt eaſy and provoking Unconcern, when you ſhall be pleaſed to look down from the Superiority of your Station, and to conſider Things and Perſons according to their Merits, you will not deſpiſe Some, merely for being of uſe to Others. The Wealth, Proſperity, and Importance of all this World is founded and erected on three living Pillars, the TILLER of the Ground, the MANUFACTURER and the MERCHANT. Of theſe, the Tiller is ſuppoſed to be the leaſt reſpectable, as he requires the leaſt of Genius, Invention, or Addreſs; and yet the Plowman Triptolemus was worſhipped as a God; and the Plowman Cincinnatus is ſtill held in as high Eſteem as any Peer of any Realm, ſave that of Great-Britain.

I have known, ſaid I, a Mob of ſuch Gods and Dictators ſomewhat dangerous at Times. I muſt be free to tell you, Miſter, that Matters are much changed ſince Princeſſes kept Sheep, and the Sons of [98]Kings were Cow-herds. The Ranks and Orders of Men are now appointed and known, and one Department muſt not preſume to break in upon the other. My Baker, Barber, Brewer, Butcher, Hatter, Hoſier, and Taylor, are, unqueſtionably, of Uſe, though I have not the Honour of being acquainted with one of them. And, hitherto, I have deemed it ſufficient to ſend my Servants to entertain and pay them their Bills, without admitting them to a Tete a Tete, as at preſent.

He now rejoined, with a little Warmth. My Lord, we pardon your Indelicacy, in conſideration of your Error. The venerable Body, now preſent, might be admitted to a Tete a Tete with the firſt Eſtate of this Kingdom, without any Condeſcenſion on the Part of Majeſty. And, would you allow yourſelf to be duely informed, I ſhould ſoon make you ſenſible that we have actually done you the Honour which we intended by this Viſit.

Permit me to repeat that the Wealth, Proſperity, and Importance of every Thing upon Earth ariſes from the TILLER, the MANUFACTURER and the MERCHANT; and that, as nothing is truely eſtimable, ſave in Proportion to its utility, theſe are, conſequently, very [99]far from being contemptible Characters. The Tiller ſupplies the Manufacturer, the Manufacturer ſupplies the Merchant, and the Merchant ſupplies the World with all its Wealth. It is thus that Induſtry is promoted, Arts invented and improved, Commerce extended, Superfluities mutually vended, Wants mutually ſupplied, that each Man becomes a uſeful Member of Society, that Societies become further of Advantage to each other, and that States are enabled to pay and dignify their upper Servants with Titles, rich Revenues, Principalities and Crowns.

The Merchant, above all, is extenſive, conſiderable, and reſpectable by his Occupation. It is he who furniſhes every Comfort, Convenience, and Elegance of Life; who carries off every Redundance, who fills up every Want; who ties Country to Country, and Clime to Clime, and brings the remoteſt Regions to Neighbourhood and Converſe; who makes Man to be literally the Lord of the Creation, and gives him an Intereſt in whatever is done upon Earth; who furniſhes to each the Product of all Lands, and the Labours of all Nations; and thus knits into one Family and weaves into one Web the Affinity and Brotherhood of all Mankind.

[100] I have no Quarrel, I cried, to the high and mighty my Lords the Merchants, if each could be humbly content with the Profits of his Profeſſion, without forming themſelves into Companies, excluſive of their Brethren, our itinerant Merchants and Pedlars. I confeſs myſelf an Enemy to the Monopolies of your charter'd Companies and City Corporations; and I can perceive no evil Conſequence, to the Public or the State, if all ſuch Aſſociations were this Inſtant diſſolved.

Permit me, he mildly replied, once for all, to ſet your Lordſhip right in this Matter. I am ſenſible that the Gentlemen of large landed Properties are apt to look upon themſelves as the Pillars of the State, and to conſider their Intereſts and the Intereſts of the Nation, as very little beholden or dependent on Trade; though the Fact is, that thoſe very Gentlemen would loſe nine Parts in ten of their yearly Returns, and the Nation nine Tenths of her yearly Revenues, if Induſtry and the Arts, (promoted as I ſaid by Commerce) did not raiſe the Products of Lands to tenfold their natural Value. The Manufacturer, on the other Hand, depends on the landed Intereſt for nothing ſave the material of his Craft; and the Merchant is wholely independent of all Lands, or rather he is the [101]general Patron thereof. I muſt further obſerve, to your Lordſhip, that this beneficent Profeſſion is by no means confined to Individuals, as you would have it. Large Societies of Men, nay mighty Nations may and have been Merchants. When Societies incorporate, for ſuch a worthy Purpoſe, they are formed as a Foetus within the Womb of the Mother, a Conſtitution within the general State or Conſtitution; their particular Laws and Regulations ought, always, to be conformable to thoſe of the National Syſtem; and, in that Caſe, ſuch Corporations greatly conduce to the Peace and good Order of Cities and large Towns, and to the general Power and Proſperity of the Nation.

A Nation that is a Merchant has no need of an Extent of Lands, as it can derive to itſelf Subſiſtance from all Parts of the Globe. Tyre was ſituated in a ſmall Iſland on the Coaſt of Phaenicia, and yet that ſingle City contained the moſt flouriſhing, opulent, and powerful Nation in the Univerſe; a Nation that long withſtood the united Forces of the three firſt Monarchies, brought againſt her by Nebuchadnezar and Alexander the Great.

The ſeven united Provinces do not contain Lands ſufficient for the Subſiſtance of one Third of their Inhabitants; but they [102]are a Nation of Merchants; the World furniſhes them with an Abundance of all good Things; by Commerce they have arrived at Empire; they have aſſumed to themſelves the Principality of the Ocean; and, by being Lords of the Ocean, are in a Meaſure become the Proprietors of all Lands.

Should England ever open her Eyes to her own Intereſts, ſhe will follow the ſame proſperous and ennobling Profeſſion; ſhe will conform to the Conſequences of her Situation. She will ſee that, without a Naval Pre-eminence, ſhe cannot be ſafe; and, without Trade, that her Naval Power cannot be ſupported. Her Glory will alſo flow from this ſure Source of her Intereſts, and a Sail-yard will become the higheſt Scepter of her Dignity. She will then find that a ſingle Triumph of her Flag will be more available, for her Proſperity, than the Conqueſt of the four Continents; that her Pre-eminence, by Sea, will carry and diffuſe her Influence over all Lands; and, that univerſal Influence is univerſal Dominion.

Avarice, my Lord, may pile; Robbery may plunder; new Mines may be opened; hidden Treaſures may be diſcovered; Gameſters may win Caſh; Conquerors [103]may win Kingdoms; but all ſuch Means of acquiring Riches are tranſient and determinable. While Induſtry and Commerce are the natural, the living, the never failing Fountains, from whence the Wealth of this World can alone be taught to flow.

And can you, cried I, have the Effrontery, to inſinuate a Preference, of yourſelf and your fellow Cits, to our Britiſh Nobles and Princes, who derive their Powers and Dignities from the ſtedfaſt Extent of their landed Poſſeſſions? Was it by Barter and Bargain that our Edwards and Henrys atchiev'd their Conqueſts on the Continent? or was it by Pedlars and Mechanics, think you, that the Fields of Creſſi, of Poictiers, and Agincourt are render'd immortal? Go, I continued, ſeek elſewhere for Redreſs of your inſignificant Grievances; we give little to ſturdy Beggars, but nothing to ſaucy Rivals.

Wholely kindled by this Invective, he caſt on me a fierce and menacing Regard; and, with a ſevere Accent, and a ſide Glance that ſhot Fire; when Courtiers (ſays he) acquire Common-Senſe, and that Lords ſhall have learn'd to behave themſelves like Gentlemen, I may do ſuch a one the Honour to acknowledge him for a Brother.

[104] Your Brother! exclaimed Mr. Meekly, your Brother, my Lord?—Yes, Mr. Meekly, my Brother, my amiable, my very amiable and honourable Brother, indeed. But, turning contemptuouſly from me, he inſtantly departed with his attending Citizens.

I ought to have followed, I ought to have ſtaid him. I ſhould have fallen upon his Neck. With my Tears and Carreſſes I ſhould have wrung a Pardon from him, and not have ſuffer'd him to leave me till by my Submiſſons I had obtained full Forgiveneſs. This, indeed, was my firſt Emotion. But the Recollection of my long and unnatural Neglect, my utter Diſregard of his Perſon and Concerns, now aggravated by my late Inſults, perſuaded me that a Reconciliation, on his Part, was impoſſible.

I remained diſconcerted, and greatly diſturbed I felt with what Pride and Tranſport I ſhould now have acknowledged, have courted, have claſped this Brother to my Boſom; but my Fancy repreſented him as Ice in my Arms, as ſhrinking and turning from me with Diſguſt and Diſdain. At Times, I formed a hundred Schemes toward recovering his Affections; but again, rejecting theſe as ineffectual, [105]I endeavoured to conſole myſelf for his Loſs, by conſidering his late Demeanour as exceeding faulty, and expreſſive of a Diſpoſition inſufferably proud and overbearing. My Heart, indeed, acknowledged how very lovely he was in his Perſon; but the Superiority of his Talents, and the Refinement of his Manners, gave him a Diſtinction that was not altogether ſo grateful.

All Day I kept my Apartment, in Diſpleaſure, at my Brother, myſelf, and the World. The next Morning I was informed that, the Moment he left me, he went to the Miniſter, who engaged, at his Inſtance, to have every Grievance that he complained of redreſſed to their extent. That the Miniſter had, afterwards, introduced him to his Majeſty in full Levee, that the King held him in long and familiar Converſation, and that all the Court was profuſe of their Admiration and Praiſes of Mr. Clinton.

This, alſo, was freſh Matter of Triumph to him, and Mortification to me. It was now evident that my Brother's Application to me was intended, merely, to do me peculiar Honour; and, in Return, ſaid I to myſelf, I have endeavoured to cover him with Confuſion and Diſgrace. Yet, when I underſtood that he had diſdained to mention me as his Brother, or [106]of his Blood; I alſo ſcorned to derive Luſtre from any Claim of Affinity with him; and I further felt that I could not forgive him the Reproaches which he conſtrained me to give myſelf in his behalf.

From that Time, I took great Pains to diſſipate or ſuppreſs thoſe uneaſy Senſations which the Remembrance of him gave me. But, after I had married and retired from the Glare and Buſtle of the World; and, more particularly, on the Birth of my firſt Child, when my Heart had entered into a new Sphere of domeſtic Feelings, this dear Brother returned with double Weight upon my Mind. Yet his Idea was no longer accompanied by Envy or Reſentment, but by an affectionate and ſweet, though paining, Remorſe.

I wrote him a Letter full of penitential Submiſſions, and of tender and atoning Prayers for Pardon and Reconcilement. But, alas, my Meſſenger returned with Tidings that, ſome Years paſt, he had withdrawn from Trade, had retired to France or Holland, had dropt all Correſpondence, and that no one in England knew whether he was dead or alive.

Ah, my Brother, my dear Brother! (I would often repeat to myſelf) has any Reverſe [107]of Fortune happened to you, my Brother? Perhaps ſome domeſtic Calamity; ſome heavy Diſtreſs, no doubt! and no Brother at Hand to conſole or ſhare your Afflictions. Return to me, divide my Heart, divide my Fortune with me and mine! Alas, Wretch that I am, you know not yet that you have a Brother, one deſerving of that Name. You know not that this Boſom of Flint is now humanized, and melted down in the Fervour of Affection toward you. You hate me, you deſpiſe me, my amiable Brother! How, how ſhall I make you ſenſible that my Heart is full of your Image, of Eſteem, of tendereſt Love for my lovely Harry Clinton?

I, again, ſent other Meſſengers in ſearch of Intelligence, I procured Letters to the Bankers and Merchants of principal Note abroad; but all my Solicitudes and Enquiries were equally fruitleſs.

The Grief, that this occaſioned, firſt taught me to reflect, and caſt a Shade over the Luſtre of every Object about me. The World no more appeared as that World which, formerly, had held out Happineſs to either Hand. I no longer beheld it thro' the Perſpectives of Curioſity or youthful Deſire; I had worn out all its Gayeties; I had exhauſted all its Delights, [108]for me it had nothing more to promiſe, or beſtow; and yet I ſaw no better Proſpect, no other Reſource.

Should I turn to Religion, a little Obſervation taught me that the Devotees, themſelves, were warm in purſuit of Objects, of which I was tired; that they were ſtill ſubject to the Paſſions and Deſires of the World; and were no way to be diſtinguiſhed from other Men, ſave by an unſociable Reſerve, or gloomy Caſt of Countenance.

May I venture to confeſs to you, Mr. Meekly, that, at Times of my Deſpondence, I dared to call the Juſtice and Wiſdom of Omnipotence into queſtion. Take this World, (ſaid I to myſelf) conſider it as it ſeems to ſtand, independent of any other, and no one living can aſſign a ſingle End, or Purpoſe, for which it could be made. Men are even as their Fellow-Inſects; they riſe to Life, exert their Lineaments, and flutter abroad during the Summer of their little Seaſon; then droop, die away, and are ſucceeded, and ſucceeded in an inſignificant Rotation. Even the firmeſt human Eſtabliſhments, the beſt labour'd Syſtems of Policy, can ſcarce boaſt a nobler Fate, or a longer Duration; the mightieſt States and Nations periſh, like Individuals; in one Leaf we read their [109]Hiſtory, we admire their Achievements, we are intereſted in their Succeſſes, but, proceed to the next, and no more than a Name is left; the Ninevehs and Babylons of Aſia are fallen, the Sparta and Athens of Greece are no more; and the Monuments that promiſed to endure to Eternity, are eraſed like the Mount of Sand which, Yeſterday, the Children caſt up on the Shore.

When I behold this ſtupendous Expanſe, ſo ſumptuouſly furniſhed with a Profuſion of Planets, and Luminaries, revolving in appointed Courſes, and diverſifying the Seaſons; I ſee a Work that is altogether worthy of a God. Again, when I deſcend to Earth, and look abroad upon the infinite Productions of Nature, upon Proviſions ſo amply anſwering to the Wants of every living Being, and on Objects and Organs ſo finely fitted to each other, I trace a complicated Maze of Wiſdom, Bounty, and Benevolence. But, when I ſee all theſe Beauties and Benefits counteracted by ſome adverſe and deſtructive Principle; when the Heavens gather their Clouds and roll their Thunders above, and the Earth begins to quake and open beneath us; when the Air, that ſeemed ſo late to be the Breath and Balm of Life, grows pregnant with a Variety of Peſts, Plagues and Poiſons; when Life itſelf is [110]found to be no other than the Store-houſe or Habitation of Death, and that all vegetable and animal Syſtems include within their Frame, the Principles of inevitable Diſtemper and Diſſolution: When additional to all theſe natural Miſchiefs, I conſider the Extent and Empire of moral Evil upon Earth; when I behold the wretched periſhable ſhort lived Animal, called Man, for the Value of ſome Matter of Property as tranſient as himſelf, induſtrious and ſtudious of the Deſtruction of his Species; when, not content with the Evils that Nature has entailed upon him, Man exerts all his Talents for multiplying and ſpeeding the Means of Perdition to Man; when I ſee half the World employed in puſhing the other Half from the Verge of Exiſtence, and then dropping after in an endleſs Succeſſion of Malevolence and Miſery; I cannot poſſibly reconcile ſuch Contraſts and Contradictions to the Agency, or even Permiſſion, of the one over ruling Principle of Goodneſs called GOD.

Could not Omniſcience foreſee ſuch Conſequences, at Creation? Unqueſtionably, ſaid Mr. Meekly.

Might he not have ordered Matters ſo, as to have prevented the Poſſibility of any [111]Degree of natural or moral Evil in his Univerſe?—I think he might, my Lord.—Why did he not, then, prevent them? to what End could he permit ſuch multiplied Malevolence and Miſery among his Creatures?—For Ends, certainly my Lord, infinitely worthy both of his Wiſdom and his Goodneſs.—I am deſirous it ſhould be ſo; but cannot conceive, cannot reach the Way or Means of compaſſing ſuch an Intention.

Can you not ſuppoſe, ſaid Mr. Meekly, that Evil may be admitted for accompliſhing the greater and more abundant Good? May not partial and temporary Malevolence and Miſery be finally productive of univerſal, durable, and unchangeable Beatitude? May not the Univerſe, even now, be in the Pangs of Travail, of Labour for ſuch a Birth, ſuch a bleſſed Conſummation?

It were, rejoined the Earl, as our Shakeſpear ſays, it were indeed a Conſummation devoutly to be wiſhed. But, might not Omnipotence have brought about a Conſummation equally good, without any Intervention of preceding Evil?—Had that been poſſible, my Lord, it would unqueſtionably have been effected. But if certain Relations ariſe between God and his Creatures, and between Man and Man [112]which could not ariſe ſave on the previous Suppoſition of Evil, without which, indeed, neither the Attributes of God himſelf, nor the Inſufficiency, Dependance, or Obligation of the Creature could have been duely diſcoverable throughout Eternity, then temporary Evil becomes indiſpenſably neceſſary to the Conſequence and Conſummation of the greateſt Good.

Your Notion, exclaimed the Earl, is great, amazing, truely glorious, and every Way worthy of a God who, in ſuch a Caſe, would be infinitely worthy of all Worſhip! Is this the Reaſon, Mr. Meekly, that what we all ſo earneſtly ſeek for is no where to be found, that no Portion or Taſte of Happineſs is to be had upon Earth?

I do not ſay ſo, my Lord; I think that a Man, even on Earth, may be occaſionally, nay durably, and exceedingly happy.

What, happy? durably, exceedingly happy? repeated the Earl. I was told that the Experience of Ages, that Philoſophy and even Divinity had agreed with Solomon in this, that all upon Earth was Vanity and Vexation of Spirit. If any may enjoy Happineſs, on this Side of the great Conſummation that you ſpeak of, I am perſuaded, Mr. Meekly, that you yourſelf are [113]the Man. Your Lips indeed ſay nothing of the Matter, but neither your Eyes nor your Aſpect can reſtrain the Expreſſion of ſome extraordinary Peace that abides within. O, ſay then, my dear, my eſtimable Friend, whence, how, by what Means may a Man arrive at Happineſs?—By getting out of himſelf, my Lord.

Out of himſelf, Mr. Meekly! you aſtoniſh me greatly. A Contradiction in Terms, unnatural, impoſſible!—God, himſelf, my Lord, cannot make a Man Happy in any other Way, either here, or hereafter.

It is, ſaid the Earl, an eſtabliſhed Maxim among all thinking Men, whether Divines or Philoſophers, that SELF-LOVE is the Motive to all human Actions. Virtue forbid! exclaim'd Mr. Meekly; all Actions are juſtly held, good or evil, baſe or honourable, deteſtable or amiable, merely according to their Motives. But, if the Motive is the ſame to all, there is an End, at once, to the Poſſibility of Virtue; the Cruel and the Kind, the Faithful and the Perfidious, the Proſtitute and the Patriot are confounded together.

Do not all Men, return'd the Earl, act agreeable to their own Propenſities and Inclinations? do they not Act ſo or ſo, [114]merely becauſe it pleaſes them ſo to act? and is not this Pleaſure the ſame Motive in all?—By no Means, my Lord, it never was nor can be the Motive in any. We muſt go a Queſtion deeper, to diſcover the ſecret Principle or Spring of Action. One Man is pleaſed to do Good, another is pleaſed to do Evil; now, whence is it that each is pleaſed with Purpoſes in their Nature ſo oppoſite and irreconcilable? Becauſe, my Lord, that the Propenſities or Motives to Action, in each, are as oppoſite and irreconcilable as the Actions themſelves; the one is prompted and therefore pleaſed with his Purpoſe of doing Evil to others, through ſome baſe Proſpect of Intereſt redounding to himſelf; the other is prompted and ſpurred, and therefore pleaſed with his Purpoſe of endangering his Perſon or ſuffering in his Fortune, through the benevolent Proſpect of the Good that ſhall thereby redound to Others.

Pleaſure is, itſelf, an Effect, and cannot be the Cauſe, or Pinciple, or Motive to any Thing; it is an agreeable Senſation that ariſes, in any Animal, on its meeting or contemplating an Object that is ſuited to its Nature. As far as the Nature of ſuch an Animal is evil, evil Objects can alone affect it with Pleaſure; as far as the Nature of ſuch an Animal is good, the [115]Objects muſt be good whereby its Pleaſures are excited.

When Damon was ſentenced, by Dionyſius of Syracuſe, to die on ſuch a Day; he pray'd Permiſſion, in the Interim, to retire to his own Country, to ſet the Affairs of his diſconſolate Family in order. This the Tyrant intended moſt peremptorily to refuſe, by granting it, as he conceived, on the impoſſible Conditions of his procuring ſome one to remain, as Hoſtage for his Return, under equal Forfeiture of Life. Pythias heard the Conditions, and did not wait for an Application on the Part of Damon, he inſtantly offer'd himſelf to Durance in the Place of his Friend, and Damon was accordingly ſet at Liberty.

The King and all his Courtiers were aſtoniſhed at this Action, as they could not account for it on any allowed Principles. Self-Intereſt, in their Judgment, was the ſole Mover of human Affairs; and they looked on Virtue, Friendſhip, Benevolence, Love of Country, and the like, as Terms invented by the Wiſe to impoſe upon the Weak. They, therefore, imputed this Act of Pythias to the Extravagance of his Folly, to the Defect of Head, merely, and no way to any Virtue or good Quality of Heart.

[116] When the Day of the deſtined Execution drew near, the Tyrant had the Curioſity to viſit Pythias in his Dungeon. Having reproached him for the romantic Stupidity of his Conduct, and rallied him, ſome Time, on his Madneſs in preſuming that Damon, by his Return, would prove as great a Fool as himſelf; my Lord, ſaid Pythias, with a firm Voice and noble Aſpect, I would it were poſſible that I might ſuffer a thouſand Deaths, rather than my Friend ſhould fail in any Article of his Honour. He cannot fail therein, my Lord. I am as confident of his Virtue as I am of my own Exiſtence. But, I pray, I beſeech the Gods to preſerve the Life and Integrity of my Damon together. Oppoſe him, ye Winds! prevent the Eagerneſs and Impatience of his honourable Endeavours! and ſuffer him not to arrive till, by my Death, I have redeemed a Life, a thouſand Times of more Conſequence, more Eſtimation, than my own, more eſtimable to his lovely Wife, to his precious little Innocents, to his Friends, to his Country. O, leave me not to die the worſt of Deaths in my Damon!

Dionyſius was confounded and awed by the Dignity of theſe Sentiments, and by the Manner, (ſtill more ſentimental) in which they were uttered; he felt his Heart [117]ſtruck by a ſlight Senſe of invading Truth, but it ſerved rather to perplex than to undeceive him. He heſitated, he would have ſpoken, but he looked down, and retired in Silence.

The fatal Day arrived. Pythias was brought forth, and walked, amidſt the Guard, with a ſerious but ſatisfied Air, to the Place of Execution.

Dionyſius was already there. He was exalted on a moving Throne that was drawn by ſix white Horſes, and ſat penſive and attentive to the Demeanour of the Priſoner.

Pythias came. He vaulted lighty on the Scaffold; and, beholding for ſome Time the Apparatus of his Death, he turned with a pleaſed Countenance and addreſſed the Aſſembly.

My Prayers are hear'd, he cried, the Gods are propitious! You know, my Friends, that the Winds have been contrary till Yeſterday. Damon could not come, he could not conquer Impoſſibilities; he will be here To-morrow, and the Blood which is ſhed to Day ſhall have ranſomed the Life of my Friend. O, could I eraſe, from your Boſoms, every Doubt, every mean Suſpicion of the Honour [118]of the Man, for whom I am about to ſuffer; I ſhould go to my Death, even as I would to my Bridal. Be it ſufficient, in the mean Time, that my Friend will be found noble, that his Truth is unimpeachable, that he will ſpeedily approve it, that he is now on his Way, hurrying on, accuſing himſelf, the adverſe Elements, and the Gods. But I haſte to prevent his Speed; Executioner, to your Office!

As he pronounced the laſt Words, a Buzz began to ariſe among the remoteſt of the People. A diſtant Voice was heard. The Croud caught the Words; and, ſtop, ſtop the Execution! was repeated by the whole Aſſembly.

A Man came at full Speed. The Throng gave way to his Approach. He was mounted on a Steed of Foam. In an Inſtant he was off his Horſe, on the Scaffold, and held Pythias ſtraitly embraced.

You are ſafe, he cried, you are ſafe, my Friend, my Beloved, the Gods be praiſed, you are ſafe! I now have nothing but Death to ſuffer, and I am delivered from the Anguiſh of thoſe Reproaches which I gave myſelf, for having endangered a Life ſo much dearer than my own.

[119] Pale, cold, and half Speechleſs in the Arms of his Damon, Pythias replied in broken Accents,—Fatal Haſte!—cruel Impatience!—what envious Powers have wrought Impoſſibilities in your Favour?—But, I will not be wholely diſappointed—Since I cannot die to ſave, I will not ſurvive you.

Dionyſius heard, beheld, and conſidered all with Aſtoniſhment. His Heart was touch'd. His Eyes were opened; and he could no longer refuſe his aſſent to Truths ſo inconteſtably approved by their Facts.

He deſcended from his Throne. He aſcended the Scaffold. Live, live ye incomparable Pair! he exclaimed. Ye have borne unqueſtionable Teſtimony to the Exiſtence of Virtue, and that Virtue equally evinces the Certainty of the Exiſtence of a God to reward it. Live happy, live renowned! and, O, form me by your Precepts, as ye have invited me by your Example, to be worthy of the Participation of ſo ſacred a Friendſhip.

YOU bring your Arguments quite home, Mr. Meekly, ſaid the Earl; the Underſtanding cannot reject what the Heart ſo ſenſibly feels. My Soul deeply acknowledges the Exiſtence of Virtue, with its eſſential [120]and inherent Difference from Vice, and this Difference, I acknowledge, muſt as neceſſarily be founded in the Difference of the Principles from whence they proceed; but, what thoſe Principles are I know not; and I am equally a Stranger to what you intend by a Man's getting out of himſelf in order to Happineſs. What am I to underſtand by the Term SELF, Mr. Meekly.

Every Particle of Matter, my Lord, has a SELF or diſtinct Identity, inaſmuch as it cannot be any other Particle of Matter. Now, while it continues in this its State of SELFISHNESS or abſolute Diſtinction, it is utterly uſeleſs and inſignificant, and is to the Univerſe as tho' it were not. It has however a Principle of Attraction (analogous or anſwerable to Deſire in Mind) whereby it endeavours to derive to itſelf the Powers and Advantages of all other Portions of Matter. But when the DIVINE INTELLIGENCE hath harmonized certain Quantities of ſuch diſtinct Particles into certain animal or vegetable Syſtems, this Principle of Attraction in each is overcome, for each becomes attracted and drawn as it were from SELF, each yields up its Powers to the Benefit of the Whole, and then, and then only, becomes capable and productive of Shape, [121]Colouring, Beauty, Flowers, Fragrance, and Fruits.

Be pleaſed now to obſerve, my Lord, that this Operation in Matter is no other than a Manifeſtation of the like Proceſs in Mind; and that no Soul was ever capable of any Degree of Virtue or Happineſs ſave ſo far as it is drawn away, in its Affections, from SELF; ſave ſo far as it is engaged in wiſhing, contriving, endeavouring, promoting, and rejoicing in the Welfare and Happineſs of others.

It is therefore that the Kingdom of Heaven is moſt aptly, and moſt beautifully, compared to a Tree bearing Fruit and diffuſing Odours, whoſe Root is the PRINCIPLE of infinite Benevolence, and whoſe Braches are the bleſſed Members, receiving conſummate Beatitude from the Act of Communication.

I think, indeed, ſaid the Earl, that I can form ſome Sort of a Notion of ſuch a Society in Heaven. But it would poſe you, Mr. Meekly, to exemplify your Poſition from any Body of Men that ever were upon Earth.

Pray pardon me, my Lord, the States of Sparta and Rome, derived their Luſtre and Power, their whole Preeminence and [122]Praiſe, from this Principle of Communication, which, in them, was called Love of Country. But this beatifying Principle was ſtill more eminently inſtanced in the Society of the Church of Jeruſalem, who had all Things in common; who imparted their Poſſeſſions to all Men, as every Man had need; and, thence, did eat their common Bread with Gladneſs and Singleneſs of Heart, praiſing God, and having Favour with all People.

You ſay, my Lord, that you can form a Notion of ſome ſuch Excellence in Heaven; but I can form no Notion of any Excellence more admirable, in Heaven itſelf, than when a Man, in his preſent State of frail and depraved Nature, overbears his perſonal Fears of Pain and Mortality, and yields up his Body to aſſured Perdition, for public Good, or for the ſake of thoſe whom it delighteth him to preſerve.

I ſhall paſs over the Inſtances of the Roman Regulus and the Decii, as alſo that of Leonidas and his three Hundred Spartans who devoted their Lives for the Liberties of Greece; was that Candidate leſs a Hero who, being rejected from being one of theſe Self-devoted, exclaimed, the Gods be praiſed that there are three Hundred, in Sparta, better Men than myſelf! But, I come nearer our own Times and our [123]own Nation, to exemplify this Diſregard of SELF, the vital Source and Principle of every Virtue, in ſix Mechanics or Craftſmen of the City of Calais.

Edward the Third, after the Battle of Creſſy, laid Siege to Calais. He had fortified his Camp in ſo impregnable a Manner, that all the Efforts of France proved ineffectual to raiſe the Siege, or throw Succours into the City. The Citizens however, under the Conduct of Count Vienne their gallant Governour, made an admirable Defence. Day after Day the Engliſh effected many a Breach which they repeatedly expected to ſtorm by Morning; but, when Morning appeared, they wonder'd to behold new Ramparts raiſed, nightly erected out of the Ruins which the Day had made.

France had now put the Sickle into her ſecond Harveſt ſince Edward with his victorious Army ſat down before the Town. The Eyes of all Europe were intent on the Iſſue. The Engliſh made their Approaches and Attacks without Remiſſion; but the Citizens were as obſtinate in repelling all their Efforts.

At length, Famine did more for Edward than Arms. After the Citizens had devoured [124]the lean Carcaſſes of their ſtarved Cattle, they tore up old Foundations and Rubbiſh in ſearch of Vermin. They fed on boiled Leather and the Weeds of exhauſted Gardens, and a Morſel of damaged Corn was accounted Matter of Luxury.

In this Extremity they reſolved to attempt the Enemy's Camp. They boldly ſallied forth; the Engliſh joined Battle; and, after a long and deſperate Engagement, Count Vienne was taken Priſoner; and the Citizens, who ſurvived the Slaughter, retired within their Gates.

On the Captivity of the Governour, the Command devolved upon Euſtace Saint Pierre, the Mayor of the Town, a Man of mean Birth but of exalted Virtue.

Euſtace now found himſelf under the neceſſity of capitulating and offered to deliver, to Edward, the City, with all the Poſſeſſions and Wealth of the Inhabitants, provided he permitted them to depart with Life and Liberty.

As Edward had long ſince expected to aſcend the Throne of France, he was exaſperated, to the laſt Degree, againſt theſe People, whoſe ſole Valour had defeated his warmeſt Hopes; he therefore determined to take an exemplary Revenge, though [125]he wiſhed to avoid the Imputation of Cruely. He anſwered, by Sir Walter Mauny, that they all deſerved capital Puniſhment as obſtinate Traitors to him, their true, and natural Sovereign. That, however, in his wonted Clemency, he conſented to pardon the Bulk of the Plebeians, provided they would deliver up to him ſix of their principal Citizens, with Halters about their Necks, as Victims of due Atonement for that Spirit of Rebellion with which they had enflamed the vulgar Herd.

All the Remains of this deſolate City were convened in the great Square, and, like Men arraign'd at a Tribunal from whence there was no Appeal, expected with beating Hearts the Sentence of their Conqueror.

When Sir Walter had declared his Meſage, Conſternation and pale Diſmay was impreſſed on every Face. Each looked upon Death as his own inevitable Lot; for, how ſhould they deſire to be ſaved at the Price propoſed? whom had they to deliver ſave Parents, Brothers, Kindred, or valiant Neighbours who had ſo often expoſed their Lives in their Defence? To a long and dead Silence deep Sighs and Groans ſucceeded; till Euſtace St. Pierre, [126]getting up to a little Eminence, thus addreſſed the Aſſembly.

My Friends, we are brought to great Straits this Day. We muſt either ſubmit to the Terms of our cruel and enſnaring Conqueror; or yield up our tender Infants, our Wives, and chaſte Daughters to the bloody and brutal Luſts of the violating Soldiery.

We well know what the Tyrant intends, by his ſpecious Offers of Mercy. It will not ſatiate his Vengeance to make us merely miſerable, he would alſo make us criminal, he would make us contemptible; he will grant us Life on no Condition ſave that of our being unworthy of it.

Look about you, my Friends, and fix your Eyes on the Perſons, whom you wiſh to deliver up as the Victims of your own Safety. Which of theſe would ye appoint to the Rack, the Axe, or the Halter? Is there any here who has not watched for you, who has not fought for you, who has not bled for you? Who, through the length of this inveterate Siege, has not ſuffered Fatigues and Miſeries, a thouſand Times worſe than Death, that you and yours might ſurvive to Days of Peace and [127]Proſperity? Is it your Preſervers, then, whom you would deſtine to Deſtruction? you will not, you cannot do it. Juſtice, Honour, Humanity make ſuch a Treaſon impoſſible.

Where then is our Reſource? is there any Expedient left, whereby we may avoid Guilt and Infamy on the one Hand, or the Deſolation and Horrours of a ſacked City on the other? there is, my Friends, there is one Expedient left; a gracious, an excellent, a Godlike Expedient! Is there any here to whom Virtue is dearer than Life? Let him offer himſelf an Oblation for the Safety of his People! He ſhall not fail of a bleſſed Approbation from that Power, who offer'd up his only Son for the Salvation of Mankind.

He ſpoke—but a univerſal Silence enſued. Each Man looked around for the Example of that Virtue and Magnanimity, in others, which all wiſhed to approve in themſelves, though they wanted the Reſolution.

At length Saint Pierre reſumed—‘It had been baſe in me, my fellow Citizens to propoſe any Matter of Damage, to others, which I myſelf had not been willing to undergo in my own Perſon. [128]But I held it ungenerous to deprive any Man of that Preference and Eſtimation which might attend a firſt Offer, on ſo ſignal an Occaſion. For I doubt not but there are many here as ready, nay more zealous of this Martyrdom than I can be, however Modeſty and the Fear of imputed Oſtentation may withold them from being foremoſt in exhibiting their Merits.’

‘Indeed, the Station, to which the Captivity of Lord Vienne has unhappily raiſed me, imparts a Right to be the firſt in giving my Life for your Sakes. I give it freely, I give it chearfully; who comes next?’

Your Son! exclaimed a Youth, not yet come to Maturity. — ‘Ah my Child! cried Saint Pierre, I am, then, twice ſacrificed. — But, no — I have rather begotten thee a ſecond Time. — Thy Years are few but full, my Son; the Victim of Virtue has reached the utmoſt Purpoſe and Goal of Mortality. Who next, my Friends? — This is the Hour of Heroes.’ — Your Kinſman, cried John D'Aire! your Kinſman, cried James Wiſſant! your Kinſman, cried Peter Wiſſant! — Ah, exclaimed Sir Walter Mauny, burſting into Tears, why was I not a Citizen of Calais?

[129] The ſixth Victim was ſtill wanting, but was quickly ſupplied, by Lot, from Numbers who were now emulous of ſo ennobling an Example.

The Keys of the City were then delivered to Sir Walter. He took the ſix Priſoners into his Cuſtody. He ordered the Gates to be opened, and gave Charge to his Attendants to conduct the remaining Citizens, with their Families, through the Camp of the Engliſh.

Before they departed, however, they deſired Permiſſion to take their laſt Adieu of their Deliverers — What a Parting, what a Scene! They crouded with their Wives and Children about Saint Pierre and his fellow Priſoners. They embraced, they clung around, they fell proſtrate before them. They groaned, they wept aloud; and the joint Clamour of their Mourning paſſed the Gates of the City and was heard throughout the Camp.

The Engliſh, by this Time, were appriſed of what paſſed within Calais. They heard the Voice of Lamentation, and their Souls were touched with Compaſſion. Each of the Soldiers prepared a Portion of their own Victuals to welcome and entertain the half famiſhed Inhabitants; and [130]they loaded them with as much as their preſent Weakneſs was able to bear, in order to ſupply them with Suſtenance by the Way.

At length, Saint Pierre and his fellow Victims appeared under the conduct of Sir Walter and a Guard. All the Tents of the Engliſh were inſtantly emptied. The Soldiers poured from all Parts, and arranged themſelves on each Side, to behold, to contemplate, to admire this little Band of Patriots as they paſſed. They bowed down to them on all Sides. They murmured their applauſe of that Virtue which they could not but revere, even in Enemies. And they regarded thoſe Ropes, which they had voluntarily aſſumed about their Necks, as Enſigns of greater Dignity than that of the Britiſh Garter.

As ſoon as they had reached the Preſence, Mauny! ſays the Monarch, are theſe the principal Inhabitants of Calais? They are, ſays Mauny, they are not only the principal Men of Calais, they are the principal Men of France, my Lord, if Virtue has any Share in the Act of ennobling. Were they delivered peaceably, ſays Edward; was there no Reſiſtance, no Commotion among the People? Not in the leaſt, my Lord; the People would all have periſhed, rather than have delivered the [131]leaſt of theſe to your Majeſty. They are Self-delivered, Self-devoted, and come to offer up their ineſtimable Heads as an ample Equivalent for the Ranſom of Thouſands.

Edward was ſecretly piqued at this Reply of Sir Walter, but, he knew the Privilege of a Britiſh Subject, and ſuppreſſed his Reſentment. Experience, ſays he hath ever ſhewn that Lenity only ſerves to invite People to new Crimes. Severity, at Times, is indiſpenſably neceſſary to deter Subjects into Submiſſion by Puniſhment and Example. Go, he cried to an Officer, lead theſe Men to Execution. Your Rebellion, continued he, addreſſing himſelf to Saint Pierre, your Rebellion againſt me, the natural Heir of your Crown, is highly aggravated by your preſent Preſumption and Affront of my Power.—We have nothing to aſk of your Majeſty, ſaid Euſtace, ſave what you cannot refuſe us.—What is that?—Your Eſteem, my Lord, ſaid Euſtace, and went out with his Companions.

At this Inſtant, a Sound of Triumph was hear'd throughout the Camp. The Queen had juſt arrived, with a powerful Reinforcement of thoſe gallant Soldiers, at the Head of whom ſhe had conquer'd Scotland, and taken their King Captive.

[132] Sir Walter Mauny flew to receive her Majeſty, and briefly inform'd her of the Particulars reſpecting the ſix Victims.

As ſoon as She had been welcomed by Edward and his Court, She deſir'd a private Audience. My Lord, ſaid She, the Queſtion I am to enter upon is not touching the Lives of a few Mechanics; it reſpects a Matter, more eſtimable than the Lives of all the Natives of France, it reſpects the Honour of the Engliſh Nation, it reſpects the Glory of my Edward, my Huſband, my King.

You think you have ſentenced Six of your Enemies to Death. No, my Lord, they have ſentenced themſelves, and their Execution would be the Execution of their own Orders, not the Orders of Edward.

They have behaved themſelves worthily, they have behaved themſelves greatly, I cannot but reſpect, while I envy, while I hate them, for leaving us no Share in the Honour of this Action, ſave that of granting a poor and indiſpenſable Pardon.

I admit they have deſerved every Thing that is evil at your Hands. They have proved the moſt inveterate and efficacious of your Enemies. They, alone, have withſtood [133]the rapid Courſe of your Conqueſts, and have witheld from You the Crown to which You were born. Is it therefore that You would reward them? that you would gratify their Deſires, that you would indulge their Ambition, and enwreath them with everlaſting Glory and Applauſe?

But, if ſuch a Death would exalt Mechanics over the Fame of the moſt illuſtrious Heroes, how would the Name of my Edward, with all his Triumphs and Honours be tarniſhed thereby! Would it not be ſaid that Magnanimity and Virtue are grown odious in the Eyes of the Monarch of Britain? And that the Objects, whom he deſtines to the Puniſhment of Felons, are the very Men who deſerve the Praiſe and Eſteem of Mankind The Stage, on which they ſhould ſuffer, would be to them a Stage of Honour, but a Stage of Shame to Edward, a Reproach to his Conqueſts, a dark and indelible Diſgrace to his Name.

No, my Lord. Let us rather diſappoint the ſaucy Ambition of theſe Burghers, who wiſh to inveſt themſelves with Glory at our Expence. We cannot, indeed, wholely deprive them of the merit of a Sacrifice ſo nobly intended; but we may cut them ſhort of their Deſires; in the Place of that Death, by which their Glory would be conſummate, let us bury them under Gifts, [134]let us put them to Shame with Praiſes; we ſhall thereby defeat them of that popular Opinion which never fails to attend thoſe who ſuffer in the Cauſe of Virtue.

I am convinced; you have prevailed; be it ſo, cryed Edward, prevent the Execution; have them inſtantly before us!

They came, when the Queen, with an Aſpect and Accents diffuſing Sweetneſs, thus beſpoke them.

Natives of France, and Inhabitants of Calais, Ye have put us to vaſt Expence of Blood and Treaſure in the Recovery of our juſt and natural Inheritance; but, you acted up to the beſt of an erroneous Judgment, and we admire and honour in you that Valour and Virtue, by which we are ſo long kept out of our rightful Poſſeſſions.

You noble Burghers, you excellent Citizens! though you were tenfold the Enemies of our Perſon and our Throne, we can feel nothing, on our Part, ſave Reſpect and Affection for You. You have been ſufficiently teſted. We looſe your Chains, we ſnatch You from the Scaffold; and we thank You for that Leſſon of Humiliation which you teach us, when you ſhew us that Excellence is not of Blood, of Title, or Station; that Virtue gives a Dignity ſuperior to that of [135]Kings; and that Thoſe, whom the Almighty informs with Sentiments like yours, are juſtly and eminently raiſed above all human Diſtinctions.

You are now free to depart to your Kinsfolk, your Countrymen, to all Thoſe whoſe Lives and Liberties You have ſo nobly redeemed, provided you refuſe not to carry with You the due Tokens of our Eſteem.

Yet, we would rather bind You, to ourſelves, by every endearing Obligation; and for this Purpoſe, we offer to You your Choice of the Gifts and Honours that Edward has to beſtow. Rivals for Fame, but always Friends to Virtue, we wiſh that England were entitled to call You her Sons.

Ah my Country, exclaimed Saint Pierre, it is now that I tremble for You. Edward could only win your Cities, but Philippa conquers Hearts.

Brave Saint Pierre, ſaid the Queen, wherefore look you ſo dejected?—Ah Madam! replied Saint Pierre, when I meet with ſuch another Opportunity of dying, I ſhall not regret that I ſurvived this Day.

Here a long Pauſe enſued. At length the Earl recollected himſelf. Mr. Meekly, ſais he, You have now proved to me your [136]Poſition more effectually, more convincingly, than all the Powers of Ratiocination could poſſibly do. While you related the Story of thoſe divine Citizens, I was imperceptibly ſtolen away and won entirely from Self. I entered into all their Intereſts, their Paſſions, and Affections; and was wrapt, as it were, into a new World of delightful Senſibilites. Is this what you call Virtue, what you call Happineſs?

A good deal of it, my Lord. There are in Nature but two Kinds of Self; in other Words, there are but two Sorts of Wills in the Univerſe; the Will of infinite Wiſdom, of infinite Benevolence, going forth in Beauty and Beatitude on all Creatures; And the Will of the Creature, deſiring, attracting, envying, coveting, and rending all Things, from All, to its own Intereſt and Advantage. In the firſt Will ſubſiſts all poſſible Good, from the Second ariſes all poſſible Evil; and did not the firſt Will, in ſome Meaſure, inform and meliorate the Second, the Will of every Creature would be an Iſhmael, his Hand would be againſt every One, and every One's Hand againſt him, and there would be nothing but Strife and Diſtraction, Hatred, Horrour, and Miſery throughout the Creation.

Hence it follows that, as there is but one Will, from Eternity, infinitely wiſe [137]to diſcern what is beſt throughout the Univerſe, infinitely good to deſire the Accompliſhment of what is beſt, and infinitely powerful to put what is beſt in Execution; every Will that is not inform'd by this ONE WILL, muſt of neceſſity act in Ignorance, in Blindneſs, and Error. I will further affirm that every Act of every Will, that is not informed by the ONE WILL of GOODNESS muſt, of equal neceſſity, be the Act of Malevolence.

I do not ſee the neceſſity of that, replied the Earl. I well perceive that God can give to intelligent Beings an Exiſtence or Identity diſtinct from himſelf, for I ſee that he has done it. What ſhould therefore prevent him from giving Qualities as diſtinct from himſelf as the Eſſence? why might he not impart, to any limited Degree, Capacity, Diſcernment, Power, Wiſdom, and Goodneſs? Might not ſuch a Being inſtantly perceive, to a vaſt Extent, the Relations of Things, with their ſeveral Fitneſſes and Diſagreements? would he not conſequently be enamoured of what was right and beautiful? would he not act agreeable to ſuch a juſt Approbation? and would not ſuch Actions be fitly accounted the Act of Virtue?

At this Inſtant a Meſſenger arrived on the Spur. He brought word to Mr. Meekly [138]that his Friend, Mr. Huſbands, was taken ſuddenly ill and earneſtly requeſted to ſee him directly; whereupon Mr. Meekly, who preferred any Matter of Charity to all other Conſiderations, immediately got up, made a ſilent Bow and vaniſhed.

TO RETURN to our Hero. As ſoon as he was new rigged, he preſs'd for another Viſit to his Patron; who received him, with accuſtomed Tenderneſs, but greatly wonder'd at his Peaſant Dreſs. Nurſe, then, recited to him the whole Adventure of the fritter'd Robeings. Whereat, the old Gentleman, in a manner devoured him with the Eagerneſs of his Careſſes.

When Nurſe and Harry were departed, he called to him his old Domeſtic. James, ſays he, with a Tear yet ſtanding in his Eye, I can no longer live without the Company of this dear Child, haſten, therefore, the Orders that I have already given you, and let all Things be in Readineſs for the firſt Opportunity. The Domeſtic, who had caught the filent Habit of his Maſter, with a Bow, aſſented, and retired.

Autumn was now advanced, and Lord Dickey, with his Brother, a Number of little Aſſociates, and an attending Footman, got leave to go to the Copſe, a [139]Nutting. As the Children were perfectly acquainted with the Way, the Servant deſired to ſtay behind, a while, in order to provide Hooks for pulling down the Branches. This was granted; and forth they all iſſued in high Chat and Spirits.

The Copſe lay, at ſome Diſtance, on one Side of the Park behind the Manſion-Houſe; but, when they had nearly approached the Place of their Deſtination, Harry miſſed a Garter, and, promiſing ſpeedily to rejoin his Companions, went back to ſeek it.

In the mean Time, his Aſſociates, on entering the Wood, met with another little Poſſe of the Village Fry, who were on their Return, one of whom carried a Bag of Nuts that ſeem'd bulkier than the Bearer. So, Gentlemen, ſays Lord Dickey, where are you going? Why, Home, where ſhould we go? ſays a little Boor, ſullenly. And, pray, what have you been doing, ſays the Lord. Gueſs, ſays the Boor. Is it Nuts that you have got in that Bag? demanded the Lord. Aſk, To-morrow; anſwered the Boor. Sirrah, ſais Dickey, a little provoked, how dare you to come and pull Nuts here, without our Leave? Why, as for that, Maſter Dickey, replied the other, I know you well enough, and I wouldn't aſk your Leave, an' you were [140]twenty Lords, not I. Sirrah, ſays Dickey, I have a great Mind to take your Nuts from you, and to give you as good a Beating, into the Bargain, as ever you got in your Life. As for that, Maſter Dickey, coolly anſwered the Villager, you muſt do Both or Neither. Here I lay down my Nuts between us; and now come any Two of your Watergruel Regiment, one down t'other come on, and if I don't give ye your Belly fulls, why, then, take my Nuts, and welcome, to make up the Want.

This gallant Invitation was accepted, on the Spot. Lord Richard choſe his Companion in Arms; and Both appeared quite fluſh and confident of Victory. For, though neither of them had been verſed in the Gymnaſtic Exerciſes, they didn't want Courage and they knew that the Challenger was their Inferior in Strength and in Years.

But, unhappily for theſe two Champions of Quality, Tommy Truck, their Adverſary, had, like Harry, been a Bruiſer, from two Years old and upward; and was held, in Veneration, as their Leader, and their Chief, by many who were his Superiors in Age and Stature.

[141] Lord Richard began the Aſſault, but, was down in a Twinkling. To him his Friend ſucceeded, but, with no better Fortune. A Swing or Trip of Tommy's ſent them, inſtantly, as Alcides ſent Antaeus, to gather Strength from their Mother-Earth. And, though theſe Summer Heroes, like the young Roman Nobility at the Battle of Pharſalia, were ſolely intent on defending their pretty Faces from Annoyance, yet Tommy, at the third Turn, had bloodied them, Both.

Harry, who was now on his Return, perceived the Engagement, and, running up, and, ruſhing between the Combatants, interpoſed, with a Voice of Authority, and parted the Fray.

Having enquired, and duely informed himſelf of the Merits of the Caſe, he, firſt turned him to Lord Richard, and ſaid, O, Brother Dickey, Brother Dickey, you ought not to hinder poor Boys from pulling a few dirty Nuts, what ſignifies 'em? Then, turning to the Challenger; his old Acquaintance; Tommy, ſays he, did you know that Dickey was my Brother? Yes, ſays Tommy, rudely, and what tho' of I did. O, nothing at all, ſays Harry, but I want to ſpeak with you, Tommy. Whereupon he took the Conqueror under the Arm, and walked away, with him, very [142]lovingly, in all Appearance, looking about to take Care that none of the Boys follow'd him.

Mean Time, the little Gentry threw out their Invectives, in Profuſion, againſt our departed Hero. I think, ſays one, that Maſter Harry had as much to blame in Tommy as Lord Dickey. Ay, ſays another, one would think he might as well have taken his Brother's Part, as that Blackguard's. Indeed, it was very naughty of him, ſays a Third. For my Part, ſays a Fourth, I never will have any Thing more to ſay to him.

While, thus, they vilified their late Friend, he and his fellow Champion walked, Arm in Arm, in a ſullen and uninterrupted Silence. Till, coming to a ſmall Opening, in a ſecreted Part of the Wood, Harry quitted his Companion, deſired him to ſtrip, and, inſtantly, caſt aſide his own Hat, Coat, and Waiſtcoat. Why ſhould I ſtrip, ſays Tommy? To Box, ſays Harry. Why ſhould you box with me, Harry? ſure I didn't ſtrike you, ſays Tom. Yes, Sir, replied our Hero, you ſtruck me when you ſtruck Dickey, and knew that he was my Brother. Nay, Harry, cried Tom, if it's Fight you are for, I'll give you enough of it, I warrant you.

[143] Tom was about eight Months older than Harry, his equal in the Practice of Arms, and much the ſtronger. But, Harry was full as tall; and his Motions, quicker than Thought, prevented the Ward of the moſt experienced Adverſary.

Together they ruſhed, like two little Tygers. At once, they ſtruck and parried, and, watching every open, they darted their little Fiſts, like Engines, at each other. But Tom, marking the Quickneſs, and feeling the Smart of Harry's Strokes, ſuddenly leapt within his Arm, bore him down to the Earth, and triumphantly gave him the firſt riſing Blow.

Harry roſe, indignant, but warn'd, by the Strength of his Adverſary, to better Caution. He now fought, more aloof, and as Tom preſſed upon him, he at once guarded, ſtruck, and wheel'd, like an experienced Cock, without quitting the Pit of Honour.

Tom, finding himſelf wholely foiled by this Parthian Method of Combat, again ruſh'd upon his Enemy, who was, now, aware of the Shock. They cloſed, they grappled, they caught each other by the Shoulders, join'd Head to Head, and Breaſt to Breaſt, and ſtood, like two Pillars, [144]merely ſupported by their Bearing againſt one another. Again they ſhifted the left Arm, caught each other about the Neck, and cuffed and punch'd at Face and Stomach, without Mercy or Remiſſion; till Tom, impatient of this Length of Battle, gave Harry a ſide Swing, and, Harry giving Tom a Trip at the ſame Time, they fell Side by Side, together upon the Earth.

They roſe, and retreated, to draw Breath, as by mutal Conſent. They glared on one another with an Eye of vindictive Apprehenſion. For neither of them could now boaſt of more Optics than Poliphemus; and, from their Forehead to their Shoes, they were in one Gore of Blood.

Again they flew upon each other, again they ſtruck, foined, and defended, and alternately, preſs'd on and retreated in Turns, till Harry, ſpying an Open, darted his Fiſt, like a Shot, into the remaining Eye of his Enemy. Tom, finding himſelf in utter Darkneſs, inſtantly, ſprung upon his Foe, and endeavoured to grapple; but Harry, with equal Agility, avoided the Shock, and, traverſing here and there beat his Adverſary at Pleaſure. Till Tom cried out, I yield I yield, Harry, for I can't ſee to fight, any more.

[145] Then, Harry took Tom by the Hand and led him to his Cloaths, and, having aſſiſted him to dreſs, he, next, did the ſame friendly Office to himſelf. Then, Arm in Arm, they returned much more loving, in reality, than they ſet out, having been beaten into a true Reſpect and Affection for each other.

Sometime before this, the Footman had joined his young Lord, with the ſeveral Implements requiſite for Nutting. They had, already, pulled down great Quantities; the young Quality had ſtuffed their Pockets; and the little Plebeians, who had aſſiſted, were now permitted to be buſie in gathering up the Refuſe. When all, turning at the Cry of there's Harry, there's Tom, they perceived our two Champions, advancing, leiſurely, but Hand in Hand, as Friends and Brothers.

They had left their Cloaths unbuttoned, for the Benefit of the cooling Air; and, as they approached, their Companions were frozen into Aſtoniſhment, at the Sight of their two Friends all covered with Crimſon.

They were neither able to advance to meet them, nor to ſpeak, when they arrived. 'Till Lord Dickey, firſt, inquired into this bloody Cataſtrophe, and, Harry [116]remaining wholely ſilent on the Subject; blind Tommy cried out, why, Maſter Dickey, the Truth is, that Harry, beat me, becauſe I beat You. Then Dickey, feeling a ſudden Guſh of Gratitude and Affection riſing up in his Boſom, looked wiſtfully on his Brother, and ſaid, with a plaintive Voice, O Brother Harry, Brother Harry, you are ſadly hurt; and, turning about, he began to weep moſt bitterly. But Harry ſaid, Shaw! Brother Dickey, don't cry Man, I don't matter it of the Head of a braſs Pin. Then turning to the Footman, with Tom ſtill in his Hand, he cried, here John, take that Bag of Nuts and poor blind Tommy to my Mammy's, and tell Daddy that I deſire him to ſee them both ſafe home.

Friend.

Sir, your Hero is indeed a Hero, he muſt be every body's Hero.

Author.

Sir, you do him vaſt Honour; and I ſhould be proud of your further Inſtructions towards his ſupporting the Dignity of the Character you give him. Pray, what are the ingredient Qualities of which a Hero is compounded? what Idea have you formed of ſuch a Perſonage? tell me, I beſeech you, what is a Hero, my good Friend?

Fr.
[147]

Pſhaw!—what a Queſtion—every Fool knows that.—A Hero is—as though one ſhould ſay—a Man of high Achievement—who performs famous Exploits—who does Things that are heroical—and in all his Actions and Demeanour, is a Hero indeed—why do you laugh—I will give you the Inſtances approved throughout the World; recorded and duely celebrated by Poets, Painters, Sculptors, Statuaries, and Hiſtorians.—There was the Aſſyrian Ninus, the Seſoſtris of Egypt, the Cyrus of Perſia, the Alexander of Greece, the Caeſar of Rome, and, partly in our own Days, there was the Conde of France, the Charles of Sweden, and Perſia's Kouli Kan.—What the plague does the Fellow laugh at?

Aut.

I am laughing to think what a Blockhead Themiſtocles was. Being aſked whom he conſidered as the greateſt of Heroes; not him who conquers but who ſaves, replied Themiſtocles; not the Man who ruins but the Man who erects; who, of a Village can make a City, or turn a deſpicable People into a great Nation.

Fr.

According to your Notion of Heroiſm, that Boor and Barbarian, Peter Alexiowitz of Ruſſia, was the greateſt Hero that ever lived.

Aut.
[148]

True, my Friend; for, of a numerous People, he diſembruted every one, except himſelf. But then, in all Equity, he ought to divide his Glory with Kate the Waſherwoman, who humanized the Man that humanized a Nation.

Fr.

Whom do you take to have been the greateſt Hero of Antiquity?

Aut.

Lycurgus, without Compariſon, the greateſt of Heroes and the greateſt of Legiſlators. In thoſe very early Days, the People of Lacedaemon were extremely rude and ignorant; they acknowledged no Laws, ſave the Dictates of their own Will or the Will of their Rulers. Lycurgus might have aſſumed the Sceptre; but his Ambition aſpired to a much more elevated and durable Dominion, over the Souls, Manners, and Conduct of this People and their Poſterity. He framed a Body of the moſt extraordinary Inſtitutions that ever enteredinto the Heart or Head of Man. Next to thoſe of our DIVINE LEGISLATOR, they were intended to form a new Creature. He prevailed upon the Rich to make an equal Diſtribution of their Lands with the Poor. He prohibited the Uſe of all ſuch Money as was current among other Nations, and, thereby prohibited [149]the Importation of the Means and Materials of Pomp and Luxury. He enjoined them to feed, in common, on ſimple and frugal Fare. He forbid all Gorgeouſneſs of Furniture and Apparel. In ſhort, he endeavoured to ſuppreſs every ſenſual and ſelfiſh Deſire, by Injunctions of daily Exerciſe, Toil, and Hardſhip, a patient Endurance of Pain, and a noble Contempt of Death. At length, feigning ſome Occaſion of being abroad for a Seaſon, he exacted an Oath from the Lacedaemonians that they ſhould ſtrictly obſerve his Laws, without the ſmalleſt Infringement, till his Return. Thus, for the love of his Country, he went into perpetual Baniſhment from it. And he took Meaſures, at his Death, that his Body ſhould never be found, leſt it ſhould be carried back to Sparta, and give his Countrymen a Colour for diſſolving their Oath.

Fr.

Laying Peter aſide, who, think you, was the greateſt Hero among the Moderns?

Aut.

To confeſs the Truth; among all that I have heard or read of; the Hero whom I moſt affect was a Madman, and the Lawgiver whom I moſt affect was a Fool.

Fr.
[150]

'Troth, I believe you never would have been the Writer you are at this Day, if you had not adopted ſomewhat of both the ſaid Qualities. But, come, unriddle I beſeech you; where may this favourite Hero and Legiſlator be found?

Aut.

In a Fragment of the Spaniſh Hiſtory, bequeathed to the World by one Signior Cervantes.

Fr.

O!—have you led me to my old Acquaintance? pray, has not your Pegaſus ſome Smatch of the Qualities of the famous Roſinante?

Aut.

Quite as chaſte, I aſſure you. But, I perceive that you think I am drolling; you don't ſuppoſe that you can ever be ſeriouſly of the ſame Opinion. Yet, if you demand of your own Memory, for what have the great Heroes throughout Hiſtory been renowned? it muſt anſwer, for Miſchief merely, for ſpreading Deſolation and Calamity among Men. How greatly, how gloriouſly, how divinely ſuperior was our Hero of the Mancha! who went about righting of Wrongs, and redreſſing of Injuries, lifting up the fallen, and pulling down thoſe whom Iniquity had exalted. In this his marvellous Undertaking, what Buffettings, what Bruiſings, what Tramplings of [151]Ribs, what pounding of Packſtaves did his Bones not endure? (Mine ached at the recital.) But, Toil was his Bed of Down, and the Houſe of Pain was, to him, a Bower of Delight, while he conſider'd himſelf as engaged in giving Eaſe, Advantage, and Happineſs to others. If Events did not anſwer to the Enterprizes of his Heart, it is not to be imputed to the Man but to his Malady; for, had his Power and Succeſs been as extenſive as his Benevolence, all Things awry, upon Earth, at the Riſque of his Limbs and Life, would inſtantly have been ſet as ſtreight as a Cedar.

But, let me turn, with Reverence, to kiſs the Hem of the Robes of the moſt reſpectable of all Governors and Legiſlators, Sancho Panſa. What Judgments! what Inſtitutions! how are Minos, and Solon, and the inſpired of the Goddeſs Aegeria here eclipſed! Sancho, thou waſt a Peaſant, thou waſt illiterate, thou waſt a Dunce for a Man, but an Angel for a Governor; inaſmuch as, contrary to the Cuſtom of all other Governors, thou didſt not deſire any Thing, thou didſt not wiſh for any Thing, thine Eye was not bent to any Thing, ſave the Good of thy People! therefore thou cou'dſt not ſtray, thou hadſt no other way to travel. Could Aeſop's Log have been moved to Action [152]upon the ſame Principle, the Regency of Storks had not prevailed among Men. How am I provoked, Panſa, when I ſee thee inſulted! how am I grieved when I find thee depoſed! Saving the Realms of a certain Majeſty, I ſay, and ſigh to myſelf, O, that the whole Earth were as thine Iſland of Barataria; and thou, Sancho, the Legiſlator and the Ruler thereof.

Fr.

I feel Conviction. I confeſs it. But tell me, I pray you; why has the World, through all Ages and Nations, univerſally aſcribed Heroiſm and Glory to Conqueſt?

Aut.

Through the Reſpect, as I take it, that they have for Power. Man is by Nature weak; he is born in and to a State of Dependence; he therefore naturally ſeeks and looks about for Help; and, where he obſerves the greateſt Power, it is there that he applies and prays for Protection. Now, though this Power ſhould be exerted to his Damage, inſtead of Defence, it makes no Alteration in his Reverence for it; he bows while he trembles, and while he deteſts he worſhips. In the preſent Caſe, it is with Man, as it is with God; He is not ſo awful and ſtriking, he is not ſo much attended to, in the Sunſhine and gentle Dews of his Providence [153]and Benignity, as in his Lightnings and Thunders, his Clouds and his Tempeſts.

Hero, heros, and [...], in the three Languages, ſignify a Demigod, or one who is ſuperior to mere Man. But, how can this Superiority or Diſtinction be ſhewn? The ſerene Acts of Beneficence, the ſmall and ſtill Voice of Goodneſs are neither accompanied by Noiſe nor Oſtentation. It is Uproar and Tumult, rather the Tumbling of ſack'd Cities, the Shrieks of raviſh'd Matrons, and the Groans of dying Nations that fill the Trump of Fame. Men of Power and Ambition find Diſtinction and Glory, very readily, attainable in this Way; as it is incomparably more eaſy to deſtroy than to create, to give Death than to give Life, to pull down than to build up, to bring Devaſtation and Miſery rather than Plenty and Peace and Proſperity upon Earth.

Fr.

Were not Mankind, in this Inſtance, as blind to their own Intereſts, as they were iniquitous in giving Glory where Shame alone was due?

Aut.

In ſo doing, they proved at once the Dupes and the Victims of their own Folly. Praiſe a Child for his Genius in Pranks of Miſchief and Malevolence, and [154]you quicken him in the direct Road to the Gallows. It is juſt ſo that this wiſe World has bred up its heroic Reprobates, by aſcribing Honour and Acclamation to Deeds that called loudy for Infamy and the Gibbet; for the World was an Aſs from its very Commencement, and it will continue a Dunderhead to the End.

From the Beginning of Things (a long Time ago) the joint Invention of Mankind has diſcovered but two Methods of procuring Suſtenance on Earth, the Firſt by the Labour of their own Hands, the ſecond by employing the Hands of others.

All therefore are excluded, or at leaſt ought to be excluded from ſuch a World, who refuſe to labour, or, what is ſtill worſe, who diſturb and prevent the Labour of Others.

Among thoſe who will not labour, we may number all who have the Happineſs of being born to no Manner of End; ſuch as the Monks of every Country, the Derviſes of Perſia, the Bramins of India, the Mandarins of China, and the Gentlemen of theſe free and poliſhed Nations.

Theſe have nothing to do but to ſleep it, to wake it; to eat it, to drink it; to dance it, to doze it; to riot it, to roar [155]it; and to rejoice in the happy Earneſt which this World has given them of the Jollities of the next.

Among thoſe who diſturb the Labour of others, I reckon all your raſcally Alexanders and Caeſars, whether antient or modern, who, in their Fits of Frenzy and Folly, ſcamper about, breaking the Lanterns and beating the Watch of this World, to the great Amazement of Women and Terrour of little Children; and, who ſeem to think that Heaven gave Noſes and Heads, for no End in Nature but to be blooded and cracked. In ſhort, I have no Patience when I hear talk of theſe Fellows. I am not Half ſo fretted when I hear my own Works read—Go on, I requeſt you, it may happen to put me in Temper.

CHAP. V.

[156]

THE young Gentlemen were, now, upon their Return; and, as they approached the Houſe, they crouded about Harry to keep him from being ſeen, till he took an Opportunity of ſlipping away and ſtealing up to his Chamber. He now grew ſtiff and ſore, and his Nurſe, having got an Intimation of what had happened, hurried up to him, and wept over him with abundant Tears of cordial Affection. She ſtrait, undreſſed, and put him to Bed; and, having ordered ſome White-Wine Whey, of which ſhe made him drink plentifully, ſhe, alſo, undreſſed, and went to bed to him, and Harry, caſting his little Arm about her Neck, and, putting his Head in her Boſom, was faſt in a Twinkling.

By this, John had returned from the Execution of his Commiſſion. He had been fully apprized by Tommy, on the Road, of all the Circumſtances relating to this bloody Buſineſs; and, going to his Lord and Lady, he gave them the whole Detail, occaſionally dwelling, and expatiating on Harry's Courage, his Proweſs, his Honour, and his Generoſity. They could, now, no longer forbear indulging themſelves [157]with the Sight of a Child, in whom they held themſelves honoured, above all Titles. They ſtole, gently, up Stairs; and, having got a Peep at Harry, and obſerved that he was faſt aſleep, they ſtole, as ſoftly, back again, each inwardly exulting in their glorious Boy.

Our Hero was ſcarce recovered, from his Wounds and Bruiſes, when, on a Day, he met a little Beggar Boy at the Hall-Door, half naked, and whinging, and ſhivering with Cold. His Heart was, inſtantly, touched with wonted Compaſſion; and, taking him by the Hand, what is your Name, my poor little Boy, ſays Harry? Neddy, Sir, ſays the Child. And, where's your Daddy and Mammy? O, Sir, anſwered Ned, I have no Daddy nor Mammy in the World wide. Don't cry, don't cry, ſays Harry, I have ſeveral Daddies and Mammies, and I'll give you One or Two of 'em. But, where did you leave your Cloaths, Neddy? I haven't any, Sir, replied the Child in a piteous Accent. Well well, it don't matter, Neddy, for I have more Cloaths, too, ſays Harry. So, taking him again by the Hand, he led him up to his Apartment, without being perceived of any; and, helping him to ſtrip, he ran to his Cloſet for the Shirt which he had laſt thrown off, and put it on the new Comer with equal Haſte and [158]Delight. He, next, ran for the entire Suit that his bearded Dada had given him, and, having helped, and ſhewn him how to put on the Breeches, he drew on the Stockings and Shoes with his own Hands. To theſe ſucceeded the Coat and Waiſtcoat, and Ned was, now, full as well rigg'd as his Benefactor.

Never had our Hero enjoyed himſelf, ſo highly, as while he was thus employed. When he had finiſhed his Operations, he chuckled and ſmiled, turn'd Ned, round and round, walked here and there about him, and was as proud of him, as if he had been wholely of his own making.

He now, again, became thoughtful, forecaſting in his Mind the Particulars that might further be requiſite for the Accommodation of his Gueſt; for he was grown too fond of him to think of parting ſuddenly. He then recollected an adjoining Lumber-Room, and, taking Ned with him, they found a little old Mattreſs, which, with united Strength they dragged forth, and lodged in a convenient Corner of the Cloſet. To this they added a Pair of old Blanketts, and Harry, having ſpread them for Ned's Repoſe, in the beſt Manner he was able, aſked his Dependent if he was yet hungry; Yes, very, very hungry indeed, Sir, cried Ned. No ſooner [159]ſaid, than Harry flew down to the Kitchen, and, looking about, and ſpying a large Porringer of Milk and a Luncheon of Bread, that one of the Servants had provided for a young Favourite of their own, he ſeized upon them like a Hawk, and haſt'ning, again to his Chamber, delivered them to Neddy who, already, had half devoured them with his Eyes. Ned, inſtantly, fell to with the Rapture of a Cormorant, or any Rapture that can be ſuppoſed leſs than that of his Friend Harry, who ſtood over him with the Feelings of a Parent Turtle; that feeds his Young with the Meat derived from his own Bowels.

For a few Days, Harry kept his Dependent ſhut up in his Chamber, or Cloſet, without the Privity of any of the Family, except Nurſe, to whom he had reveal'd the Affair under the Seal of the ſtricteſt Secreſy.

But, on a croſs Day, Suſy the Houſemaid, having entered with a new Broom into our Hero's Apartment, perceived, in a Corner, the tatter'd Depoſite of Ned's original Robeings, and, lifting them, at a cautious Diſtance, with a Finger and Thumb, ſhe perceived, alſo, as many other Philoſophers have done, that there is no part of this Globe which is not peopled with Nations of Animals, if Man [160]had but Attention, and Optics duely accommodated to the Viſion. She dropt the living Garment, as though ſhe had taken up a burning Horſe Shoe; and was, inſtantly, peopled, by her prolific Imagination, with Tribes of the ſame Species from Head to Foot.

In this Fit of Diſguſt, Suſy happen'd, unfortunately, to ſtep into the Cloſet, and ſpyed Ned in a dark Corner, where he had ſquatted and drawn himſelf up to the Size of a Hedge-hog. She, immediately flew at him, like one of the Eumenides, and dragged him forth to the Light, as Hercules is ſaid to have haled Cacus from his Den. She queſtioned him, with a Voice of implacable Authority, and Ned, with humble and ingenuous Tears, confeſſed the whole Adventure. But Suſy, no way melted, exclaimed, what, Sirrah, have you, and your Maſter Harry, a mind to breed an Affection in the Houſe? I will remit of no ſuch Doings, for I have an utter Converſion to Beggar-Brats and Vermil. She then commanded him to bundle up his old Raggs, and, driving him down Stairs before her, ſhe diſmiſſed him from the Hall-Door with a Pair of ſmart Boxes on each Side of his Head, and ordered him never more to Defend her Sight.

[161] Poor Ned, went weeping and wailing, from the Door, when who ſhould he ſee, at about fifty Paces, diſtant, but his beloved Patron Harry, who had been cutting a Switch from the next Hedge. To him he ran, with Precipitation. Harry, touched with a Compaſſion not free from Reſentment, to ſee his Favourite in Tears, demanded the Cauſe of his apparent Diſtreſs, which Ned truely related. Our Hero, thereupon, became thoughtful and moody; and, judging that Suſy had not acted thus without Authority, he conceived a general Diſguſt at a Family who had treated him ſo injuriouſly in the Perſon of his Neddy; but, comforting his Dependent the beſt he could, come Neddy, ſays he, don't cry, my Man; I will bring you, that I will, to my own dear Dada, and he will welcome and love you, for my Sake. Then, making his Way through a ſmall Breach in the neighbouring Hedge, he ordered Ned to follow him, and flew acroſs the Field, like a Bird of Paſſage, in a direct Line to his Patron's.

The old Gentleman ſaw him approaching and gave Sign to his antient Domeſtic, who withdrew, with Precipitation. He received and careſſed our Hero with more than uſual Tranſport, and who, my Dear ſays he, is this pretty little Boy that you [162]have got with you? Harry, then, like the Grecian Demoſthenes, taking Time to warm himſelf with the Recollection of his own Ideas, and, ſetting his Perſon forth with an Action and Ardour that determined to prevail, made the following Oration.

Why, Dada, I muſt tell you as how this poor little Boy, for he is a very poor little Boy, and his Name is Neddy, Sir, and he has no Friend in the wide World but you and I, Sir; and, ſo Sir, as I was telling you, he comes to the Door, crying ſadly for Cold and Hunger, and he would have pitied every Body, for he had no Cloaths, nor Daddy nor Mammy at all, Sir, and I had a many of them, and that wasn't fair, you know, Sir; and I was in the Humour to give him all the Dadas and Mamas I had in the World, except you, Sir; and Mammy Nurſe. And ſo, I takes him up Stairs, and I puts the Cloaths upon him, that you gave me, when I was a poor little Boy, Sir; for no Body had to ſay to 'em, but you and I, Sir; and I knew that you would pity poor little Neddy, more than I pitied him myſelf, Sir. And ſo, Dada, they takes my poor little Neddy to Day, and boxed him, and beat him ſadly, and turned him out of Doors; and ſo I meets him crying and roaring, and ſo, you know, Sir, as how [163]I had nothing to do, but to bring him to you, Sir, or to ſtay, and cry with him for Company, Sir.

Here, Orator Harry ceaſed to ſpeak, except by his Tears, which he could no longer reſtrain, and which proceeded to plead moſt emphatically for him. But, his Patron took him in his Arms, and kiſſed the Drops from both Eyes, and ſaid, don't cry, my Darling, for I am yours, my Harry, and all that I have is yours, and, if you had brought a whole Regiment of poor little Neddies, with you, they ſhould be all welcome to me, for your Sake, my Harry.

Then Harry ſprung up, and caught his Patron about the Neck, ſo that it was ſome Time before the old Gentleman could get looſe. But, Harry, ſays he, I am going juſt now to leave this Country; will you and your Man Neddy come along with me? Over the World wide, Dada, ſays Harry; but where are you going, Sir? I am going a Begging, Harry. O, that will be brave Sport, ſays Harry, I'll tell you what you ſhall do, Dada. What's that, my Love? Why, Sir, ſays Harry, you muſt get a great Bag, like the old Man and little Child that was at Door, 'tother Day. And Neddy and I will beg for you, Sir; and we will put all that we [164]get into your great Bag, as that good little Child did for his Daddy, without touching a Bit; though he was a hungry enough, himſelf, poor Fellow, I warant. But don't let us go to beg to Papa's Door, Sir; for, if you do, they will box and beat us, and drive us away, as they did to poor little Neddy, to Day, Sir.

The old Gentleman, thereat, had his Countenance divided betwixt the riſing Tear and the burſting Laugh. But, taking Harry by the Hand, he ſaid. No no, my heavenly Creature, I am not going to beg of any Man living, but to beg of God to pour down his full Weight of Bleſſings upon my Harry, and, to endeavour to confirm them to him, both here and hereafter, by my Care and Inſtructions.

Having thus ſpoken, he put a large Cake into the Hand of each of the Children, and, cauſing them to drink a full Glaſs of ſmall White-Wine, he took them into a back Yard, where a light Coach with ſix Horſes and three Servants, ready mounted, attended. And, having placed his young Companions, and ſeated himſelf between them, away the Coach drove, at a ſweeping Gallop.

About the Time that our Hero and his Patron ſet out, Nurſe went up Stairs, [165]with a moſt bountiful Cut, of Homebaked Bread and Butter; for the Amuſement of the young Caitiff whom ſhe had left in the Cloſet; but not finding him there, ſhe haſtily dropped her Provinder on the firſt Window ſhe met, and, hurrying down to the Kitchen, earneſtly enquired for the little Beggar-Boy whom Maſter Harry had taken into his Service; at this Queſtion all the Servants ſtood in ſilent Amazement, except Suſy, who, bridling up, and aſſuming the whole Importance of her Station. Why, Nurſe, ſays ſhe, you muſtn't oppoſe that I am come here, to ſweep and to clean after louſy little Flagrants, it was enough to breed an Antagion, that it was, in the Houſe; ſo what magnifies many Words, I took the little dirty Baſtard and cuff'd him out of Doors. You did Huſſey, ſays Nurſe, you dare to affront and vex my Child, my little Man, the Honour and Pride of all the Family? And, ſo ſaying, ſhe ups with her brawny Arm, and gave Suſy ſuch a Douſe on the Side of the Head, as left her faſt aſleep for an Hour and upward. Then running up Stairs, again, ſhe went, ſearching and clamouring, for her Harry, about the Houſe, in order to comfort and condole with him for his Loſs.

Dinner was now ſerved up, and the Company ſeated, and all the Servants ran [166]ſeverally, here and there, repeatedly ſummoning Maſter Harry to attend. But, Harry was out of Hearing, by many a Mile. When the Cloth was removed, Nurſe entered with an Aſpect, half in Tears and half diſtracted, and exclaimed that her Child was not to be found. And what, Nurſe, ſays the Earl, do you think is become of him? I hope, my Lord, ſays ſhe, that he is either ſtrayed to his Daddy, or to the dumb Gentleman's. Then, Meſſengers were, inſtantly, diſpatched to both Houſes, who ſpeedily returned, with Tidings, that Maſter Harry had not been ſeen at his Foſter-father's, and that no one was at Home at the Houſe of the Dumb Gentleman.

The Buſineſs, now, became ſerious, and alarming; the whole Houſe was in Commotion, and all the Domeſtics, and our Hero's loving Nurſe, with Lord Dickey in her Hand, ran ſearching through the Gardens, the Fields, and the Groves, that reſounded, on all Sides, with the Name of the Abſentee.

On their Return from a Diſquiſition, as fruitleſs as ſolicitous, Nurſe declared her Apprehenſions, that Harry was gone off, with a little favourite Boy whom he had taken into Service, and whom the Houſe [167]Maid, that Morning, had beaten out of Doors. Suſy, being nearly recovered, and now called and queſtioned, hereon, was compelled to confeſs the Fact, though in Terms leſs haughty and leſs elegant, than uſual; when my Lord, looking ſternly at her, and who, you Strumpet, he cried, gave you Authority to turn any one out of my Houſe whom my noble and generous Boy was pleaſed to bring in? get you inſtantly away, and never let me be ſo unhappy as to ſee that Face again.

By this Time, the whole Village and Neighbourhood, as well as this noble Family, were in Trouble and Alarms for the Loſs of their little Favourite; when a Countryman enter'd in ſweaty Haſte and deſired, without Preface, to be admitted to the Earl. My Lord, ſays he, I think I can give you ſome News of your dear Child. As I was returning Home on the London Road, I ſaw a Coach and Six driving towards me at a great rate, and, though it paſſed me in Haſte, I marked that the Gentleman with the Beard, was in it, and that he had two Children with him, one on each Hand, though I had not Time to obſerve their Faces.

Here is ſomething for your News, ſaid the Earl, it may be as you ſay.—Here, John! take a Poſſe of the Servants along [168]with you. Go in Haſte to that Man's Houſe. If no one anſwers, break open the Door; and bring me Word of what you can learn concerning him.

John, who was the Houſe Steward, hurried inſtantly on his Commiſſion; and, finding all in Silence, after loud and repeated Knockings, he and his Myrmidons burſt open the Door, and ruſhing in ran up and down through all the Apartments. They found the Houſe richly furniſhed, a Library of choice Books above Stairs, a Buffet full of maſſy Plate, and every Thing in Order as if prepared for the Reception of a Family of Diſtinction. At this they all ſtood aſtoniſhed, till John, caſting his Eye toward a Table in the Street Parlour, perceived a Paper which he haſtily ſnatched up, and found to be a Letter, duely folded and ſealed and addreſſed to his Lord. Exulting at this Diſcovery, he left ſome of the Servants to watch the Goods, and hurried back with all poſſible Speed to his Maſter.

My Lord, ſays John entring, and ſtriving to recover Breath, the dumb Gentleman, as they call him, muſt be a main rich Man, for the very Furniture of his Houſe cannot be worth leſs than ſome Thouſands of Pounds. John then preſented [169]the Letter, which the Earl haſtily broke open, and found to be, as follows:

My Lord,

I Am at length preſented with an Opportunity of carrying off your little Harry, the greateſt Treaſure that ever Parents were bleſs'd with.

The Diſtreſs that I feel, in foreſeeing the Affliction that his Abſence will cauſe to your whole Family, has not been able to prevail for the Suſpenſion of this Enterprize, as the Child's Intereſt and Happineſs outweighs, with me, all other Conſiderations.

Permit me, however, to aſſure your Lordſhip that our Darling is in very ſafe and very affectionate Hands, and that it ſhall be the whole Concern, and Employment of my Life, to render and to return him to you, in due Time, the moſt accompliſhed and moſt perfect of all human Beings.

In the mean while, your utmoſt Search and Enquiry after us will be fruitleſs. I leave to your Lordſhip my Houſe and Furniture, as a Pledge and [170]Aſſurance of the Integrity of my Intentions,

And am, &c.

The Myſtery of our Hero's Flight was now, in a great Meaſure unravelled; but no one could form any rational Conjecture, touching the Motive of the old Gentleman's Procedure in the Caſe; and all were ſtaggered at his leaving ſuch a Maſs of Wealth behind him.

As the falling on of a dark Night rendered all Purſuit, for that Time, impracticable; my Lord order'd the Servants to Bed, that they might riſe before Day; and then to take every Horſe he had, Coach-Cattle and all, and to muſter and mount the young Men of the Village, and to purſue after the Fugitives, by different Roads, according to the beſt Likelihood or Intelligence they might receive.

In this hopeful Proſpect, the Houſe was again in ſome Meaſure compoſed; all, except poor Nurſe who would not be comforted, neither could be prevailed upon to enter in at the Doors; but all Night, on the cold Stairs, or rambling through the raw Air, continued clapping and wringing [171]her Hands, and bewailing the irreparable Loſs of her Harry.

On the following Day, my Lord ordered a minute Inventory to be taken of all the Furniture in the forſaken Manſion-Houſe; and further appointed Harry's Foſter-father, with his Family, to enter into Poſſeſſion, and to take Care of the Effects, till ſuch Time as the Proprietor ſhould renew his Claim.

After three tedious Days, and as many expecting Nights, the Poſſe that went in queſt of our Runaways returned; all, drooping and dejected, moſt of them ſlowly leading their overſpent Horſes, and univerſally beſpatter'd or cover'd with Mire, without any Equivalent of comfortable Tidings to balance the Weight of their Langour and Fatigue.

The Happineſs or Wretchedneſs of human Life, as it ſhould ſeem, does not ſo much depend on the Loſs or Acquiſition of real Advantage, as on the fluctuating Opinions and Imaginations of Men. The Abſence of this Infant who, but a few Months before, had no Manner of Intereſt in the Views, Affections, or Solicitudes of this noble Family, appeared now as the Loſs of all their Honours and Fortunes. A general Face of Mourning ſeemed to darken [172]every Apartment; and my Lord and Lady no more paid Viſits, nor received public Company. They were however inventive in many Contrivances for amuſing and conſoling their darling Dickey, but even this was to little Purpoſe, for he was often found ſilently languiſhing in Corners; or crying, O, where's my Brother Harry, my own ſweet Brother Harry, ſhall I never ſee my own Brother Harry any more?

My Lord had already diſpatched a Multitude of circular Letters to all his Acquaintances, with other Notices, throughout the Kingdom, containing Offers of ample Rewards for the Recovery of his Child. But, finding all ineffectual, he cauſed Advertiſements, to the ſame Purpoſe, to be repeatedly inſerted in all the public Papers; as the ſame, no doubt, are ſtill extant, and may be found in the muſty Chronicles of thoſe Days.

Within a few Weeks after the publiſhing of theſe Advertiſements my Lord received a Letter, reſpecting his Son Harry, that afforded great Conſolation to him and his Lady; inſomuch, that, with the Help of the lenient Hand of Time, in leſs than the Space of twelve Months, this noble Family were reſtored to their former Chearfulneſs and Tranquillity.

[173] But, to return to the Situation in which we left our Hero: The Coach drove on, at a round Rate, and the Children continued in high Glee, and thought this kind of Conveyance the fineſt Sport imaginable.

When they had entered, a Space, on the firſt Common, the Coachman looked about, to take Care that no one was in Sight; and, turning to the right Hand, he held gently on, till he came to another great Road, on which he drove at his former Rate. This he did, again, at the next Common, and, coming to another Road that led, alſo, to London, and Night now approaching, he put up at the firſt great Inn he came to.

Harry's Patron had the Precaution to keep his great Coat muffled about his Face, ſo that no one could obſerve his Beard, till they were ſhewn to a Room, and Fire and Candles were lighted up. Then, his ancient Friend and Domeſtic, having provided Sciſſars and Implements for Shaving, locked the Door and ſet to Work in the Preſence of the Children.

Harry was all Attention, during the whole Proceſs; and when the Operation was quite compleated, he drew near to his Patron, with a cautious kind of Jealouſy, [174]and, looking up to his Face, with the Tears in his little Eyes, ſpeak to me, Sir, ſays he, pray ſpeak to me. It is, anſwered the old Gentleman, the only Comfort of my Life to be with you and to ſpeak to you, my Harry. The Child, hearing the well known Voice of Friendſhip, immediately cleared again, and, reaching up his little Arms to embrace his Patron; O, indeed, ſays he, I believe you are my own Dada ſtill.

Though Harry was, now, reconciled to the Identity of his Friend, yet he felt a ſecret Regret for the Abſence of his Beard. For he loved all and every Part, of him, ſo entirely, that the Loſs of a Hair appeared a Loſs and a Want to the Heart of Harry.

After an early Supper, and two or three ſmall Glaſſes of Wine per Man; this Gentleman, whom his Servants had now announced by the Name of Mr. Fenton, became all Things in all with his young Companions. He delighted them with ſeveral entertaining Tricks. He put the Point of a large Needle to the Edge of a drinking Glaſs, and then, placing the Centre of a Pewter Plate on the Top of the Needle, he began to turn it about, with an encreaſing Motion, till it whirled round, at a Rapidity that was altogether [175]joyous and amazing to the little Spectators. He, next, turned two Plates with their Faces to each-other, and, placing them on the Brim of a large Beer-Glaſs, he put an Egg upon the Plates, and, giving the Plates a ſlight Stroke, with the Side of his Hand, the Plates, inſtantly flew from between the Glaſs and the Egg, and the Egg fell plumb into the Glaſs, without the ſmalleſt Fracture.

After ſome other of the like Fooleries, the Table was removed; and, as the Room was very large, Mr. Fenton propoſed Hide and go ſeek to his Aſſociates. This Invitation was accepted with Tranſport, and, after they were cloy'd with Hide and ſeek, they all play'd Tagg till they were well warmed.

Mr. Fenton then ordered a Pallet into the Chamber, for James, his faithful Domeſtic, and little Ned. Then, helping to undreſs Harry, he put him, firſt, to Bed; and, haſtening after, he took his Darling to his Boſom, and tenderly preſſed him to a Heart that loved him more than all the World, and more than that World ten times told.

In about three Days more, they arrived ſafe, at Hamſted, and ſtopping at the Court of a large Houſe, that was delightfully ſituated, they were welcomed by a [176]Gentlewomanly looking Matron, whom James had fixed for Houſekeeper, about a Fortnight before.

The next Day, Mr. Fenton and his blithe Companions were attended at Table by James and the two Footmen.

As ſoon as the latter Grace was ſaid, and the Cloth taken away; Harry, ſays Mr. Fenton, it is now our turn to wait on James and his Fellow Servants. For God made us all to be Servants to each other, and one Man is not born a Bit better than another, and he is the beſt and greateſt of all who ſerves and attends the moſt, and requires leaſt to be ſerved and attended upon. And, my Precious, he, that is a King to Day, if ſo it ſhall pleaſe God, may become a Beggar To-morrow, and it is good that People ſhould be prepared againſt all that may happen.

Having ſo ſaid, he took his Aſſociates down to the Hall, juſt as the Servants had ſat down to Dinner. He gave his Domeſtics the Wink, and, beginning to ſet the Example, aſked Mrs. Hannah, and Mr. James, and Mr. Frank, and Mr. Andrew, what they would pleaſe to have? The Servants, readily falling in with their Maſter's Scheme, ordered Harry to bring ſuch a Thing, and Ned to fetch ſuch a Thing, [177]and Harry to do this, and Harry to do that. While Harry, with a graceful Action, and more beautiful than Ganymede the Cup-Bearer of the Gods, flew chearfully about, from Side to Side, preventing the Wiſhes of all at Table; ſo that they poured upon him a thouſand Bleſſings from the Bottom of their Hearts, and, would now ſcarce have parted with him for the mighty Rewards, which his Father, ſome Time after, propoſed for his Recovery.

Within a Fortnight after this, Mr. James, the Houſe Steward, had furniſhed a large Lumber-Room with thouſands of Coats, out-Coats, Shirts, Waiſtcoats, Breeches, Stockings, and Shoes, of different Sorts and Sizes, but all of warm and clean, though homely Materials.

When this was done, Mr. Fenton led his Favourite up to the Stores, and ſaid; my Harry, you ſee all theſe Things, and I make a Preſent of all theſe Things to my Harry. And, now tell me, my Love, what will you do with them? Why, Dada, ſays Harry, you know that I can't wear them myſelf. No, my Dear, ſays Mr. Fenton, for, you have Clothes enough beſide, and ſome of them would not fit you, and others would ſmother you. What then will you do with them, will you burn [178]them, or throw them away? O, that would be very naughty and wicked indeed, ſays Harry. No, Dada, as I don't want 'em, myſelf, I will give 'em, to thoſe that do. That will be very honeſtly done of you, ſays Mr. Fenton, for, in Truth they have a better Right to them, my Harry, than you have, and that, which you cannot uſe, cannot belong to you. So that, in giving you theſe Things, my Darling, it ſhould ſeem, as if I made you no Gift at all. O, a very ſweet Gift, ſays Harry. How is that, ſays Mr. Fenton; why, the Gift of doing Good to poor People, Sir. Mr. Fenton, then, ſtepping back, and, gazing on our Hero, cryed; whoever attempts to inſtruct thee, my Angel, muſt, himſelf, be inſtructed of Heaven, who ſpeaks by that ſweet Mouth.

But, Harry, it would not be diſcreet of you to give theſe Things to the common Beggars who come every Day to our Door; give them Victuals and Half-Pence or Pence a-piece, and welcome. But, if you give ſuch Beggars twenty Suits of Clothes, they will caſt them all off, and put on their Raggs, again, to move People to pity them. But, when you ſpy any poor Travellers going the Road, and, that your Eye-ſees that they are naked, or your Heart tells you that they are hungry; then, do not wait till they beg of [179]you, but go and beg of them to favour you with their Acceptance; then take them in, to the Fire, and warm them, and feed them; and, when you have ſo done, take them up to your Store-Room, and cloath them with whatever you think they want. And, believe me, my Harry, whenever you are cold, or hungry, or wounded, or in want, or in Sickneſs, yourſelf; the very Remembrance of your having cloathed, and fed, and cured, and comforted, the naked and the hungry, the wounded, and the afflicted, will be Warmth, and Food, and Medicine, and Balm to your own Mind.

While Mr. Fenton ſpoke, the Muſcles of Harry's expreſſive Countenance, like an equally tuned Inſtrument, uttered Uniſons to every Word he heard.

From this Day forward, Harry and Ned, by Turns, were frequently out on the Watch; and, often ſingle, or in Pairs, or by whole Families, Harry would take in a poor Father and Mother, with their helpleſs Infants, driven perhaps from Houſe and Home, by Fire, or other Misfortune, or oppreſſive Landlord, or ruthleſs Creditor; and, having warmed, and fed, and cloathed, and treated the Old-Ones as his Parents, and the Little-Ones as his Brothers and Siſters, he would give them additional Money, for Charges on the Road, [180]and ſend them away the happieſt of all People except himſelf.

By this Time, Mr. Fenton had inquired into the Circumſtances and Characters of all the Poor in the Town and throughout the Precincts, and, having refuted or confirmed the Intelligence he had received, by a perſonal Inſpection and Viſit from Houſe to Houſe, and, having made Entries of all ſuch, as he deemed real Objects and worthy of his Benificence, he invited the Heads of the ſeveral Families to take a Dinner with him, every Sunday, at his Hall.

On the following Sunday, there came about thirty of theſe Viſitants, which Number ſoon encreaſed to fifty weekly Gueſts.

On entring, they found the Cloth ready ſpread, and Mr. James, having counted Heads, laid a Crown, in Silver, upon every Plate; which firſt Courſe was a moſt reliſhing Sauce to all that followed. A plentiful Dinner was then introduced, and, the Gueſts being ſeated, Mr. Fenton, Harry, Ned, and the four Domeſtics attended, and diſpoſed themſelves, in a Manner the moſt ready to ſupply the Wants of the Company. The Gueſts, all abaſhed and confounded at what they ſaw, ſat, ſome Time, with open Mouth, and [181]unſwallowed Victuals, much leſs did they preſume to apply to the Waiters for any Article they wanted; till, being encouraged and ſpirited up, by the Chearfulneſs, Eaſe, and Readineſs of their Attendants, they became, by Degrees, quite happy and jovial; and, after a ſaturating Meal, and an enlivening Cup, they departed, with elevated Spirits, with humanized Manners, and with Hearts warmed, in Affection, toward ev'ry Member of this extraordinary Houſe.

By the means of this weekly Bounty, theſe reviving Families were ſoon enabled to clear their little Debts, to the Chandlers, which had compelled them to take up every Thing at the deareſt Hand. They, were, alſo, further enabled to purchaſe Wheels and other Implements, with the Materials of Flax and Wool, for employing the late idle Hands of their Houſhold. They, now, appeared decently clad, and with happy Countenances. Their Wealth encreaſed with their Induſtry. And the Product of the Employment of ſo many late uſeleſs Members became a real Acceſſion of Wealth to the Public. So true it is, that the Proſperity of this World, and, of every Nation and Society, therein, depends, ſoley, on the Induſtry or Manufactures of the Individuals. And, ſo much more nobly did this private Patron [182]act, than all ancient Legiſlators, or modern Patriots, and Landlords; whoſe Selfiſhneſs, if they had but common Cunning, or common Senſe, might inſtruct them to encreaſe their proper Rents, and enrich their native Country, by ſupplying the Hands of all the Poor, within their Influence, with the Implements and Materials of the Proſperity of each.

In the mean Time, Mrs. Hannah, daily, inſtructed the Children in the Reading of Engliſh. Neither was Mr. Fenton inattentive to any Means that might preſerve and promote the Health, Action, and corporal Excellencies of his little Champion.

He held a large Lawn, behind his Garden: and, hither he ſummoned, three Times in every Week, all the Boys of the Vicinage, that were within two Years, advanced above the Age of our Hero. To theſe he appointed Premiums for Football, Hurling, Wreſtling, Leaping, Running, Cudgelling, and Buffing. But the Champions were enjoined to inveſt their Fiſts with little Mufflers, inſomuch, that, how great ſoever their Vigour might be, the Bruiſes that they gave ſtopped ſhort of Mortality.

Now, though theſe Premiums were, almoſt, univerſally adjudged to the Party of which Harry then happened to be a Member, [183]or, individually, to himſelf for his ſingle Proweſs and Preeminence. Yet, he never would conſent to bear the Prize from the Field; but, either gave it to ſome Favourite among thoſe, with whom he had been aſſociated; or to the particular Champion whom he had worſted in Conteſt. For he felt the Shame and Defeat of his mortified Adverſary, and conſolingly hinted at the Injuſtice of the Judges, and reformed their Error, by the Reſtoration of the Reward.

One Day, while Harry was watching to intercept poor Travellers, as eagerly as a Fowler watches for the riſing of his Game; he heard a plaintive Voice, behind the Hedge, as he thought, in the oppoſite Field. He flew acroſs the Road, and, paſſing through a ſmall Turnſtile ſoon found the unhappy Objects he ſought for. He ſtood, for ſome Time, like a Statue, and his Compaſſion became too ſtrong for Tears or Utterance: but, ſuddenly turning, and flying back again, he ruſhed, with Precipitation, into the Room where Mr. Fenton was writing a Letter. What is the Matter, ſaid Mr. Fenton, ſtarting, what has frighted you, my Harry, what makes you look ſo pale? To this Harry replied not, but catching hold of his Hand, and pulling, with all his Force, O come, ſays he, O come, Dada, and ſee.

[184] Mr. Fenton then got up, and ſuffered himſelf to be led where the Child pleaſed to conduct him, without another Word being aſked or anſwered on either Side.

When they were come into the Field, Mr. Fenton obſerv'd a Man ſitting on the Ground. His Clothes ſeemed, from Head to Foot, as the tattered Remainder of better Days. Through a ſqualid Wig, and Beard, his pale Face appeared juſt tinctured with a faint and ſickly Red. And, his hollow Eyes were fixed upon the Face of a Woman, whoſe Head he held on his Knees; and, who looked to be dead, or dying, though without any apparent Agony; while a male Infant, about four Years of Age, was half ſtretched on the Ground, and half acroſs the Woman's Lap, with its little Noſe pinched by Famine, and its Eyes ſtaring about, wildly, though without Attention to any Thing. Diſtreſs ſeemed to have expended its utmoſt Bitterneſs on theſe Objects, and the laſt Sigh and Tear to have been, already, exhauſted.

Unhappy Man, cried Mr. Fenton, pray, who or what are you? to which the Stranger, faintly, replied; without lifting his Eyes. Whoever you may be, diſturb not the laſt Hour of thoſe who wiſh to be at Peace.

[185] Run, Harry, ſays Mr. Fenton, deſire all the Servants to come to me, immediately; and bid Mrs. Hannah bring ſome Hartſhorn and a Bottle of Cordial.

Away flew Harry, like feathered Mercury, on his Godlike Errand. Forth iſſued Mr. James, Frank, and Andrew. And laſt came Mrs. Hannah, with the Houſe-Maid and Cordials.

Hannah ſtooped, in Haſte, and applied Hartſhorn to the Noſe of the Woman, who appeared wholly inſenſible. After ſome Time, her Boſom heaved with a long-riſing and ſubſiding Sigh, and her Eyes feebly opened, and immediately cloſed, again. Then Hannah and the Houſe-Maid, raiſing her gently between them, got a little of the Cordial into her Mouth, and bending her, backward, they obſerv'd that ſhe ſwallowed it. Then James, Frank, Andrew, and the Houſe-Maid, joining their Forces, lifted her up, and bore her, as eaſy as poſſible, toward the Houſe. While Harry caught up her Infant, as a Piſſmire does its favourite Embryo, in a Time of Diſtreſs, in order to lodge it in a Place of Protection and Safety.

[186] In the mean Time Mr. Fenton and Mrs. Hannah put their Hartſhorn, with great Tenderneſs, to the Noſtrils of the Stranger, and requeſted him to take a Sup of the Cordial. But, he, turning up his dim, though expreſſive Eyes, feebly cried, are you a Man or an Angel? and directly fainted away.

They rubbed his Temples, with the Spirits, and did their utmoſt to recover him, but a ſudden Guſt of grateful Paſſion had proved too ſtrong for his Conſtitution. On the Return of the Servants he was, alſo, carried in. A Phyſician was, inſtantly, ſent for; Beds were provided and warmed, in haſte; the new Gueſts were all, gently, undreſt and laid therein; and, being compelled to ſwallow a little Sack Whey, they recovered to a kind of languid Senſibility.

The Phyſician gave it, as his Opinion, that this unhappy Family were reduced to their preſent State, by Exceſs of Grief and Famine. That Nouriſhment ſhould be adminiſtered, in very ſmall Proportions. And, that they ſhould be kept as quiet, as poſſible, for a Fortnight at leaſt.

WHILE all imaginable Care is taking for the Recovery of theſe poor People. [187]We beg leave to return to the Affairs of their Protectors.

Friend.

A Plague upon your return! This is juſt like a Man in whoſe Company I once travelled; we were advanced on our Journey, in a fair and happy Road, when he took it into his Head to ride back again, in ſearch of an old Glove. Here you have raiſed my Curioſity to the higheſt, and equally diſtreſſed me in favour of this unhappy Family, when, in the Inſtant, you fly off from the Satisfaction expected. But here alſo, I preſume, you are upon Honour; you are entruſted with Secrets, and would not for the World betray them to your Readers.

Author.

Sir, you never were more miſtaken. I know nothing at all of theſe People's Affairs. As ſoon as they are able they will ſpeak for themſelves. I know of no Advantage that they can get by their Silence, whatever they may derive from your Compaſſion and Generoſity by telling their Caſe. But the Doctor, for the preſent, will not permit them. — Proceed, my Friend, I pray you. Your Patience will have but a very ſhort Trial.

CHAP. VI.

[188]

ABOUT a Month before this, Mr. Fenton had engaged one Mr. Vindex, the Schoolmaſter of the Town, to come, for an Hour every Evening, and initiate the two Boys in their Latin Grammar. But, he had a ſpecial Caution given him, with reſpect to the generous Diſpoſition of our Hero, which was ſaid to be induced to do any Thing, by Kindneſs; but to be hardened and rouzed into Oppoſition by Severity.

In about ten Days after the late Adventure, Mr. Fenton was called to London, where he was detained, about three Weeks, in ſettling his Books with his Dutch-Correſpondents; and in calling in a very large Arrear of Intereſt, that was due to him upon his Depoſits in the Funds.

During his Abſence, Mr. Vindex began to aſſume a more expanded Authority, and gave a freer Scope to the ſurly Terrors of his Station.

Ned was, by Nature, a very lively, but very petulant Boy; and when Vindex, [189]reproved him with the imperial Brow and Voice of the great Mogul, Ned, caſt upon him an Eye of ſuch ſignificant Contempt, as no Submiſſions or Sufferings, on the Part of the Offender, could ever after compenſate.

The next Day, Mr. Vindex returned, doubly armed, with a monſtrous birch Rod, in one Hand, and a Ferule in the other. The firſt he hung up, in Terrorem, as a Meteor is ſaid to hang in the Heavens, threatening future Caſtigation to the Children of Men. The ſecond he held, as determined upon preſent Action; nor was he unmindful of any Hook, whereon to hang a Fault; ſo that, travelling from Right to Left, and from Left to Right, he ſo warmed the Hands of the unfortunate Edward, as ruined the funny Oeconomy of his Countenance, and reduced him to a diſagreeable Partnerſhip with the Afflicted.

On the Departure of Vindex, though Ned's Drollery was diſmayed, his Reſentment was, by no Means, eradicated. For the Principle of Ned was wholly agreeable to the Motto of a very noble Eſcutcheon, and, Nemo me impune laceſſit, was a Maxim, of whoſe Impropriety not Saint Anthony, himſelf, could perſuade him.

[190] All Night he lay ruminating, and brooding on Miſchief in his Imagination, and, having formed the Outlines of his Plan toward Morning, he began to chuckle, and comfort himſelf, and exult in the Execution. He, then, revealed his Project to his Bedfellow, Mr. James, who was greatly tickled therewith, and promiſed to join in the Plot.

Full againſt the Portal, that opened upon the School-Room, there ſtood an ancient and elevated Chair, whoſe Form was ſufficiently expreſſive of its Importance. Mr. Vindex had ſelected this majeſtic Piece of Furniture as, alone, ſuitable to the Dignity of his exalted Station. For he judiciouſly conſidered that, if Thrones and Benches were taken from among Men, there would be an End of all Dominion and Juſtice upon Earth.

Through the Centre of the Seat, of this Chair of Authority, Ned got Mr. James to drill a ſmall Hole, not diſcernible, except on a very minute Scrutiny. He then provided a cylindrial Stick of about ſix Inches in length, to one End of which he faſtened a Piece of Lead, and, in the other End he fixed the Head of a large Needle. This Needle had been a Glover's, of approved [191]Mettle, keen, and poliſhed, and three-ſquare, toward the Point, for a quick and ready Penetration of tough Leather. He, next, faſtened two ſmall Chords, tranſverſly, to the leaden Extremity of the Stick, and, James aſſiſting, they turned the Chair with the Bottom upward, and tacked the four Ends of the Chords, in ſuch a manner, as anſwered to the four Cardinal Points of the Compaſs; while the Stick remained ſuſpended in an upright Direction, with the Point of the Needle juſt, ſo far, through the Drill, as put it upon a Level with the Surface of the Seat. Laſtly, they faſtened a long, and well waxed, Thread about the Middle of the Stick, and, drawing this Thread over the upper Rung, they dropped the End of it, juſt under Ned's Stool; and replaced the Seat of Learning in its former Poſition.

Greatly did Ned parade it, when, on Trial, he found that his Machine anſwered to a Miracle; for, the Stick being reſtrained from any Motion, ſave that in a Direction to the Zenith; on the ſlighteſt Twitch of the Thread, the Needle, inſtantly, mounted four Sixths of two Inches above the Surface of the Seat, and was, as quickly, recalled by the Revulſion of the Lead.

[192] At the appointed Hour of Magiſterial Approach, in comes Mr. Vindex. Maſter Harry and Ned are called. Each ſeizes his Book; and takes his Seat as uſual in a Line nearly, diagonal to the right and left Corner of the Chair of Authority. Mr. Vindex aſſumes the Chair. But, ſcarce was he down, when Ned gives the premeditated Intimation to his Piercer, and up bounces Vindex, and gives two or three Capers, as though he had been ſuddenly ſtung by a Tarantula. He ſtares wildly about; puts his Hand behind him, with a Touch of tender Condolance; returns to the Chair; peers all over it with Eyes of the moſt prying Inſpection; but, not truſting to the Teſtimony of his occular Senſe, in a Caſe that, ſo very feelingly, refuted its Evidence, he moved his Fingers over and over every Part of the Surface; but found all ſmooth and fair, in Spight of the late ſenſible Demonſtration to the contrary.

Down again, with ſlow Caution, ſubſided Mr. Vindex, reconnoitring the Premiſſes, to the right Hand, and to the left.

As his Temper was not, now, in the moſt duleet Diſpoſition; he, firſt, looked ſternly at Ned, and, then turning toward Harry, with an Eye that ſought Occaſion for preſent Quarrel, he queſtioned him, [193]moroſely, on ſome Articles of his Leſſon. When Ned, not enduring ſuch an Indignity to the Patron of his Life and Fortunes, gave a ſecond Twitch, with better Will, and much more lively than at firſt; and up, again, ſprung Vindex, with redoubled Vigour and Action, and bounded, plunged, and pranced about the Room, as bewitch'd. He glared, and ſearched all about, with a frantic Penetration, and pored into every Corner for the viſible or inviſible Perpetrators of theſe Miſchiefs. He, now, began to imagine that ſome Devil wanted a Pincuſhion, and propoſed no other, for the Purpoſe, than his capacious Material.

In this Thought, he retreated to the next Chamber, ſtripped off his Clothes, his Shoes, and Breeches, and, to know whether a Lodgment had been duely made; he groped for the Heads of the ſuppoſed Weapons. He next ſearched his Breeches, and every Skirt and poſterior Fold of Coat and Waiſtcoat. But, finding the Coaſts clear of any Enſigns of Hoſtility, he writhed and twiſted his Head and Eyes to this Side and to that to diſcern, if poſſible, the Devaſtations that had been made in the Field of Honour; when, hearing a little Titter in the neighbouring School Room, he began to ſmell a Fox, and, dreſſing himſelf again, with a malignant [194]Determination of better Note for the Future, he returned with a Countenance of diſſembled Placability, and, reſuming his Chair, began to examine the Boys, with a Voice apparently tuned by good-Temper and Affection.

During this ſhort Serene, poor Ned happened to make a little Trip in his Rudiments; when Vindex turned, and cried, to our Hero, Maſter Harry, my Dear, be ſo kind to get up and reach me you Ferrule.

Theſe Words had not fully paſſed the Lips of the luckleſs Pedagogue, when Ned plucked the String with his utmoſt Force, and Vindex thought himſelf, at leaſt, impaled on the Spot. Up he ſhot, once more, like a ſudden Pyramid of Flame. The Ground could no longer retain him, he ſoared aloft, roared, raved, curſed, and ſwore, like a thouſand Infernals. While Ned, with an Aſpect of the moſt condoling Hypocricy, and Words, broke by a Tone of Mourning, tenderly inquired of his Ailments.

Vindex turned upon him an Eye of jealous Malignity, and taking a ſudden Thought, he flew to the Scene of his repeated Infliction, and, turning up the Bottom of the Seat of Pain, this complicated Effort of extraordinary Genius lay [195]revealed, and expoſed to vulgar Contemplation.

He firſt examined, minutely, into the Parts and Conſtruction of this wonderful Machinery, whoſe Efficacy he ſtill, ſo feelingly, recollected. He then, drew the String; and admired, with what a piercing Agility the Needle could be actuated by ſo diſtant a Hand. And, laſtly, and deliberately, he tore away, Piece by Piece, the whole Compoſition, as his raſcally Brethren, the Turks, have alſo done, in their Antipathy to all the Monuments of Arts, Genius, and Learning throughout the Earth.

In the mean while, our Friend Edward ſat trembling and frying in his Skin. All his Drollery had forſaken him; nor had he a ſingle Caſt of Contrivance, for evading the Mountain of Miſchiefs that he ſaw impending. How indeed could he palliate? what had he to hope or plead in mitigation of the Penalty? where, in the Party, ſo highly offended, he ſaw his Judge and his Executioner.

Mr. Vindex had now the Ball wholly at his own Foot, and, that Ned was ever to have his Turn again, was a Matter no way promiſed by preſent Appearances.

[196] Vindex, at length, looked ſmilingly about him, with much Fun in his Face, but more Vengeance at his Heart. Mr. Edward, ſaid he, perhaps you are not yet apprized of the Juſtice of the Jewiſh Laws, that claim an Eye for an Eye, and a Breech for a Breech; but I, my Child, will fully inſtruct you in the Fitneſs and Propriety of them.

Then, reaching at the Rod, he ſeized his ſhrinking Prey, as a Kite truſſes a Robin; he laid him, like a little Sack acroſs his own Stool, off go the Breeches, and, with the left Hand he holds him down, while the Right is laid at him with the Application of a Woodman who reſolves to clear Part of the Foreſt before Noon.

Harry, who was no way privy to the Machination of the Needle, now approached, and interpoſed in behalf of his unhappy Servant. He petitioned, he kneeled, he wept; but his Prayers and Tears were caſt to the Winds and the Rocks, till Vindex had reduced the Poſteriors of poor Ned, to a Plight little different from thoſe of Saint Bartholemew.

Mr. Vindex juſtly deemed that he had, now, given a Leſſon, of ſuch ample Inſtruction, [197]as might diſpenſe with his Preſence for ſome Days at leaſt.

In the mean Time, the Scalping of Ned's Bottom held him confined to his Bed, where he had full Time, and Leiſure, to contrive, with one End, a juſt and worthy Retribution for the Sufferings of the other.

Harry went, often, to ſit, and condole with Ned in this the Seaſon of his Calimity; and, as he had, now, conceived a ſtrong Averſion to the Pedagogue, on Account of his Barbarity; he offered to aſſiſt his Friend in any Meaſures deemed adequate to the Stripes and Injuries he had received.

The Houſe of Mr. Vindex was a large and old-faſhioned Building, with a ſteep Flight of Stone-Stairs, and a ſpacious Landing-place before the Door. Ned was again on his Legs, the Night was exceſſive dark, and the Family of the Preceptor had juſt finiſhed an early Supper.

About this Time, a gentle Rapping was heard, and a Servant, opening the Door, looked this Way, and that Way, and called out repeatedly, to know who was there; but, no Voice replying, he retired and ſhut all to again. Scarce was he [196] [...] [197] [...] [198]re-enter'd when he hears Rap, rap, rap, rap. The Fellow's Anger was now kindled, and, opening the Door ſuddenly, he bounced out at once, in order to ſeize the Run-away. But, ſeeing no Creature, he began to feel a coming Chilneſs, and his Hairs to ſtir, as tho' each had got the Life of an Eel. Back he ſlunk, cloſed the Door with the greateſt Tenderneſs, and crept down to reveal a Scantling of his Fears to his Fellows in the Kitchen.

Now, though Men and Maids laugh'd, heartily, at the Apprehenſions of Hodge; they yet reſented this Inſult on their Houſe, as they called it, and, getting all up together in a Group, they ſlily, crouded behind the Door, with the Latch in one of their Hands, ready to iſſue, in an Inſtant, and detect the Delinquents.

They were not ſuffered to freeze. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Open fly's the Door, and out ruſh the Servants. Nothing appear'd. They all ſtood, ſilent, and aſtoniſhed beyond Meaſure. Some, however, with outward Bravade but inwards Tremblings, went ſearching, along the Walls, and behind the Poſts for ſome Lurcher. Again, they gathered to the Landing-place, and ſtood, whiſperingly debating what this might be. When, to the inexpreſſible Terror and Diſcomfiture [199]of all preſent, the ſpontaneous Knocker aſſumed ſudden Life and Motion; and gave ſuch a Peal and Alarm to their Eyes and Ears, as put every Senſe and Reſolution to the Rout, and in they ruſhed, again, one on the Back of t'other, and clapped to the Door, as in the Face of a Hoſt of purſuing Daemons.

Mr. Vindex and his Lady, for ſome Time paſt, had been ſitting oppoſite, and nodding over a Fire in the back Parlour, where they returned each other's Salute, with the greateſt good Manners and Punctuality imaginable. He now ſtarted, on hearing the Ruſtling in the Hall, and angrily called to know what was the Matter.

Vindex, from the Prejudice of Education during his Infancy, had conceived the utmoſt Spight to all Spectres and Hobgoblins, inſomuch, that he wiſhed to deprive them of their very Exiſtence; and laboured to perſuade himſelf, as well as others, of their Nonentity, but Faith proved too ſtrong, within him, for all his verbal Parade of avowed Infidelity.

While the Servants, with pale Faces and ſhort Breath, made their Relation, the magiſterial Philoſopher did ſo ſneer, and, contemptuouſly, toſs this Way and t'other, and throw himſelf back, in ſuch [200]affected Fits of Laughter, as nothing could be like it. Till, bouncing, at the Sound of another Peal, he muſtered the whole Family, Boaders and all, to about ſeventeen in Number, together with Madam Vindex who would not be left ſole; and now they appeared ſuch an Army as was ſufficient to face any ſingle Devil, at leaſt, and, forth they iſſued, and filled the Landing place, leaving the Door on the Jar.

Here, Mr. Vindex turned, and, with his Face toward the Knocker thus addreſſed the Aſſembly.

My honeſt, but ſimple Friends, quoth he, can any Thing perſuade ye, that a Spirit, or Ghoſt, as ye call it, a Breath or Being of Air, a ſomething, or nothing, that is neither tangible, nor viſible, can lay hold of that which is? Or are ye ſuch Idiots as to imagine, that you Knocker, (for he did not yet venture to touch it) a Subſtance, of ſolid and molten Braſs, without Members or Organs, or any internal Syſtem or Apparatus for the Purpoſe, can, yet, be indued with Will, Deſign, or any Kind of Intelligence, when the leaſt locomotive Faculty, in the meaneſt Reptile, muſt, of Neceſſity, be provided with an infinitely varied Mechaniſm, of Nerves, Tubes, Reſervoirs, Levers, and Pulleys [201]for the Nonce. I ſhould diſcredit my own Senſes on any Appearance contrary to ſuch palpable Demonſtration. In all Lights — Soft — break we off — Look where it comes again — For, in this Inſtant of Affirmation, ſo peremptory and concluſive; the Knocker, as in Contempt and bitter Deſpight to Philoſophy, ſo loudly refuted every Syllable of the Premiſſes, as left neither Time nor Inclination, to Vindex, for a Reply. But, ruſhing deſperately forward, he burſt in at the Portal, with ſuch as had Preſence of Mind to take Advantage of the opening, and, turning again, and ſhutting the Door violently in the Face of Half of his Family, he ran and threw himſelf into his Chair, in an Agony of Spirits.

The Servants and Boarders, whom Vindex had ſhut out, not abiding to ſtay in Preſence of the Object of their Terrors, tumbled, in a Heap, down the Stairs, and gathering themſelves up, again, ran, diverſly, to communicate, to all their Neighbours and Acquaintance, the Tidings of the enchanted Knocker. Their contagious Looks and Words gave the Pannic, throughout; but, Curioſity prevailing above Apprehenſion, the Town began to gather, though, firſt, in thin Parties, and at a cautious Diſtance; till the Croud, encreaſing, took Heart and [202]Reſolution from Number, and venturing up a Step or two of the Stairs, and being ſtill preſs'd and urged forward by new Comers from behind, they, at length, filled the whole Flight and the Landing-place, and one of them growing bold enough to lift his Hand toward the Knocker, the Knocker generouſly, convinced him that no Aſſiſtance was wanting. Rap, rap, rap, rap. Rap, rap, rap, rap. Rap, rap, rap, rap. Back recoil the foremoſt Ranks, caſting off and tumbling over the Ranks behind. No one ſtay'd to give Help or Hand to Friend or Brother, but, riſing, or ſcrambling off on all Fours; each made the beſt of his Way to the firſt Aſſylum; and, in leſs than ten Seconds, there was not a Mouſe ſtirring throughout the Street.

If I had the Ill-nature of moſt Authors, who ſeldom communicate any Thing worthy the Knowledge of the Public, I might, alſo, leave the foregoing Aenigma to be ſolved, or rather made more implicit, in ſuch ways as Philoſophy might happen to account for. But, in Compaſſion to the Pains of a labouring Imagination, I chuſe to deliver my Reader, with all poſſible Eaſe and Diſpatch.

The Fact is, that theſe aſtoniſhing and tremendous Phaenomena, that diſcomfited [203]little City, alarmed the Country round, and reſuſcitated the Stories and Legends of the old Women of all the Pariſhes from Barnet to London, was the whole and ſole Contrivance of our Hero's petulant Foundling, during a nightly Lucubration.

Ned had, accordingly, imparted his Plan of Operations to Harry, and Harry had engaged Mrs. Hannah in the Plot.

Now, Mrs. Hannah had a Houſe, in a narrow Part of the Street, juſt oppoſite to that of Mr. Vindex, where her Niece and an old Servant reſided. This Houſe was narrow, but of the Height of four Stories; and, on the ſaid memorable Night, Ned dropped the End of a Bottom of ſmall Twine from the Garret Window, which Hannah took, acroſs the Way, and faſtened, with a double Knot, to the Knocker of Vindex's Door. And, now, it is twenty to one, that if Vindex's Family and the reſt of the Neighbourhood had been, even thus far, let into the Secret, they would not have been, altogether, ſo much alarmed at the Conſequences.

I have read of Generals who could gain, but not maintain Conqueſts; and of Women who could keep all Secrets but their own. Thus it happen'd to Ned. His Vanity was, at leaſt, on a Level with his [204]Ingenuity; he was ſo elated with the Succeſs of his recent Stratagem, that he boaſted of it to ſome, and half whiſpered it to others; till it came to the Ears of the much exaſperated Vindex. Vindex, in the firſt Heat, and very Boil of his Paſſions, ſnatches up a huge Rod, juſt cut from that Tree whoſe bare Name ſtrikes Terror through all our Seminaries of Learning, and, taking with him one of his Boarders, he marches directly down to the Houſe of Mr. Fenton, and, thus formidably armed, he enters the fatal School-room.

Ned, by great good Fortune for himſelf, was then abſent. But, our Hero happening to be there, Vindex, inſtantly, ſhut the Door and called him to Taſk.

Maſter Harry, ſays he, did you know any Thing of the ſtrange Knocking at my Door, laſt Tueſday Night? To this Queſtion, Harry, who was too valiant to be tempted to tell a Lye through Fear, without Heſitation, anſwered in the Affirmative. You did, Sirrah, cried the Pedagogue, and have you the Impudence, alſo, to confeſs it to my Face? Here, Jacky, down with his Breeches, and horſe him for me directly.

Jack was a luſty lubberly Boy, about ten Years of Age, and ſtooping to unbutton [205] Harry, according to Order, our Hero gave him ſuch a ſudden Fiſt, in the Mouth, as daſhed in two of his Teeth, that then happened to be moulting, and ſet him a crying and bleeding after a piteous Manner. Vindex then roſe into tenfold Fury, and took our Hero in Hands, himſelf, and, notwithſtanding that he cuffed and kicked and ſought it moſt manfully, Vindex, at length, unbuttoned his Breeches, and ſet him, in due Form, on the Back of his Boarder.

The Pedagogue, at firſt, gave him the three accuſtomed Strokes, as hard as he could draw. So much, my Friend, ſays he, is for your own Share of the Burden; and, now, tell me who were your Confederates and Abettors in this fine Plot? That I will never tell you, deliberately and reſolutely anſwered our Hero. What, ſhall I be bullied and out-braved, replied the frantic Savage, by ſuch a one as you? You little ſtubborn Villain, I will flea you alive, I will carbonade you on the Spot. So ſaying, he laid at him, as though he had been a Sheaf of Wheat; while Harry, indignantly, endured the Torture, and, holding, in, his Breath, that he might not give Vindex, the Satisfaction of a Groan, he determined to periſh rather than betray.

[206] In the mean Time, Ned had peeped in at the Keyhole, and, ſpying the Situation and Plight of his loved Patron, he ran to Mrs. Hannah and imparted the horrid Tidings. Hannah roſe, with all the Wrath of Tiſiphone in her Countenance, and, flying to the School-room, ſhe ruſhed violently againſt the Door, burſt it open in a twinkling, and, ſpringing forward, faſtened every Nail ſhe had in the Face and Eyes of Vindex, and tore away and cuffed at a fearful Rate. Jack at this Period, had let his Rider to the Ground, when Harry, catching at a Sword, that hung againſt the Wainſcot, whipt it down, and drawing it from the Sheath, as quick as Lightning, he ſprung at Vindex, in order to run him through the Body; but, happily, not having had the Patience to put up his Breeches, they trammelled him in his Advance, and he fell proſtrate, with the Sword, in his Hand, which reached the Leg of the Pedagogue and gave him a ſlight Wound, juſt as he was endeavouring to make his Way through the Door. Jack had, already, made his Eſcape, and the mauled Preceptor ſcampered after, with his Ears much better warmed, and his Temper better cooled, than when he entered.

[207] Harry bore his Misfortune, with a Sort of ſullen, though ſhamefaced, Philoſophy. But, every other Member, of this honourable Family, almoſt adored him for the bloody Proof that he had given of his Virtue; and vowed unpitying Vengeance on the ungenerous Vindex.

During the above Tranſactions, the Strangers, whom Mr. Fenton had received into his Houſe, had been tended with great Humanity and were, now, on the Recovery.

Mr. James, on converſing with the Head of this little Family. Obſerved that he was an exceeding ſenſible Perſon, and had provided him with a decent, though caſt, Suit of his Maſters; and had alſo, with the Aſſiſtance of Mrs. Hannah, put his Wife and little Boy into clean and ſeemly Apparel.

As James's Invention was on the Rack to get adequate Satisfaction on the baſe ſpirited Vindex, he went to conſult his new Friend, who dropped a Tear of Generoſity and Admiration, on hearing the Story of Harry's Heroiſm and Nobility of Soul.

By his Advice, Mr. James diſpatched a Meſſenger to a Druggiſt, at London, and [208]to ſeveral other Shops for a ſundry Apparatus, and, having all Things in Readineſs, and, Harry being now able to bear a Part in the Play; James ſent a ſtrange Porter to Vindex, with Compliments from his Maſter, as though he were juſt come home, and requeſted to ſpeak with him.

Vindex, accordingly, comes, and knocks. The Door opens, he enters, and it inſtantly ſhuts upon him. He ſtarts back with Horror as at the Sight of Meduſa. He perceives the Hall all in Black, without a ſingle Ray, ſave what proceeded from a ſickly Lamp, that made the Gloom viſible. He is ſuddenly ſeized upon by two robuſt Devils cover'd over with painted Flames. They drag him to the School-Room, but, O Terror of Terrors! he knows the Place of his priſtine Authority no more. He beholds a Hell more fearful that his Fancy had yet fram'd. The Cieling ſeemed to be vaulted with Serpents, Harpyes, and Hydras, that dropt livid Fire. On one Side ran Phlegeton, in Waves of burning Sulphur. And here, the Tiſiphone, Magaera, and Alecto, of the Heathens, appeared to contend for Frightfulneſs with Milton's Death and Sin. Four Fends, and two little Imps, at once laid their Fangs upon him, and would have drag'd him to the Ground. But the Pedagogue was a ſturdy athletic Fellow, and cuffed, [209]and ſcratched, and roared it out moſt manfully. The Devil, however, proving too ſtrong for the Sinner, he was caſt proſtrate to the Earth; and, being left, in Retroſpection, as bare as Father Time, ſome ſat upon his Shoulders to keep him down, while others, on each Side, alternately keeping Time, like the Threſhers of Barley, gave our Flogger ſuch a Scoring; as imprinted on his Memory to the laſt State of Magiſtracy, a fellow-Feeling for the Sufferings of petty Delinquents.

Being all out breathed in turns, they remitted from their Toil; and, now, appeared to be a Set of the merrieſt Devils that ever were aſſociated. They faſtened the Clothes of the diſconſolate Vindex, about his Neck, with his own Garters; and, having manacled his Hands before him, they turned him looſe to the Street. While he, with a wonderful Preſence of Mind in the midſt of his Terrors, raiſed his Hands, the beſt he could, to cover his Face and hurried homeward; judiciouſly recollecting, that Forty nine, in Fifty, would recognize the one End, who would not recognize the other, eſpecially in the preſent Pickle.

Within a few Days, after this Adventure, Mr. Fenton returned. At the firſt Sight of one another, he and his Harry, [210]grew together for near Half an Hour. He, then, addreſſed every Member of his Family, One by One; and, with a familiar Goodneſs, inquired after their ſeveral Healths and Concerns. He alſo aſked after his late Gueſts, and deſired to ſee them; but, on Mr. James's Intimation, that he had ſomewhat of Conſequence to impart to him, they retired to the next Room.

Here, James made him a minute Recital of the preceding Adventures; and ſet forth, in due Contraſt, the Baſeneſs and Barbarity of Vindex on the one Part; and the unaſſailable Worthineſs of his Harry on the other. While the Praiſe, of this choſen of the old Gentleman's Soul, ſunk, like the Balm of Gilead, upon his wounded Mind, and almoſt eradicated every Memorial of former Grief, and planted a new Spring of Hope and Joy in their Room.

The Table being ſpread for Dinner, Mr. Fenton ſent to deſire that the Stranger and his little Family ſhould join Company. They came, according to Order, but entered, evidently overcome with a Weight of Shame and Gratitude too grievous to be borne.

Mr. Fenton ſaw their Oppreſſion, and felt the whole Burden upon his own Shoulders. He, accordingly, was intereſted and [211]ſolicitous in the Removal which he effected with all that Addreſs of which his Humanity had made him a great Maſter.

Through the Enfoldings of the Stranger's Modeſty, Mr. Fenton diſcerned many Things preceding the vulgar Rank of Men. Mr. Clement, ſaid he, I am aſtoniſhed, beyond Meaſure, that a Perſon of Letters, as you are, and, who has ſo much of the Gentleman in his Perſon and Manner, ſhould, yet, be reduced to ſuch Extremity; in a Chriſtian Country, and among a People diſtinguiſhed for their Humanity. There muſt be ſomething very ſingular and extraordinary in your Caſe. And, this Night, if you are at Leiſure, and that the Recital is not diſagreeable to you; you would oblige me by your Story.

Sir, anſwered Mr. Clement, ſince my Life is yours, you have, ſurely, a Right to an Account of your Property. Whenever you think proper, I will chearfully obey you.

Mr. Fenton now roſe, and ſtepped into Town; and, calling upon a Neighbour whom he took to the Tavern, he ſent for Mr. Vindex who came upon the Summons.

[212] Mr. Vindex, ſays he, pray take your Seat. I am ſorry, Mr. Vindex, for the Treatment you have got in my Houſe, and ſtill ſorrier that you got it, ſo very deſervedly.

I have long thought, Mr. Vindex, that the Method of School-maſters, in the Inſtruction of our Children, is altogether the Reverſe of what it ought to be. They, generally, lay hold on the human Conſtitution, as a Pilot lays hold of the Rudder of a Ship, by the Tail, by the ſingle Motive, I ſay, of Fear alone.

Now, as Fear has no Concern with any Thing but Self, it is the moſt confined, moſt malignant, and the baſeſt, though the ſtrongeſt, of all Paſſions.

The Party, who is poſſeſſed with it, will liſten to nothing but the Dictates of his own Terror, nor ſcruple any Thing that may cover him from the Evil apprehended. He will prevaricate, and lye; if that Lye is queſtioned he will vouch it by Perjury; and, if he happens to do an Injury, he will be tempted to commit Murder to prevent the Effects of Reſentment.

Fear never was a Friend to the Love of God, or Man, to Duty, or Conſcience [113]Truth, Probity, or Honour. It, therefore, can never make a good Subject, a good Citizen, or a good Soldier; and, leaſt of all, a good Chriſtian. Except the Devils, who believe and tremble, are to be accounted good Chriſtians.

How very different is the Leſſon which our Maſter CHRIST teacheth, who commandeth us, not to fear what Man can do unto us; to ſmile in Sickneſs and Calamity; to riſe ſuperior to Pain and Death; and to regard nothing, but as it leads to the Goal of that Immortality which his Goſpel has brought to Light.

There is, Mr. Vindex, but one Occaſion, wherein Fear may be uſeful, in Schools or Common-wealths. That is, when it is placed as a Guard againſt Evil, and appears, with its Enſignia of Rods, Ropes, and Axes, to deter all, who behold, from approaching thereto.

But this, Mr. Vindex, is far from being the ſole Occaſion on which School-maſters apply the Motive of Fear and Caſtigation. They aſſociate the Ideas of Pain to thoſe Leſſons and Virtues which the Pleaſure of Encouragement ought, alone, to inculcate. They, yet, more frequently apply the Laſh, for the Indulgence of their own Weakneſſes, and for the Gratification of [114]the Virulence of their own naughty Paſſions. And I have ſeen a Giant of a Pedagogue, raving, raging, and foaming over a Group of ſhrinking Infants; like a Kite over a crouching Parcel of young Turkeys.

There are, I admit ſome Parents and Preceptors who annex other Motives to that of the Rod. They promiſe Money, gaudy Clothes, and Sweet Meats to Children; and, in their Manner of expatiating on the Uſe and Value of ſuch Articles; they often excite, in their little Minds, the Appetites of Avarice, of Vanity, and Senſuality. They, alſo, ſometimes add the Motive of what they call Emulation, but which, in Fact, is rank Envy, by telling one Boy how much happier, or richer, or finer, another is, than himſelf.

Now, though Envy and Emulation are often confounded, in Terms; there are not two Things more different, both in reſpect to their Object, and in reſpect to their Operation. The Object of Envy is the Perſon, and not the Excellence, of any one; but the Object of Emulation is Excellence, alone; as when CHRIST, exciting us to be emulous of the Excellence of God himſelf, bids us be perfect, as our Father which is in Heaven is perfect. The Operation of Envy is to pull others down. [215]But the Act of Emulation is to exalt ourſelves to ſome Eminence or Height propoſed. The Eyes of Envy are ſore and ſickly, and hate to look at the Light. But Emulation has the Eye of an Eagle and ſoars, while it gazes in the Face of the Sun.

Were Tutors half as ſolicitous, throughout their Academies, to make Men of Worth, as to make Men of Letters; there are a hundred pretty Artifices, very obvious to be contrived and practiſed, for the Purpoſe. They might inſtitute Caps of Shame, and Wreaths of Honour, in their Schools. They might have little Medals, expreſſive of particular Virtues, to be fixed on the Breaſt of the Atchiever, till forfeited by Default. And on the Report of any Boy's having performed a ſignal Action of Good-Nature, Friendſhip, Gratitude, Generoſity, or Honour; a Place of Eminence might be appointed for him to ſit on, while all the reſt of the School ſhould bow, in Deference, as they paſſed. Such Arts, as theſe, I ſay, with that diſtinguiſhing Affection, and Approbation, which all Perſons ought to ſhew to Children of Merit, would ſoon make a new Nation of Infants, and, conſequently, of Men.

When you, Mr. Vindex, iniquitouſly, took upon you to chaſtiſe my moſt noble [216]and moſt incomparable Boy, you, firſt, whipt him for his gallant and generous Avowal of the Truth. And, next, you barbarouſly flead him; becauſe he refuſed to betray thoſe who had confided in his Integrity.

When I behold ſo many Scoundrels walking, openly, throughout the Land, who are ſtiled your Honour, and your Honour, and who, impudently uſurp the moſt exalted of all Characters, the Character of a Gentleman. I no longer wonder, when I reflect, that they have been principled, or rather unprincipled, by ſuch Tutors as Mr. Vindex.

The merry Devils, Mr. Vindex, who took you in Hand, were not of a Species, ſo alienated from Humanity, as you might imagine. They have, therefore, appointed me their Vehicle of ſome Smart-Money, in Recompence, but, deſire no further Advantage from your Company or Inſtructions.

So ſaying, Mr. Fenton put a Purſe of five and twenty Guineas into the Hands of the Pedagogue, and withdrew without ſpeaking another Word.

Friend.
[217]

Upon my Credit, this Mr. Fenton—I long to know ſomething more of him—he is a ſenſible kind of a Man, and has given us ſome very valuable Hints upon Education.—But, may I be ſo free with you as to drop ſome general Remarks upon the whole of what I have read?

Author.

Free, Sir?—by all Means—as free as you pleaſe, to be ſure—believe me, you cannot do me a greater Favour.

Fr.

Why, there's the Plague on't now,—You begin to kindle already.—Ah, were you Authors to know the thouſandth Part of the Liberties that are taken behind your Backs, you would learn to bear, with more Humility, a gentle Admonition though uttered to your Faces.—Few, indeed, have the Generoſity, or even Humanity to intimate what they themſelves think, or what the World ſpeaks of you. We are ſeldom over forward to ſay any Thing that might give Diſpleaſure to others, becauſe we like that others ſhould be pleaſed with ourſelves; but, in your Abſence, we pay ourſelves largely for our Taciturnity in your Preſence; and I have often been in Company, [218]where the Intimates and Confidents of you Authors, have depreciated and ridiculed the very ſame Paſſages, which they applauded with Cries and Claps in your Cloſets. The World, my Friend, has ſubſtituted good Manners in the Place of good Nature, whoever conforms to the former is diſpenſed with from any Obſervance of the latter. Shall I add, (for the Misfortune of you Authors,) that there is a Set of Men who, at once, diſpenſe with common Manners and common Humanity. They go under the Name of Crities, and muſt be Men of Wealth, that the Deference paid to Fortune, may give a Sort of Stamp and Currency to the Droſs of their Erudition. In the ſtricteſt Senſe, indeed, they may be called Men of Letters, their Study, as well as Capacity, being nearly confined to a juſt or orthographical Diſpoſition of the Alphabet. Their Buſineſs is to reconoitre the Outworks of Genius, as they have no Key to the Gates of Nature or Sentiment. They ſnuff Faults from afar, as Crows ſcent Carrion, and delight to pick, and to prey, and to dwell upon them. They enter, like Waſps, upon the Gardens of Literature, not to reliſh any Fragrance of ſelect any Sweets, but to pamper their Malevolence with every Thing that ſavours of Rankneſs or Offence. Happily for them. their Sagacity does not tend to the Diſcovery of Merit, [219]in ſuch a Caſe, a Work of Genius would give them the Spleen for a Month, or poſſibly depreſs their Spirits beyond Recovery.

To theſe high and dreaded Lords Juſticiaries, the Critics, Authors deem it incumbent to ſubmit the Products of their Lucubrations; not in the Proſpect of any Advantage from their Advice or Animadverſions; neither in the Hopes of acquiring their Friendſhip or Patronage; but merely to ſooth and deprecate the Effects of their Malignity. Accordingly, I have been preſent, when ſome of theſe Dictators have been preſented with a Manuſcript, as with an humble Petition; they have thereupon aſſumed the Chair, as a Judge aſſumes the Bench when a Criminal is called before him, not in order to Trial or Hearing, but to Sentence and Condemnation. To what Scenes of Mortification have I been Witneſs on ſuch Occaſions! to what a State of Abatement, of Abaſement, of Annihilation, have theſe Entertainers of the Public been depreſſed!—‘I am ſorry, Sir, to tell you that this will not do.—A few Attempts here and there, but that will not compenſate—Here again how injudicious, abſurd, unpardonable!—Lord, Sir, you ſhould have conſidered that when a Man ſits down to write for the Public, the leaſt [220]Compliment they expect from him is that he ſhould think—Here, my Friend, I have ſeen enough, I cannot affront my Judgment ſo much as either to recommend or patronize your Performance, all I can do for you is to be filent on the Subject, and permit Fools to approve who have not Senſe to diſcern.’ —Thus do theſe Critics-paramount, with the Delicacy and Compaſſion of the Torturers of the Inquiſition, ſearch out all the Seats of Senſibility and Self-Complacence, in order to ſting with the more quick and killing Poignancy.

Now, my dear Friend, as you have not applied for the Favour of theſe eſtabliſhed Arbitrators of Genius and Literature, you are not to expect the leaſt Mercy from them, and I am alſo free to tell you that I know of no Writer who lies more open to their Attacks. You are exceſſively incorrect; your Works, on the one Hand, have not the leaſt Appearance of the Limae labor; nor, on the other, have they that Eaſe which ought to attend the Haſte with which they ſeem to be written. Again, you are extremely unequal and diſproportioned; one Moment you ſoar where no Eye can ſee, and ſtrait deſcend with Rapidity to creep in the vulgar Phraſe of Chamber Maids and Children. Then you are ſo deſultory that we know not where [221]to have you; you no ſooner intereſt us in one Subject than you drag us, however reluctant, to another; in ſhort, I doubt whether you laid any kind of Plan before you ſet about the Building; but we ſhall ſee how your fortuitous Concourſe of Atoms will turn out.

Aut.

Do I want Nature?

Fr.

No.

Aut.

Do I want Spirit?

Fr.

Rather too much of Fire, at Times.

Aut.

Do I want Sentiment?

Fr.

Not altogether.

Aut.

Then, Sir, I ſhall be read, and read again, in deſpight of my own Defects, and of all that you and your Critics can ſay or do againſt me. The Truth is, that the Critics are very far from being Bugbears to me; they have always proved my Friends, my beſt Benefactors; they were the Firſt who writ me into any kind of Reputation; and I am more beholden to their Invectives, than I am to my own Genius, for any little Name I may have got in the World; all I have to fear is that they are already tired [222]of railing, and may not deem me worth their further Notice. — But pray, my good Sir, if you deſire that I ſhould profit by your Admonitions, ought you not to give me Inſtances of the Faults with which you reproach me?

Fr.

That would be Time and Labour altogether thrown away, as I have not the ſmalleſt Hope of bringing you to Confeſſion. You are a Diſputant, a Caſuiſt by your Education; you are equally ſtudied and practiſed in turning any Thing into nothing, or bringing all Things thereout. But don't flatter yourſelf that I have yet given you the Detail of Half your Faults; you are often paradoxical, and extremely peremptory and deſperate in your Aſſertions. In this very laſt Page you affirm that the Character of a Gentleman is the moſt revereable, the higheſt of all Characters.

Aut.

I did, Sir, I do affirm it, and will make it good.

Fr.

I knew it, Sir, I knew it, but don't chuſe, at preſent, to enter into the Diſcuſſion. At the next Pauſe, I ſhall willingly hear you on this Queſtion.

CHAP. VII.

[223]

ON his Return, he ordered a Fire and a Bottle of Wine into his Study, and ſent for Mr. Clement. Mr. Clement, ſays he, ſit down. I aſſure you, Mr. Clement, I am inclined to think very well of you. But, pray, let me have the Narrative of your Life and Manners, without Diſguiſe. An ingenuous Confeſſion and Senſe of paſt Errors, has ſomething in it, to me, full as amiable or more, than if a Man had never ſtray'd.

Sir, ſays Mr. Clement, I have, indeed, been faulty, very faulty, in my Intentions; though God has, hitherto, preſerv'd me from any very capital Act, and has, by your Hand, wonderfully brought me to this Day.

HISTORY OF THE MAN OF LETTERS.

BAR THOLOMEW CLEMENT, Sir, a Retailer of Hard Ware, on the Strand, is my Father. He was low-bred, [224]and, as I believe, of narrow Capacity; but, proceeding in, what they call, the Dog-Trot of Life, and, having a ſingle Eye to the making of Money, he became vaſtly rich, and has, now, a large Income, from Houſes and Ground Rents in the City of Weſtminſter, the Fruits and Acquiſition of his own Application.

I remember nothing of my Mother, except her Fondneſs for me, nor of her Character, except the Tears that I have ſeen my Father ſhed, when occaſional Circumſtances have brought her freſh to his Memory. She died, when I was in my ſeventh Year. I was their only ſurviving Child; and my Father transferred all his Tenderneſs, for her, to me.

The Love of my Father was not the mere Partiality or Prejudice of a Parent; it was not an Affection, he had a Paſſion for me, that could be equalled by nothing but his Vanity, in my behalf. He reſolved, he ſaid, that there ſhould be one Gentleman in the Family, and, with this View, he reſiſted his Deſire of having me, always, in his Sight, and ſent me to Weſtminſter School, and from thence to Cambridge-College, where I continued till I was twenty Years of Age, without any Thing happening, that was uncommon, or deſerving of your Attention.

[225] In the mean Time, my Father was as prodigal of his Purſe, toward me, as he was of his Careſſes. He had me with him, ev'ry Vacation. He viſited me, frequently, during Term; and ſeemed to loſe the better Half of his Exiſtence, when we parted.

He had infuſed into me a ſtrong Tincture of his own Vanity and Views. I loſt even a Portion of that Tenderneſs and Reſpect which I had felt, in his Regard. He was a Trader, a Mechanick, I ſighed for his reptile State; and I looked down upon him, as Icarus did on that very Father, from whom he had derived Wings for ſo exalted a Flight.

My Application, accordingly, was equal to my Ambition. I was not, merely, a Maſter, I was a Critic in the claſſical Languages. I reliſhed, and commented on the Beauties of the Greek and Latin Authors. Was a thorough Connoiſſeur, in the Cuſtoms and Manners of the Ancients, and could detect the ſlighteſt Tranſgreſſion of a Sculptor or Deſigner, in their folding of the Roman Toga. I alſo had the Honour to be intimate with all the Great of Antiquity, I frequently ſat, in Synod, with the whole Poſſe of Heathen Gods, on Olympus; and I kept them as [226]I imagined, in a kind of Dependence, by my perfect Knowledge of all their ſecret Lapſes and Miſtreadings. I had traced the Syſtem of Nature, from Ariſtotle and Pythagoras down to Epicurus and Lucretius, and from them down to Des Cartes, Gaſſendi, and Hobbes, and, I was ſo thorough paced an Adept in all the Subtleties of Logic; that I could confute, and change Sides, without loſing an Inch of the Ground that I had gained upon my Adverſary.

I now, imagined that I was arrived at the very Pinnacle of human Excellence, and that Fortune and Honour were within my Graſp, on either Hand. I looked on the Chancellorſhip; or Primacy, as Things that muſt come, in Courſe. And I was contriving ſome Station more adequate to the Height of my Merits and Ambition, when I received this Letter.

Son Hammel,

HAVE lately enquired into thy Life and Character, am ſorry to find them too bad to give Hope of Amendment. Have loſt my Money, and my Child. Thou haſt cut thyſelf from my Love. I have cut thee from my Fortune. To comfort myſelf, have taken a [227]Neighbour's Widow to Wife. Come not near me, I will not ſee thee. Would pray for thee if I did not think it in vain.

Bartholomew Clement.

For ſome Time after the receipt of this cruel Letter, I remained in a State of Stupidity. I could not believe the Teſtimony of my Senſes. I gave a kind of Diſcredit to all Things. But, awaking from this Lethargy into inexpreſſible Anguiſh, my Soul was rent by different and contending Paſſions.

Whatever Contempt I might have for the Station of my Father, I ſtill loved his Perſon better than Riches and Honours. But he loved me no more, he was gone, he was loſt; he was already dead and buried, at leaſt to me. I caſt myſelf on the Ground, I groaned, I wept aloud, I bewail'd him, as though he had lain a lifeleſs Corpſe, before me. At length having vented the firſt Ravings of my Paſſion; I roſe and wrote to my Father an Anſwer, of which this, in my Pocket-Book, is the Copy.

[228]
SIR,

IF you had not wiſhed to find thoſe Faults you ſent to ſeek after, in a Life that defies Malice and is wholly irreproachable, you would not have given Credit to Scoundrels who cannot judge of the Conduct of a Gentleman, nor have condemned your only Child, without Hearing or Defence.

In cutting me from your Fortune, you only cut me from what I deſpiſe, but, in cutting me from your Love, you have, unjuſtly, robbed me of that which no Fortune can repair. I ſee that you are, irretrievably, taken away from me. I ſhall never more behold my long indulgent and fond Father; and I ſhall not ceaſe to lament his Loſs with Tears of filial Affection. But, for this new Father, whoſe Heart could dictate ſo unnatural and inhuman a Letter, I equally diſclaim all Commerce and Concern with him. And, could it be poſſible that a Perſon, of my Talents and Abilities, ſhould be reduced to Indigence or Diſtreſs; you, Sir, are the very laſt Man upon Earth, to whom I would apply, or from whom I would deign to accept Relief.

[229] But if, on the other Hand, it ſhould pleaſe GOD, hereafter, to viſit your Hard-heartedneſs with Affliction and Poverty; and that I, like the Son of the Black-Smith, in the Days of our eighth Harry, ſhould ſtand next the Throne in Dignity and Honours; you will then find me deſirous of making you all Sorts of Submiſſions, you will then find the dutifulleſt, the fondeſt, and tendereſt of Children, in,

SIR,
Your little known and much injured, Hammel Clement.

Having thus vented the Guſts and Feelings of my Heart, I began, ſeriouſly, to think of the Courſe I ought to take; and conſidered London as the Sphere in which a Luminary would appear with the greateſt Luſtre.

I diſcharged my Servant. Sold my two Geldings. Diſpoſed of my Room, my Furniture, and moſt of my Books. And, having muſtered ſomewhat upward of three hundred and fifty Pounds, I lodged the £300 with a Cambridge Dealer, from [230]whom I took Bills on his Correſpondent in London; and ſet out, on my Expedition, in the firſt Stage.

I took cheap Lodgings, near Charing-Croſs; I was, altogether unknowing and unknown in that great City; and, reflecting that a hidden Treaſure cannot be duely eſtimated, I daily frequented Markham's Coffee-Houſe, amidſt a promiſcuous Reſort of Swords-men, Literati, Beaus, and Politicians.

Here, happening to diſtinguiſh myſelf, on a few Occaſions, where ſome Articles of ancient Hiſtory, or Tenet of Thales, or Law of Lycurgus, chanced to be in Queſtion; I began to be regarded with better Advantage.

An elderly Gentleman, one Day, who ſat attentive in a Corner, got up and whiſpered that he would be glad of my Company to take ſhare of a Pint in the next Room. I gratefully obeyed the Summons, and, when we had drank a Glaſs a Piece; Mr. Clement, ſays he, you appear to have but few Acquaintance, and may, poſſibly, want a Friend. My Fortune is ſmall, but, I have ſome Influence in this Town; and, as I have taken an Inclination to you, I ſhould be glad to ſerve you. If the Queſtion is not too free, pray, what [231]is your preſent Dependence, and Proſpect for Life?

Having, with a grateful Warmth, acknowledged his Goodneſs to me, I, ingenuouſly, confeſſed that my Circumſtances were very ſlender, and, that I ſhould be glad of any Place wherein I could be uſeful to myſelf and my Employer. And pray, ſays my Friend, what Place would beſt ſuit you? I hope, Sir, anſwered I, my Education has been ſuch, that, laying aſide the manual Crafts, there is not any Thing for which I am not qualified. I am greatly pleaſed to hear it, replied Mr. Goodville, and hope, ſoon, to bring you News that will not be diſagreeable.

Within a few Days, Mr. Goodville, again, entered the Coffee-houſe with a happy Aſpect. He beckoned me aſide. Clement, ſays he, I have the Pleaſure to tell you that I have brought you the Choice of two very advantageous Places. Mr. Giles, the Banker, wants a Clerk who can write a fine Hand, and has made ſome Proficiency in Arithmetic. And, my good Friend Mr. Tradewell, an eminent Merchant, would give large Encouragement to a Youth who underſtands the Italian Method of Book-keeping; as his Buſineſs is very extenſive and requires the ſhorteſt [232]and cleareſt Manner of Entry and Reference.

My Friend here pauſed; and I bluſhed, hung down my Head, and was wholly confounded. At length, I anſwered, heſitatingly, Perhaps, Sir, you have happened on the only two Articles, in the Univerſe, (Mechanics, as I ſaid, apart,) of which I have no Knowledge. Well, well, my Boy, ſays he, don't be diſcouraged, I will try what further may be done in your Behalf.

Within about a Fortnight after, Mr. Goodville ſent me a Note to attend him at his Lodgings, in Red-lion Square. I went, fluſhed with reviving Hope. My Child, ſaid he, as I entered, I have, now, brought you the Offer of three different Places; and, ſome one of them, as I truſt, muſt ſurely fit you.

Our Eaſt-india Company propoſe to make a Settlement on the Coaſt of Coromandel, and are inquiſitive after ſome Youths who have made a Progreſs in Geometry, and are, more eſpecially, ſtudied in the Science of Fortification. There is, alſo, the Colonel of a Regiment, an old Intimate of mine, who is going on foreign Service, and he, in Truth, applied to me, to recommend a Perſon who was ſkilled in the Mechanic Powers, and, more particularly, [233]who had applied himſelf to Gunnery and Engineering. There is, laſtly, the ſecond Son of a Nobleman to whom I have the Honour to be known; he is Captain of a Man of War, and would give any Conſideration to a young Man of Senſe and Letters, who is a Poficient, in Navigation and in the Uſe of the Charts and Compaſs, and who, at the ſame Time, might ſerve as a Friend and Companion.

Sir, ſaid I, quite aſtoniſhed, I have been a Student, as Goliah was a Man of War, from my Childhood. If all my Tutors did not flatter me, my Genius was extenſive; and my Progreſs, in Learning, may prove that my Application has been indefatigable. I know all Things, from the Beginning of Time, that the ancient or modern World, as I was told, accounted Matters of valuable Erudition or Recognizance; and, yet, I have not ſo much as heard of the Uſe or Eſtimation of any of theſe Sciences required, as you ſay, by Perſons in high Truſt and Commiſſion.

Mr. Goodville, hereupon, looked concerned and ſhook his Head. My dear Clement, ſays he, I do not doubt your Talents or Learning; but, I, now, begin to doubt whether they have been directed or applied to any uſeful Purpoſe. My Couſin Goodville informs me that the Biſhop of St. [232] [...] [233] [...] [234] Aſaph is in Diſtreſs for a young Gentleman, a Man of Morals and a Linguiſt, who has ſome Knowledge in the Canon and Civil Law, as his Vicar General is, lately, dead. He tells me, further, that a Gentleman, a Friend of his, who is in great Circumſtances, and who is now about purchaſing the Place of Surveyor General, wants a Youth who has got ſome little ſmattering in Architecture, and has an elegant Hand at the Drawing of Plans and Sections. I am alſo known to one of the Commiſſioners of Exciſe, and, if you are barely initiated in Gauging, or Surveying, I think I could get you into ſome Way of Bread.

Alas, Sir, I replied, in a deſponding Tone, I am equally a Stranger to all theſe Matters.

Perhaps, ſaid Mr. Goodville, I could get you into holy Orders, if you are that way inclined. Are you well read in Theology?

Yes, yes, Sir, I briſkly anſwered, I am perfectly acquainted with the Gods and Manners of Worſhip, through all Nations, ſince the Deluge.

But, are you, replied my Friend, equally verſed in the Chriſtian Diſpenſation? Have you ſtudied our learned Commentators [235]on the Creeds; are you read in Polemic Divinity? and, are you a Maſter of the Senſe and emblematical Reference that the Old Teſtament bears to the New?

Sir, ſaid I, I have often dipped, with Pleaſure, into the Bible, as there are many Paſſages, in it, extremely affecting; and others full of fine Imagery and the true Sublime.

My poor dear Child, (mournfully anſwered Mr. Goodville,) by all I can find, you know no one Thing, of Uſe to yourſelf, or any other Perſon living, either with reſpect to this World or the World to come. Could you make a Pin, or a Waiſtcoat Button, or form a Pill Box, or weave a Cabbage Net, or ſhape a Cobler's Laſt, or hew a Block for a Barber, or do any of thoſe Things by which Millions, daily, maintain themſelves, in ſupplying the Wants and Occaſions, or Faſhions and Vanities of others; you might not be under the Neceſſity of periſhing.

The Ways of Life, for which your Studies have beſt prepared you, are Phyſic and the Law. But, then, they require great Expence, and an intenſe Application of many Years to come, before you can propoſe to enter on a Livelihood, by either of thoſe Profeſſions. And, after all, your [236]Succeſs would be very precarious, if you were not ſupported, by many Friends and a ſtrong Intereſt, at leaſt on your ſetting out.

I have, already, told you, Clement, that I am not rich; and, if I were; it is not he who gives you Money, but he who puts you into a way of getting it, that does you a Friendſhip.

I am adviſed to go to Montpellier for the Eſtabliſhment of my Health, after a tedious Fit of Sickneſs that I had at Bath. I ſhall ſet out, in about a Month. But, before I go, my Child, I earneſtly wiſh, and adviſe you, to fix on ſome Craft, or Trade, or Manner of employing your Time, that will enable you to earn a certain Subſiſtance, and, at the ſame Time, make you a worthy Member of the Community. For, believe me, my Boy, that it is not ſpeculative Science; no, nor all the Money and Jewels upon Earth, that make any Part of the real Wealth of this World. It is Induſtry, alone, employed on Articles that are uſeful and beneficial to Society, that conſtitutes the true Riches of all Mankind.

As ſoon as you have made your Election, let me ſee you again. And, in all events, let me ſee you before I ſet out.

[237] Hereupon, I bowed and retired, the moſt mortified and dejected of all Beings. I was ſo low and diſpirited that I could ſcarce get to my Lodgings. I threw myſelf on the Bed. The Gildings of the Vapours of Grandeur and Ambition, that like the Sky of a Summer's Evening had delighted my Proſpects, now wholly diſappeared, and a Night of ſucceeding Darkneſs fell heavy on my Soul.

One third of my principal Fund was almoſt ſunk; and my Imagination conſidered the Remainder, as already vaniſhed, without the Poſſibility of Supply or Reſource. I, now, ſecretly curſed the Vanity of my Father: He muſt breed me a Genman, thought I, with a Pox, as though I had been born to no Manner of End. Had I been the Son of a Cobler, of a Porter, an Oſtler, of the loweſt Wretch who wins his Bread by the Sweat of his Brow; I ſhould not yet have been reduced to the worſt Species of Beggary, that of begging with ſound Limbs and a reaſonable Soul, the leaſt pitied, though moſt pitiable Object of the Creation; for, ſurely, that is the Caſe of a poor Scholar and a poor Gentleman.

For ſome following Days, I went about, prying and enquiring into the various and [238]numberleſs Occupations that maintained ſo many Thouſands of active Hands and buſy Faces, throughout that wonderful City.

One Evening, as I returned late, and fatigued, through Cheapſide, I obſerved a Man very importunate with a Woman who walked before me. Sometimes ſhe would hurry on, and, again, make a full Stop, and earneſtly beſeech him to go about his Buſineſs; but, in ſpight of her Entreaties, he ſtill ſtuck cloſe to her, till, coming to the End of a blind Alley, he, ſuddenly, ſeized her by the Arm, and pulled her in after him.

She ſhrieked out for Help, with repeated Vociferation; when, recollecting all my Force, and drawing my Sword; Villain, I cried out, quit the Woman, inſtantly, or you are a dead Man. He perceived the Glittering of the Weapon and retired a few Paces; but, taking out a Pocket Piſtol, he diſcharged it full at me, and ran off with Precipitation.

The Ball entered my Clothes and Fleſh and lodg'd on the Rotula of my left Arm. I felt a ſhort Pang, but, not attending to it, I took the Woman under the Arm, and, returning with her to the Street, I told her we had no Time to loſe, and deſired [239]to know where ſhe lived. She anſwered, at the Sign of the Fan and Ruffle, in Fleet Street, where ſhe kept a Milliner's Shop. We had not far to go; we made the beſt of our Speed, and were let in by a Servant Maid who ſhew'd us to a back Parlour.

Jenny, ſaid Mrs. Graves, (that was her Name) bring a Glaſs and a Bottle of the Cordial-Wine, you look a little pale, Sir, I hope you are not hurt. Not much, I think, Madam, but I feel a ſmall Pain in my left Shoulder. Sir, here is my beſt Service to you, with my beſt Bleſſings and Prayers for you to the laſt Hour of my Life. You muſt drink it off, Sir, we both ſtood in Need of it; this was a frightful Affair. Jenny, where's Arabella? within a few Doors, Madam, at the Miſs Hodginſes. Come, Sir, ſaid Mrs. Graves, I muſt look at your Shoulder, then, opening the Top of my Waiſtcoat, ſhe, inſtantly ſcreamed out. God preſerve my Deliverer! I fear he is wounded dangerouſly. Jenny, fly to Mr. Weldon's, bring him with you, immediately, do not come without him. Deareſt, worthieſt of Men, let me preſs another Glaſs upon you. It is neceſſary in ſuch a Waſte of Blood and Spirits. Madam, I replied, the Wound can't be of Conſequence, but, I was greatly [240]fatigued, at the Time that I had the Happineſs to reſcue you from that Ruffian.

The Surgeon ſoon came, and, looking at my Wound, ſaid ſomething apart, to Mrs. Graves, who, thereupon, order'd Jenny to get a Fire and to make, and warm the Bed in the beſt Chamber.

Sir, ſaid I to Mr. Weldon, don't alarm the Gentlewoman. I am not of a fearful Temper and hope to bear my Fortune like a Man, Sir, ſaid he, your Wound has been made by a rifled Ball, and it may coſt you much Pain to extract it. You muſt not think of ſtirring from hence, for the preſent. By the Time your Bed is ready, I will be back with the Dreſſings.

During the Surgeon's Abſence, Mrs. Graves was all in Tears; while I ſat ſuſpended between my natural Fears of an approaching Diſſolution, and my Hopes of being ſuddenly and laſtingly provided for. The Cruelty of my Father, the Diſappointment and overthrow of all my elevated Expectations, and my utter Incapacity of being of the ſmalleſt Uſe to myſelf or Mankind, had given me a kind of Loathing to Life. I had not, indeed, attended to my Duty as a Chriſtian! but, I was, then, Innocent of any actual or intentional [241]Evil, and as my Conſcience did not condemn me, I looked to Mercy with a kind of humble Reſignation.

Mr. Weldon came with the Dreſſings, his eldeſt Apprentice, and a Man Servant. I was, then conducted to my Chamber and helped to Bed, where I was put to great Anguiſh in the Extraction of the Ball; as the Perioſtium had been lacerated, and that the Lead, being flattened, extended much beyond the Wound it had made.

Having paſſed a very painful and reſtleſs Night, I remember'd nothing further till at the Expiration of one and twenty Days, I ſeemed to awaken out of a long and uneaſy Dream.

I turned my Head and beheld as I imagined, all arrayed in ſhining White, and at my Bedſide, an Inhabitant of ſome ſuperior Region; for never till then had I ſeen, nor even conceived an Idea of any Form ſo lovely.

Tell me, ſaid I, fair Creature, on what World am I thrown? But inſtead of replying, it flew out of my Apartment and ſoon after, returned, accompanied by Mrs. Graves, whoſe Hands and Eyes were elevated, as in ſome extraordinary Emotion.

[242] Mrs. Graves, ſaid I, how do You do? I hope You are well. I now beign to conjecture whereabouts I am. But, neither did ſhe anſwer; but, falling on her Knees by my Bed, and taking hold of my Hand, I thank, I thank thee, O my God, ſhe cried, and, burſting into Tears, ſhe wept and ſobbed like an Infant. Ah, Mrs. Graves, ſaid I, I fear that you have had a very troubleſome Gueſt of me. But then, ſays ſhe, we remember that Trouble no more, now that you are, once again, born into the World.

During the few ſucceeding Days, in which I kept my Bed, Mrs. Graves and her fair Niece Arabella, whom I had taken for a Viſion, conſtantly breakfaſted and ſpent their Evening in my Apartment.

I gave them a ſhort Narrative of my foregoing Hiſtory; and underſtood, on their Part, that they were the Siſter and Daughter of the late reverend Mr. Graves of Putney, who had little more to bequeath than his Books and Furniture, amounting to about five hundred Pounds, which they held, in joint Stock, and had, hitherto, rather encreaſed than diminiſhed.

As I ſcarce remembered my Mother, and had now, as it were no Father, Relation, [243]nor Friend upon Earth, I felt a Vacuity in my Soul, ſomewhat like that of an empty Stomach, deſirous of ſeizing on the firſt Food that ſhould preſent itſelf to my Cravings. Delightful Senſibilities! Sweet Hungerings of Nature after its Kind! This good Woman and her Niece became all the World to me. The one had conceived, for me, all the Paſſion of a Parent; the other, that of the fondeſt and tendereſt of Siſters. On the other Hand, I had, for Mrs. Graves, all the Feelings of a Child who conceives himſelf a Part of the Exiſtence of her who bore him; and my Eyes and Actions could not forbear to diſcover, to Arabella, that my Heart was that of the moſt affectionate of Brothers, though too delicate to indulge itſelf in thoſe familiar Endearments which the Nearneſs of Kindred might venture to claim.

When I was up and about the Houſe, I requeſted Mrs. Graves to make out her Bill for my Board, and for Phyſician, Surgeon, Drugs, &c. during my long Illneſs. Hereupon, ſhe looked eagergly and tenderly at me. Mr. Clement, ſays ſhe, I think you are too generous, deſignedly, to reproach us with what we owe you. But, for what is it, my Child, that you deſire us to charge you? Is it for reſcuing me from Death, or a Shame worſe than Death, probably, from both? or, is it for [244]delivering this my Darling from the bitter Grief and Diſtreſs that my Loſs muſt have brought upon her? Or, do you, rather, deſire to pay us for the fearful Pains and Sickneſs which you ſuffered on our Account, and for having, nearly, forfeited your Life in our Defence? No, Mr. Clement, you muſt not think of paying us the very Debts that we owe you; more indeed, Mr. Clement, than all our little Fortune, than the Product of the Induſtry of our Lives can ever repay.

Here, I was ſilenced, for the preſent, but, in no Degree convinced. And I felt, in a ſort, the Diſguſt of an injured Perſon, uneaſy and ſtudious, till ſome Revenge might be had.

In two Days after, while Mrs. Graves was at Market, and Arabella gone, with a Bruſſels Head and Ruffles, to a young Lady of Diſtinction; I ſtepped into the Shop, where Jenny waited the Commands of thoſe that ſhould call. I had ſcarce entered, when a Sheriff's Officer, appear'd at the Door, and, bolting in laid an Execution on the Shop, for eighty five Pounds odd Shillings, at the Suit of Mr. Hardgrave the Cambric and Lace-Merchant.

I was, at firſt, ſurpriſed and grieved, but Pleaſure, quickly, ſucceeded to my [245]Concern on the Occaſion. I took out my Pocket-Book, immediately diſcharged the Debt, with Coſts, and gave a Crown to Jenny, on her ſolemn Aſſurance that ſhe would not betray a Syllable of what had happened to her Miſtreſs or Arabella.

Soon after, this good Gentlewoman and her Niece returned, Dinner was ordered up, and I ſat down to Table with a Heart and Countenance more eaſy and chearful than ordinary.

Before the Cloth was removed, Jenny came and delivered a Note to her Miſtreſs. She read it over and over with apparent Surpriſe and Attention, aſked if the Meſſenger was waiting, and ſtepped to the Door. Again, ſhe returned, ſat down without ſpeaking a Word, and, the Muſcles of her Countenance being ſtrongly affected, ſhe could no longer retain her Paſſion, and her Tears burſt forth.

What is the Matter, cried Arabella, my Aunt, my dear dear Mother, my only Friend and Parent? and, breaking alſo into Tears, ſhe threw herſelf about her Neck?

Oh, there is no bearing of this, exclaimed Mrs. Graves. This young Man, my Arabella, diſtreſſes us beyond Expreſſion. [246]He has, this very Day, my Love, for the ſecond Time, ſnatched us from inſtant Ruin. I would tell you, if I could ſpeak; but read that Note. Which ſhe did, accordingly.

The Note was ſigned Freeſtone Hardgrave, and imported how ſorry he was, that his late Loſſes, by Sea, had put him under the Neceſſity of laying an Execution on her Houſe, without cuſtomary Notice. That he was glad, however, ſhe had ſo large a Sum ready as £90, the Receipt of which he acknowledged; and hoped that this Affair would make no Difference with reſpect to their future Dealings.

And why, beſt and deareſt of Women, ſaid I to Mrs. Graves, why would you grieve that I ſhould endeavour to relieve myſelf from a Part of that Burden, with which you Goodneſs and Obligations have ſo greatly oppreſſed me? Oh, that it were, that it were in my Power, I cried, and my Hands preſs'd each-other with an involuntary Ardour, but, it never will, it never can be poſſible, for me, to prove the Paſſion that my Soul has for you and—there I heſitated—to ſhew you, I ſay, the Love that I have for you, Mrs. Graves. You two make my World, and all that I am concern'd for or deſire therein.

[247] Since that is the Caſe, ſaid Mrs. Graves, with a Smile and a Tear that gliſtened together, if you will admit an equal Paſſion, from one ſo old as I am, it were pity we ſhould ever part. Send, my Child, this very Day, and diſcharge your former Lodgings. The Time that we ſpend together can't but be happy, All Cares are leſſened by the Society of thoſe we love; and our Satisfactions will be doubled by feeling for Each-other.

I did not, at that Time, know the whole Reaſon of the Delight with which I accepted this generous Invitation. I ſettled at Mrs. Graves's without any formal Agreement; and all my little Matters were, directly, brought home.

O, how happy were many ſucceeding Days! how, ſtill, more happy, when contraſted with the Miſery that enſued! We ſpent all the Time together, that Buſineſs and Attention to the Shop would permit; and we grudged every Moment that was ſpent aſunder. I related to them a thouſand entertaining Stories, and Paſſages, occaſionally recollected from the Poets and Hiſtorians of Antiquity. And a ſecret Emotion, and inward Ardour for pleaſing, gave me, fluently, to interſperſe ſentimental Obſervations and pertinent Digreſſions, [248]more delightful to my Auditory than all my quoted Authorities.

I was, now, daily gathering Health and Strength, to which the Complacence of my Mind greatly contributed; when, one Evening, Mrs. Graves returned, more dejected than ordinary. I inquired into the Cauſe, with a Solicitude and Countenance that, naturally, expreſſed the Intereſt I took in her Concerns. Why, my dear Child, ſays ſhe, perhaps I have been both impertinent and indiſcreet, but I meant all for the beſt. You muſt know, then, that I have been on a Viſit to your Father. To my Father, Madam! Even ſo. I would to Heaven, that he were worthy to be called Father to ſuch a Son. But, as I was ſaying.

Your Father, Mr. Clement, is in great Circumſtances; he keeps his Coach, has taken a fine new Houſe, and lives at a high Rate. I ſent in my Name, with Notice that I came to him on Buſineſs of Conſequence. I was, thereupon, ſhewn to a back Parlour, where he ſat, in Company with Mrs. Clement and a luſty ill looking young Gentleman; but, your Stepmother has a comely and good humoured Countenance; ſhe alſo appears to be far advanced in her Pregnancy. Mrs. Graves, ſaid your Father, take a Seat. What are [249]your Commands with me, Madam? I came, Sir, to let you know that your Son, Mr. Hammel Clement, the beſt of human Beings, has been on the Point of Death. Have you nothing to ſay to me, Madam, but what concerns my Son Hammel? I have not, I confeſs, Sir, but that is more than enough; it is very intereſting and affecting, and concerns you moſt nearly. Here, Mr. Clement, for I will never more call him by the ſacred Name of Father, here, I ſay, he ſtarted up, and, catching at a Book, he preſs'd it to his Lips, and cried, I ſwear by the Virtue of this and all other holy Books, that I will never liſten to any Perſon who would ſpeak a ſingle Word in Behalf of Hammel Clement, and ſo, Mrs. give me leave to ſhew you the way out again. So ſaying, he caught my Hand and drew me to the Door, while I turned, and cried to your Stepmother, O Madam, what ſort of a Heart is yours, that refuſes its Interceſſion on this Occaſion? but ſhe gave me an Eye and Sneer, of ſuch a miſchievous Meaning, as expreſſed the whole Fiend under the Guiſe of an Angel. When Mr. Clement had taken me to the outward Door, I juſt turned, and ſaid, I am ſorry, Sir, that a Man, of your grave and ſenſible Appearance, ſhould ſuffer yourſelf to be ſo duped, by People whoſe Intereſt it is to deceive you. But, ſwelling into Choler, he gave me a violent [250]Puſh from him, and clapped to the Door in my Face. So that, in ſhort, my dear Child, I fear I have done you Harm, where I meant you true Service.

It matters not, my Mother, ſaid I, (endeavouring to ſuppreſs a Tear of tender Reſentment) I will ſoon, I truſt, procure ſome kind of Independence on that Barbarian and his Fortune; and, while I have you and your Arabella, I ſhall want neither Father nor Friend.

Being, now, very nearly, re-eſtabliſhed in my Health, I ſet out again, in ſearch after ſome Employment that might ſuit me. As I was ſtrolling, on Tower Hill, I obſerved a Shop on my left Hand; it was that of Mr. Wellcot, a Bookſeller and Printer. I ſtepped in, and, after ſome introductory Diſcourſe, I aſked him if he had Occaſion, in the way of his Buſineſs, for a Friend of mine; a Gentleman, in Diſtreſs, but of Parts and Learning. Alas, Sir, cried Wellcot, ſuch Creatures, as you mention, are a Drug upon Earth; there is a Glut of them in all Markets. I would give any one a broad Piece per Man who ſhould deliver me from three or four of them, who lie heavy on my Hands. Not, Sir, that they are greedy, or idle, in the leaſt. I can get one of theſe Gentlemen, as you are pleaſed to call them, on whoſe [251]Education more Money has been expended than, at the common and legal Intereſt, would maintain a decent Family, to the End of the World, I can get one of them, I ſay, to labour, like a hackney Horſe, from Morning to Night, at leſs Wages than I could hire a raſcally Porter, or Shoe Boy, for three Hours. I employ them, occaſionally, in correcting the Preſs, or folding, or ſtitching the Sheets, or runing of Errands. But then, Sir, they have, all of them, Aſpects, of ſuch a bilcous Deſpondence, that a Man may, with leſs Melancholy, behold a Death's Head. And really, Sir, I could not ſtand it, if Cuſtom, as I may ſay, did not harden me by the perpetual Viſion of theſe Spectres.

While Wellcot, was ſpeaking, I made a ſecret Vow againſt having any kind of Commerce or Concern, with Bookſellers or Printers, for, at leaſt, a Century to come. But, fearing to be ſuſpected as a Party concerned, I affected an Air, as eaſy as poſſible, and, obſerving ſome Females, who were buſy in ſtitching Pamphlets, I aſked him if they contained any Thing new or entertaining.

Sir, ſaid Wellcot, this is an elaborate Performance of the moſt eminent of our Patriot Writers; I pay him, at the loweſt, five Guineas, weekly. And, could any [252]Man write, with double his Spirit and Genius, I could better afford to give that Author an Hundred. For, good Writings are like Diamonds, that are valued, according to their Carrats; do but double their Weight, and they, immediately become of twenty Times the Eſtimation.

This Pamphlet conſiſted of a Sheet, ſewed in blew Paper. I inſtantly, paid my two-pence, and ſat down to peruſe it, I found that it contained ſeveral very free Remonſtrances, againſt his Majeſty, and the Miniſters, for joining with France in the War againſt Holland, in oppoſition to the civil and religious Intereſts of England. Together, with a few collateral Digreſſions, in Aſſertion of Magna Charta, of the Freedom of Man, in general; and of Britons, in particular. I perceived that it was written with much more Judgment than Genius. And what, ſaid I to Wellcot, will you give to that Man who ſhall, confeſſedly, excel this your moſt eminent of Patriot Writers, upon his own Subject, and in his own Way? Give Sir? Cried the Bookſeller, many Thanks, and a proportionable Encreaſe of Profits. Enough, Sir, I anſwered, you ſhall ſoon hear from me again. I wiſh you a good Morrow.

On my Return, I called at Mr. Goodville's, but he had ſailed for France, about [253]a Fortnight before. I, then, went about to a Number of Pamphlet-Shops, and bought up all the political Papers that had any Reference to the Matter in Hand.

I ſat down to my Work, like a hungry Man to his Victuals; and I grudged my Heart thoſe ſhort Indulgencies, which it enjoy'd in the Society of the two Objects of its fondeſt Affections.

Having finiſhed my firſt Paper, in about a Fortnight, I entitled it the WEEKLY MONITOR, and took it directly to Wellcot's. Here, Sir, ſaid I, is my Friend's firſt Venture. But, has your Friend, demanded Wellcot, in a diſcouraging Accent, ſent the uſual Indemnity for the firſt Impreſſion of a young Author? That ſhall not be wanting, I anſwered, if you require it, Mr. Wellcot. Why, ſaid he, I do not take upon me to be a Judge in theſe Matters; and yet, Cuſtom has given me a ſhrewd ſort of a Gueſs. Come, Sir, I have a few Minutes to throw away, and they are, at your Service.

He, then, ſat down, and, having read about a Dozen Lines, Ay, ay! ſays he, they don't, always, do thus at Newmarket; your Friend, I find, has ſet out at the Top of his Speed. Going on, ſomething [254]further, he cried, well ſupported by —! and, then, proceeding to the third Page, this, ſays he, muſt have been ſtollen from one of the Ancients, becauſe there is no modern who could write like it. Well, Sir, you need not give yourſelf further Trouble, for the preſent. I will print this firſt Paper at my own Suit. Deſire your Friend to be careful about the Second. Call to me, in a Week, and, I think I ſhall be able to tell you ſomething that will pleaſe you.

How diligent is Expectation, how elevated is Hope! I returned with the Feathers of Mercury at my Heels. I ſet about my ſecond Paper, with double Genius and Application. My Ideas were more expanded, my Spirits more ſublimed. All the Perſuaſives of Cicero; all the Thunder of Demoſthenes; all that I had read, on the Topic of Liberty, in popular Governments, or Common-wealths, occurred to my Remembrance.

I finiſhed my ſecond Eſſay, within the Week. I went with it to Wellcot, and he preſented me, at Sight, with twenty Guineas. It is more, ſaid he, than hitherto comes to your Share; but, I love to encourage, and I truſt that, in the Run, I ſhall not be a Loſer. I ſell this Pamphlet for two Pence. Nearly two Fourths [255]thereof go to Printing, Paper, &c. another Fourth I reſerve, as an Equivalent for my Application and Knowledge in this Way; and, the Remainder is a Redundance which, on extraordinary Tides, ought to flow to the Writer. The Demand, for this Paper, has been very uncommon; and, by what I can judge, the Sale may, in Time, amount to twelve Thouſand. You need not, Sir, be aſhamed to acknowledge yourſelf the Author. Preſerve but a Moiety of the Spirit, of this Elijah, with which you have ſet out, and my own Intereſts will inſtruct me to ſerve you effectually.

I now returned, as in a triumphal Chariot. I never, before, received the Prize, as I may ſay, of perſonal Proweſs. The Fortune of my Father, the Fortune of all Men living, who were merely born to Fortune, diminiſhed beneath me. O, how ſweet, ſaid I, to myſelf, how delicious are the Fruits of a Man's own Plantation! Then, like the ſagacious and independent Spider, his Labours will be crowned, with perſonal Honour and Succeſs, while he ſpins his Subſiſtance from his proper Bowels. It is then, and then only, that a Man may be ſaid to be the true Proprietor of What he poſſeſſes; and the Value is endeared, and the Enjoyment doubled thereby.

[256] I haſtened to impart my Tranſports to the two loved Objects of all my Cares and Satisfactions. Jenny told me that her Miſtreſs was not at Home, but, that Miſs Arabella was above in her Cloſet. I ran up. I tapped at the Door, but no one anſwered. Again I tapped, and added the ſoft Voice of Affection, requeſting to be admitted. At length ſhe opened, but looked pale, and with ſwollen and downcaſt Eyes. I perceived ſhe had been in Tears, and a ſudden Froſt fell upon all my Delights. What is the Matter Miſs, I cried, my Siſter, my ſweet Friend, my deareſt Arabella; and I gently took her Hand between both of mine. I wiſh you had not come, at this Time, Mr. Clement, ſaid ſhe, coolly. But, you muſt permit me to keep my little Griefs to myſelf. Yes, I replied, if it is your Pleaſure to torture, to kill me outright, refuſe me my Portion in your Intereſts and Concerns. O, Mr. Clement, ſays ſhe, your Soul is too generous, I dare not tell you. I feel what you would ſuffer, ſhould you know that you are concerned in the Cauſe of my Tears. But, we muſt part, Sir, indeed, we muſt; we muſt part, Mr. Clement, and that ſuddenly.

Here, her Voice failed, and, throwing herſelf into a Chair, ſhe burſt out afreſh, [257]into a Guſh of Affliction. While I ſtood aſtoniſhed; and, dropping beſide her on one Knee, awaited, with unſpeakable Anguiſh, the Suſpenſion of her Grief.

At length perceiving my Situation, riſe Sir, ſhe cried, I entreat you to riſe and take a Chair beſide me; and I will tell you, as faſt as I can, of this diſtreſsful Buſineſs.

You muſt know that I was, a while ago, to the Miſs Hodginſes. They are very friendly, and good young Women, and told me, in Confidence, tho' with much Concern, of a Whiſper, in the Neighbourhood, that my Aunt had entertained a young Gentleman, in the Houſe, who was admitted to ſuch familiar and convenient Intimacies as could not, at all Times, be without their Conſequence, eſpecially, between Perſons of our Age and Sex.

Now, Mr. Clement, I am no way aſhamed to confeſs that I have nothing in Heaven but my Innocence, nor on Earth but my Character; and, I think you wiſh me better, than to deſire that I ſhould forfeit the one, or the other. Deſire it! O Heavens! I ſuddenly exclaimed, I will for ever guard them both, to the laſt Drop of my Blood, and laſt Breath of my Life. Alas, [258]cried Arabella, you are the Man, of all others, whom the World would not admit for my Champion, in this Caſe; they are abſolute Judges, they ought to be obeyed, our Parting will be painful, but it muſt be complyed with.

But, my Siſter, my Arabella, moſt lovely and moſt beloved of all the Human Species; tell me, ſays I, my Angel, is there no other Way, no Expedient to ſatisfy a miſdeeming World, ſave a Remedy that is worſe than Death itſelf? No, ſaid ſhe, with an Air ſomewhat reſolute and exalted, there is no other Expedient, at leaſt, no other, to which I can conſent. O, Miſs Graves, anſwered I, with a haſty Dejection, if that is the Caſe, you ſhall be obeyed; I am, indeed, very unhappy, but I will not be importunate, Adieu, deareſt of Creatures, adieu, for ever! I ſpoke, and ſuddenly withdrew, and gave her, as I imagined, the laſt farewel Look.

Hold, Sir, ſhe cried, pray ſtay a Moment. I ſhould be wretched, beyond Expreſſion, if you went away in the greateſt of all Errors. But, is it poſſible, you ſhould think that I could mean any Slight to you, Mr. Clement? No, Sir, no, of all Men living, indeed, it was not poſſible. I ſpoke, through an humble Senſe of my own Demerits; my Determination was [259]juſt, I do not repent me of it. I—I—perhaps, Sir, I have not underſtood you—Indeed I ſcarce know what I ſay or mean, myſelf—Of this however be aſſured, that I neither do, nor ever did, nor ever can, mean any Offence to Mr. Clement.

While ſhe ſpoke I had kneeled before her. I took her Hand and preſs'd it to my Lips and Boſom. My Arabella, ſaid I, I confeſs that this was no premeditated Motion of mine. Nay, this very Morning, the World ſhould not have prevailed with me to have accepted this Hand, for which I now kneel. I was, then, poor and wretched, without Reſource. And, I could not think of bringing Diſtreſs upon her, independent of whoſe Happineſs I could have no Enjoyment. I was ſenſible that I loved you, with infinite Tenderneſs, with unſpeakable Ardour; but, my Paſſion did not dare to admit of Deſire. I could have ſuffered all Things to have heaped Bleſſings upon you; but I would not permit to my Soul the diſtant, though dear Wiſh, of being happy with you—Ah, what Poſture is this! exclaimed Arabella. Nay, you ſhall not ſtir, I cried, nor will I riſe till you have heard me a few Words. Since Morning, I ſay, I have got Room to hope that my Arabella would not be ſo unhappy, as I feared, in being united to [260]me. I will not urge her however. I leave her free, I leave her Miſtreſs of her own Will and Actions. But, here I vow to Heaven, that whether ſhe live or die, conſent, or not conſent, I will never marry another. I am, from this Moment, her Wedded for Eternity, the faithful and fond Huſband of her Image and Remembrance.

So ſaying, I roſe and ſeated myſelf beſide her. She looked aſtoniſhed, and affected beyond the Power of Utterance. But, covering her Face with a Handkerchief, ſhe gently leaned toward me, and ſhed a plenteous Shower of Tears upon my Boſom.

When Mrs. Graves returned, I told her of my extraordinary Succeſs at the Bookſellers, I had, before, made her the Treaſurer of my little Poſſeſſions, and I poured my twenty Pieces into her Lap.

Arabella, as I conjectured, did not delay to impart, to her Aunt, the late Adventure; for I obſerved that the Eyes of that good Woman, dwelt upon me with a freſh Acceſſion of Fondneſs and Delight.

Having finiſhed my third Paper, I took it to Wellcot, who preſented me with twenty Guineas, and, further, acknowledged himſelf my Debtor. Returning [261]homeward, I caſt up, in a pleaſing kind of mental Arithmetic, how much my weekly twenty Guineas would amout to at the Years End, and found it much beyond my Occaſions, even in the State of Matrimony.

I now looked upon myſelf, as in the certain Receit of a plentiful Income; and this encouraged me to preſs for the Completion of my Happineſs. Decency, alone, could give Difficulty or Delay, in an Affair that was, equally, the Wiſh of all Parties. We were privately married, in the Preſence of the Miſs Hodginſes and two or three other Neighbours; and I was put into Poſſeſſion of the bluſhingeſt, fearfulleſt, and fondeſt of all Brides.

Job, very juſtly, ſays, ſhall we receive Good at the Hands of God and not receive Evil? And yet, I imagine, that the Recollection, of paſt Happineſs, rather heightens than alleviates the Senſe of preſent Diſtreſs. My Soul, in thoſe Days, enjoyed a Tide of Delight, to the Fullneſs of its Wiſhes, and to the Stretch of its Capacity. I thought that, till then, no Perſon had ever loved, as I loved. But the Love, of my Arabella, was a kind of Paſſion, that wanted a new Name whereby to expreſs it. It was an Abſence, a ſort of Death to all other Objects. It was a Pleaſure too [262]paining, a diſtreſsful Attention, the Avarice of a Miſer who watches over his Hoard, and joins to the Rapture, with which he beholds it, the terrifying Ideas of Robbery and Loſs.

I had now, within the Space of five Weeks, received about one hundred and twenty Guineas, on the Sale of my Monitor. When, going abroad, one Evening, I was ſtopped, within a few Doors of my Houſe, by a genteel looking Perſon who aſked if my Name was Clement, it is, Sir, I anſwered. Then Sir, ſays he, I arreſt you, in his Majeſty's Name, for Sedition and a Libel againſt the Government. Then, beckoning to three or four Serjeants, that attended, he had me directly ſeized and conveyed toward Newgate.

As I was not of a timorous Temper, nor conſcious of the ſmalleſt Tincture of the Crimes with which I was charged, I ſhould have made little more than a Jeſt of this Buſineſs; had I not trembled for the Apprehenſions of thoſe who I knew would tremble for me.

On the Way, this Officer informed me, that my Bookſeller had betrayed me, and had confeſſed, to the Miniſters, that I was the Author of a famous Pamphlet, entitled the WEEKLY MONITOR. Being [263]delivered to the Keeper, I put a few Pieces into his Hand, and was conducted to a decent Apartment, conſidering the Place.

I immediately ſent for Humphrey Cypher, Eſq Serjeant at Law, whom I had, once, occaſionally feed in behalf of Mrs. Graves; and I ſent, at the ſame Time, for a Set of the WEEKLY MONITOR. When Mr. Cypher came, I put five Pieces into his Hand, and, having told him my Caſe, I requeſted him to peruſe the Papers in queſtion, and to give me his Opinion thereon.

Having read them, with due Attention; Mr. Clement, ſays he, I perceive that you are a learned and ingenious young Gentleman; but I find that you are better acquainted with the Republics of Greece, than with the Nature and Conſtitution of our limited Monarchy. Hence, alone, hath proceeded ſome Lapſes, and Miſapplications, that your Adverſaries would lay hold of. Yet, there is nothing, groſsly, ſcurrilous or malicious, throughout; nor what may amount to the incurring of a Praemunire, by the moſt violent Conſtraint or Wreſting of the Senſe. If you are inclined, ſays he, to proceed in the Courſe of theſe Papers, I would adviſe you to put in Bail, and to ſtand the Action. But, [264]as I am perſuaded that the Court have commenced this Proſecution as a Matter, merely in terrorem, to deter you from a Work that gives them great Diſguſt, if you have any genteel Friend, who would ſolicit in your Favour, and promiſe a future Conduct, more amenable to Power, you would, undoubtedly be diſcharged, without further Coſt or Trouble.

I returned my warm Acknowledgments to the Serjeant for his friendly Counſel, and told him I would conſider of it, before I gave him further Trouble. When he was gone, I diſpatched a Letter to Mrs. Graves, wherein I gave her an Account of my preſent Situation, in a Manner, as little alarming as poſſible. I requeſted her to provide Bail for my Appearance at Bar; but inſiſted that, till this was done, neither ſhe nor Arabella ſhould come to my Priſon; and, that I had given expreſs Orders that they ſhould not be admitted.

Alas! had they complyed with my Directions, how happy might we have been, all together, at this Day. But, the Exceſs of their Goodneſs was the Cauſe of our common Ruin. Their Affection would not be ſatisfied with ſimple Bail; and they reſolved never to reſt, till they had procured my full Diſcharge.

[265] They went about to all their Cuſtomers of any Diſtinction. They ſolicited, petitioned, and bribed without Meaſure. They borrowed Money to the utmoſt Extent of their Credit; and pawned, or ſold all their Effects under prime Coſt. They gave a Purſe to one, to bring them acquainted with another, on whom they beſtowed a larger Sum, to introduce them to a third. Having, at length, made their Way to Lord Stivers, an Agent of the Miniſter, he thought he ſaw an Advantage in granting their Requeſt, and my Diſcharge was made out, without further Delay.

On the fifth Evening from my Impriſonment, the Door of my Chamber opened, and, in came my dear Aunt with my dearer Arabella. They flew upon me; they claſped me, on each Side, in their Arms; and my Wife, inſtantly, ſwooned away upon my Boſom. She ſoon revived, however, at the known Voice of Love, and, as every Door for my Enlargement had been previouſly opened, we went down, ſtepped into the Coach, and drove home, directly.

Here, I ſaw the firſt Subject and Cauſe of Alarm. The Shop was ſhut up. I was ſhocked and felt a ſudden Chilneſs [266]come upon me; but did not venture to inquire, except by my Eyes.

The Kettle being down, and all ſeated to Tea, I introduced the Affair, with an affected Unconcern; and, by Queſtion after Queſtion, artfully extracted, from my Companions, the whole Hiſtory and Adventures of the five preceding Days; whereby, I found that they had expended in my Behalf beyond the laſt Penny of their own Subſtance; and that nothing remained, ſave one hundred and fifty Pounds, to which the ſeveral Depoſits amounted, which I had made with Mrs. Graves.

I could now no longer contain myſelf. Cruel Women, inhuman Friends! I cried. The Bitterneſs of Enmity, the Rancour of Malice could never have brought an Evil, like this, upon me. Accurſed Wretch that I am, ordained to be the Inſtrument of Perdition to thoſe, whom I would feed with my Blood and foſter with my Vitals. Would to Heaven I had not been born! or, would I had been cut off by ſome quick and horrid Judgment ere this had happened!

Here Mrs. Graves drew her Chair cloſe to mine, and catching me about the Neck, and dropping upon me a few Tears, that [267]ſhe ſtruggled to ſuppreſs; don't grieve, my Child, ſhe cried, don't afflict yourſelf for nothing. All is as it ſhould be. There is no Harm done. Your Arabella and I can always earn genteel and independent Bread, without Shop or other Means than the Work of our Hands. We can never want, my Hammy. We have done nothing for you. Neither has any Thing happened wherewith you ought to reproach yourſelf. What we did was for ourſelves, for the Relief of the Anguiſh of our own Hearts; to bring you home to us, again, as ſoon as poſſible, my Son, ſince we found that we could live no longer without you.

Within a few Days, I perceived that my dear Aunt began to decline in her Health, perhaps, occaſioned by her late Fatigue and Anxiety of Spirits. I brought an able Phyſician to her, but, he could form no Judgment of the Nature of her Diſorder, till, ſome Time aſter, when her Complexion began to change, and the Doctor declared her to be in the Jaundice. He began to apply the cuſtomary Medicines, and, no Care nor Expence was ſpared for her Recovery. Arabella and I ſat up with her, alternately, ev'ry Night; and, all the Day, we read to her ſome Book of Amuſement, in order to diſſipate the Melancholy of her Diſeaſe. But, alas, [268]all our Cares and Remedies; our Attention and Solicitude, our Prayers and our Tears, proved, equally unſucceſsful, and, at the End of five Months, ſhe expired within our Arms.

Arabella then quitted her Hold, and, croſſing her Arms upon her Boſom, and looking, eagerly, on the Face, once ſo lovely, and always boloved; you are then at Peace, ſaid ſhe, my Mother. O Death, hadſt thou not enough of Terrors, in thy Aſpect, without adding to thy Agonies thoſe of tearing from us that which we prized above Life. O my Friend! my only Parent! my deareſt deareſt Mother! — She could no more, but, immediately, fainted away upon the Body.

I took her up in my Arms, and, carrying her into the next Room, I laid her on the Bed; I ordered Jenny and the two Nurſekeepers to take Care of her Recovery, and charged them not to permit her to ſee her Aunt, any more.

I, then, returned to the Chamber, wherein, the precious Ruins of the Half of my World was laid. I locked the Door within ſide. I approached the Body, and, hung over it, and gazed upon it, with inexpreſſible Emotion. I repeatedly clapped my Hands together. I ſtooped down, and [269]kiſſed, and rekiſſed her cold Lips, in an Agony of Affection. I gave a free Scope to my Tears, Sobs, and Lamentations. Ah, I cried, my Parent; my Patroneſs; ah, Mother to the Son of your unhappy Election! Have I loſt you, my only Prop? Are you, for ever, departed from me, my Support and Conſolation? I was abandoned by the World, by Friends, Father, and Relations; but you became the World and all Relations to me. I was a Stranger, and you took me in; I was ſick, and in Priſon, and you miniſtered unto me. But, you are gone, you are gone from me, afar off. And I, die a thouſand Deaths in the Anguiſh of ſurviving you. Here you lie, my Mother, the Victim of your Goodneſs to your unlucky Gueſt. Wretch that I am! doom'd to bring no Portion, ſave that of Calamity, to thoſe who regard me. Woe of Woes! Where, now, ſhall I eaſe my Soul of its inſupportable Burden? Of the Debt, with which it labours, to this kind Creature? She will no more return, to take aught at my Hands; and I muſt ſuffer the Oppreſſion, through Life, and through Eternity.

Having thus vented the Exceſſes of my Paſſion, my Spirits ſubſided into a kind of gloomy Calm, I returned to my Wife. — But, I ſee, Sir, you are too much [270]affected. I will not dwell on this melancholy Scene any longer.

When I had diſcharged Doctor's Fees, Apothecaries Bills, and Funeral Expences; I found that our Fortune did not amount to fifty Pounds. My Wife was, now, far advanced in her Pregnancy; her Labour was haſtened by her Grief and late Fatigues; and ſhe was delivered of that Boy whom your Charity, a ſecond Time, brought into this World.

As I was, now, all Things, to my Arobella; the only Conſolation ſhe had upon Earth, I never left her during her Illneſs. By the Time ſhe was up and about; what with the Charges of Child bearing, and a Quarter's Rent, &c. our Fund was, again, ſunk within the Sum of ten Pounds; and I was going, one Evening, to look out for ſome Employment when we heared a Rapping of Diſtinction at the Door.

Jenny came, in a hurry, and brought us word that Lord Stivers was in the Parlour, and deſired to ſpeak with me. I went down, greatly ſurpriſed, and ſomething alarmed at his Viſit. Mr. Clement, ſays he, with a familiar Air, I have long wiſhed to ſee you, but I did not think it ſeaſonable to diſturb you, during the Miſfortune of your Family and the Illneſs of [271]your Wife. Your WEEKLY MONITORS have Genius and Spirit, but they have done ſome Miſchief which we wiſh to have remedied. As how, pray, my Lord? Why, Mr. Clement, I never knew a Writing, in favour of Liberty, or againſt any Meaſures of Government, which the Populace did not wreſt, in favour of Licentiouſneſs, and to the caſting aſide of all Manner of Rule. Now, Mr. Clement, we want you to undertake our Cauſe, which is, by much, the more reaſonable and orderly Side of the Argument; in ſhort, we want you to refute your own Papers.

O, my Lord, I anſwered, I ſhould think it an Honour to ſerve your Lordſhip or the Miniſtry, on any other Occaſion. But, in a Matter that muſt bring public Infamy upon me; indeed, my Lord, you muſt excuſe me. I ſhould be pointed at, as an Apoſtate and Proſtitute, by all Men, and bring my Perſon and Writings into ſuch Diſgrace as would, for ever, diſable me from ſerving either myſelf, or your Lordſhip.

Well Sir, replied my Lord, I will not, then, inſiſt on a formal Refutation of your own Writings. I only aſk, if you are willing to engage in our Quarrel, as far as is conſiſtent with Honour and Truth? I [272]am, my Lord, I rejoined, as far as is conſiſtent with my own Credit and the Good of my Country.

The Good of your Country, Mr. Clement, ſays my Lord, I hope you do not think that Government is contrary to the Good of your Country. Pray, in what do you make this LIBERTY conſiſt, of which you are become ſo eminent a Patron?

There are two Sorts of LIBERTY, my Lord, I anſwered. The firſt conſtitutes the Duty and Happineſs of a Man, independent of Community. The ſecond conſtitutes the Privilege and Happineſs of a Man, merely, as he is a Member of any State or Commonwealth.

Independent of Community, a Man is ſo far free and no further, than he acts up to the Dictates of Reaſon and Duty, in deſpight of inward Appetite and outward Influence.

As a Member of Community, a Man is, ſo far, free, and no further than as every other Member, of that Community, is legally reſtrained from injuring his Perſon, or encroaching on his Property.

Inimitably well definded, cried his Lordſhip; I have read Volumes, in Folio, upon [273]the Subject; but, never knew what LIBERTY was before. Well, Mr. Clement, as this LIBERTY of yours, is in all Reſpects, ſo oppoſite to the Licentiouſneſs I was talking of; it cannot but make, mainly, in Favour of good Government. I therefore requeſt you to write a Treatiſe to the Purpoſe of your Definition; and to take us with you, as far as you can. We ſhall not be ungrateful, we are good Paymaſters, Sir. Why do you heſitate? Did you not tell me you were diſpoſed to ſerve us?

My Lord, I replied, I fear I ſhould fall greatly ſhort of your Expectations. I am not ſtudied in the Conſtitution of modern States; and, how ſhould I be able to juſtify any Government, with reſpect to Meaſures that, perhaps, are a Secret to all, except the Miniſters? I muſt further obſerve, to your Lordſhip, that my former Field would be greatly contracted, on this Occaſion. It is very eaſy and obvious to find Fault and to call in Queſtion; but, to vindicate Truth itſelf againſt popular Prejudice, hoc Opus hic Labor eſt.

Mr. Clement, ſays my Lord, I am proud that we have got a Gentleman of ſo much Honeſty and Ingenuity to befriend us. It ſhall be my Care to provide you with Materials, and, I am confident that ſo great [274]a Maſter of his Inſtrument, as you are, will make excellent Muſic on a few fundamental Notes. Here are twenty Guineas Earneſt, and ten Guineas ſhall be pay'd you, weekly, till we can fix you in ſome Station of due Honour and Advantage. I will take a Glaſs, or a Diſh of Tea with you, in a few Days, and wiſh you a good Evening.

On the third Morning after this Interview, my Lord returned with a large Bundle of Anti-Patria Pamphlets, in his Chariot, and ſome manuſcript Notes and Hints for my Inſtruction. He breakfaſted with us, and was eaſy, polite, and chearful.

I now entered on my new Province, but, not with uſual Ardour. As I had, formerly, laſhed the Inſolence, Encroachments, and Rapaciouſneſs of Power, leſs ambitious of Conqueſt, over Aliens and Enemies, than over the very People it was ordained to protect: I now, on the other Hand, rebuked, with like Acrimony, the riotous, factious, and ſeditious Propenſities, of a turbulent, licentious, and unſatisfied People; ever repugnant to Government, and reluctant to the Rein of the gentleſt Ruler. I proved, from many Authorities, and Inſtances, derived from Greece and Rome, that Power is never ſo dangerous to a Populace as when it is taken into their [275]own Hands. That the Governors and governed, by the Violence of Colliſion, are apt to fly to Extremes, on either Side. That Anarchy is the moſt direct, of all Roads, to Tyranny. And that a People, who have no Will to be governed, reduce themſelves to the Neceſſity, of being cruſh'd, inſulted, and governed, whether they will or no.

Now, Sir, though I, thus alternately, ſided with the People againſt Power, and with Power againſt the People; yet I ſtruck at nothing but Faults, on either Hand; and equally aſſerted, on both Sides of the Queſtion, the Cauſe of my Country, of Liberty, and Truth.

I took five Times the Pains with theſe latter Papers that I had with the Former, and yet, I confeſs I had not equal Pleaſure in the Delivery. I am, alſo, perſuaded, that theſe had more than double the Merit of the other; and, in Point of Sentiment, Moral, and general Inſtruction, were of twenty Times the Value to Mankind: But, how can that inſtruct which is not attended to? it was intimated to the People that theſe had been written at the Inſtance of their Governors; and they would not have liſtened to an Oracle, if uttered from that Quarter.

[276] Six Months had now elapſed in theſe Lucubrations. I had delivered, to my Wife two hundred and ſixty Guineas, the weekly Price of my Labours. We had lived with great Frugality. Arabella had, again, taken in as much Work as her Nurſing and Attention to the Child would admit. And we had ſome Pieces left of our former Remnant; when Lord Stivers called in upon me, with Pleaſure and good News, as it were, Prologue in his Aſpect.

Mr. Clement, ſays he, I want to ſpeak to you, apart. I had, Yeſterday, ſome Talk with the Miniſter about you, and he has promiſed me four hundred a Year Penſion for you, till ſomething better can be done; and this is to be wholly clear and over your weekly Wages of ten Guineas, while we keep you ſo hard at Work. But, tell me, Clement, ſays he, laying his Hand with an affectionate Familiarity upon my Shoulder, are you of a jealous Temper? The furtheſt from it, my Lord, of any Man breathing. O, I'm glad of that, but, if you were, I have nothing exceptionable to propoſe. To be ſhort; Half a Dozen of Noblemen, all my Friends, and People of ſtrict Probity and Virtue, have engaged to ſpend a Share of To-morrow, in a Party of Pleaſure upon the Thames; and, we have, each of us, laid a Bet of a hundred [277]Guineas, that, from the Number of his Relations, his Friends, or Acquaintance, he will bring the prettieſt Woman to this Field of Contention. I had fixed on Lady Fanny Standiſh, a lovely Creature, and a Relation of my own, but ſhe, unfortunately, happened to be pre-engaged to one of my Rivals. I am, therefore quite at a Loſs, and muſt, infallibly, loſe my Wager, if you do not favour me with the Company of Mrs. Clement. With her I can make no Queſtion of Conqueſt; and I give you my Honour to pour into her Lap, the whole five hundred Guineas, the juſt Prize of her Beauty.

Why, my Lord, I anſwered, this is, indeed, a very pleaſant Project, and has nothing in it exceptionable, that I can perceive, if no one was to know any Thing of the Matter. But, what will the World ſay to ſee your Lordſhip ſo pair'd? Shaw, damn the World, Clement, I am your World, Man. Your Lordſhip has a very good Right to damn an inferior World, I rejoined; but the World has an equal Right, and would, certainly, make uſe of it, in the Damnation of my Wife. What, ſaid he, warmly, you will not, then, confide her to my Friendſhip and Honour? I will not, my Lord, confide her Honour, unneceſſarily, to any Man from under that Guardianſhip and Protection [278]which I vowed to her, in Marriage. It is very well, Mr. Clement, you may hear from me To-morrow. And away he went.

He was as good as his Word. The very next Morning, I was arreſted at his Suit for two hundred and fourſcore Guineas, the Amount of all that I had received from him; and I was hurried to the Fleet Priſon, without being permitted to ſpeak to any one.

As my Lord knew that, on Iſſue, I muſt caſt him in his Action, and, further, come upon him for ſpecial Damage and falſe Dureſs; it inſtantly occurred that this was, merely, a Stratagem for the Seduction of my Arabella; and her defenceleſs State gave me inexpreſſible Torture. I, immediately wrote her an Account of my Situation and Apprehenſions which, unhappily for all Parties, were too well founded. But, Sir, I will give you a Detail of theſe extraordinary Events, in the Order of Time, in which they happen'd, as I, afterwards, learned them, from the Mouth of my Wife, and from the Teſtimony of others, on Trial in public Court.

Before my Wife could have the leaſt Intelligence of my Confinement, my Lord paid her a Viſit, and, entring with his accuſtomed [279]Freedom and good Humour, Mrs. Clement, ſays he, I am come to prevent your being alarmed, when you ſhould hear that I ſent your Huſband to the Fleet Priſon this Morning. But, to convince you that I intend him no manner of Harm; I have, here, brought you the Money for which he was arreſted; and it is at your own Choice to releaſe him, within this Hour, or on the Feaſt of Saint Simpleton, if you are not in a Hurry. So ſaying, he put a large Purſe into her Hand. And, pray my Lord, then demanded Arabella, on what Account was it that you had him arreſted? To puniſh him, anſwered my Lord, for being the moſt jealous-pated Coxcomb in Europe. Jealous, my Lord! pray of whom can he be jealous? Of you and I, Madam. Of us, my Lord? Sure we never gave him Cauſe. No, that I'll be ſworn, rejoined my Lord; but more is the Pity; the Jealouſy came firſt, and the Cauſe ought, now, in all Conſcience, to follow.

Before the laſt Words had eſcaped his Mouth, he ſprung forward, and, catching her in his Arms, he preſs'd and kiſſed her with the rudeſt Ardour. But, quickly diſengaging herſelf, and, puſhing him, violently, from her. I ſee you're a Villain, ſhe cried, and deſire that you'll inſtantly [280]quit my Houſe; and, ſo ſaying, ſhe threw the Purſe out at the Door. My Lord, however, ſtood his Ground, and, looking at her with aſtoniſhing Eaſe and Unconcern; Mrs. Clement, ſays he, the Deſtiny of your Huſband and yourſelf is in my Hands; and I muſt tell you it does not become you to treat your beſt Friend in ſo injurious a Manner. I have, here, brought you a Settlement of five hundred a Year, for Life. It is perfected to you without Condition, and, how far you will be grateful, lies, wholly, at your own Election. May Heaven forſake me, ſhe cried, when I accept the ſmalleſt Advantage from you or your Fortune. Well, well, Arabella, replied my Lord, I muſt and will have you, on your Terms, or my own; but, if you had, really a mind to conteſt this Buſineſs with me, what a little Fool you were, ſo ſimply, to caſt away the Sinews of War? I leave you, Child, for the preſent, to wiſer Reflections; then inſolently ſmiling in her Face, he retired.

As ſoon as he was gone, my Wife hurried to the Miſs Hodginſes, and prevailed upon one of them to keep her Company till ſhe ſhould be able to procure my Enlargement. She, then, went to a Perſon, who dealt in Houſhold Furniture, and requeſted him to come, the next Morning, and make a Purchaſe of ſome Goods that [281]ſhe had to diſpoſe of. And, laſtly, ſhe writ me a Letter with an Account of all theſe Matters, and a Promiſe to be with me the Day following.

I ſhould have appriſed you before this, that our faithful and affectionate Jenny had forſaken us. A ſmall Legacy had been left her, whereupon ſhe quitted Service and went to live with her Parents; and we were obliged to hire a ſtrange Maid in her Room.

The next Day, Arabella ſold as much of her Furniture, to the forementioned Dealer and ſome Neighbours, as amounted to upward of forty Guineas. She had put theſe, with her former Depoſit of two hundred and ſixty, into her Pocket; it was now Afternoon, and ſhe was joyfully preparing to come and give me Freedom; when our new Maid entered and told Miſs Hodgins that a Lady waited for her, at Home, on earneſt Buſineſs, but promiſed not to detain her above five Minutes. Alas! Miſs Hodgins was ſcarce gone, when Lord Stivers entered, and my Wife, giving a violent Shriek, dropped backward in a Chair.

Lord Stivers, thereupon, drew another Chair, and, with an impudent Appearance of Tenderneſs, ſeated himſelf beſide her. [282]My dear Arabella, ſaid he, don't be alarmed. By,—I am not come to do you the ſmalleſt Injury. I tell you, however, that you're wholly in my Power. Your Street Door is bolted. I have two able Footmen below in your Kitchen; and the Maid, who contrived to get your Friend out of the Way, is much more my Servant than yours, I aſſure you. I have loved you long, my Arabella, and the frequent Viſits, I pay'd, are to be placed to your Credit, and not to that of the ſtupid Polities, with which I amuſed your Huſband, and now, my Angel, if you will make any Conceſſion, but the ſlighteſt Return to the Exceſs of my Paſſion and Fondneſs for you; I, here, vow to you perpetual Faith and Conſtancy for Life, and, both my Fortune and Perſon ſhall be, wholly, devoted to you. But, don't attempt to impoſe; don't hope to deceive me.

No, no, my Lord, ſhe cried, I will not deceive you, by pretending to ſacrifice the leaſt Article of Duty to your Perſon or Fortune. I ſee that I'm in Danger; on the Brink of Perdition. I ſee that Hell is ſtrong, and ſubtle at Devices. Heav'n ſave me, any how! ſtrike, ſtike me dead, this Inſtant! You Thunders and Earthquakes, that once were my Terrors, be now my Deliverers!

[283] Why, my Arabella, ſays Lord Stivers, this is all very ſine. It is the ſweeteſt Rant I ever hear'd. And you are the ſweeteſt Girl, upon my Soul, that ever I ſaw. I perceive that you are really alarmed, my Love; but, what is it that frights you, you ſhall never receive any Treatment from me, ſave Proofs of the Fondneſs and Violence of my Affection. Recall your Spirits, Child; and prepare yourſelf, with Patience, for what muſt be. For I ſwear to you, Arabella, by—&c. &c. that no Power, in the Univerſe, ſhall ſnatch you, this Hour, from the Ardour of my Careſſes.

The wretched Object of the Luſt of this barbarous Man, then, dropped upon her Knees in a frantic Agony. O GOD! ſhe cried out, if you are in Heaven, if you hear and ſee theſe Things. If Virtue and Purity are not an Offence unto you. Send, ſend, and deliver me by ſome ſudden Salvation! O, my Lord, once our generous Patron and Protector, the Friend and Support of our declining Houſe! Would you now tumble into deep and irreparable Ruins, the Work of your own Hands? Alas, you know not what you do; you cannot gueſs at the Horrors you are about to perpetrate. If ever you had a touch of Pity. If ever—but, what ſhall I ſay. [284]If you do not, like Devils, delight in the Miſeries of Wretches, damn'd for Eternity; ſhield, ſhield me, my dear Lord; be you, yourſelf, my Saviour, from this my Hour of Terrors, from this Hell that is come upon me. I have, already, ſuffered the Pangs of Death, in the bare Apprehenſion. I will never live to bear in me, and about me, a deteſtable Being. Hope it not; dream not of it. By Heav'n, I will not a Moment, ſurvive my Pollution. O Mercy! Mercy! Mercy! And, ſo ſaying, her Voice was ſtopped, by an Agony of Sobs and Tears.

Charming Girl! enchanting Creature! exclaimed the deliberate Villain, every Action, every Word, intended to diſſuade, are freſh Fuel and Incitement to my Paſſion for you, my Arabella. But, I ſee that you will not conſent to my Happineſs; and that I muſt give you an Apology, for your Acceptance of any Favour or Fortune at my Hands.

So ſaying he aroſe. And up ſhe ſprung at the Inſtant, and running to the furtheſt Corner of the Room, recollected all her Spirits and Force for her Defence. She ſtruggled, and ſhrieked, and called out upon Heaven, and Earth, to ſave her. But, no Help appearing nigh, ſhe, ſuddenly, recollected a Pair of long and ſharp pointed [285]Sciſſars that ſhe had, in her Pocket, and, in the Moment that Lord Stivers threw her, prone upon the Floor, ſhe drew them forth, and, aiming at him, with all her Strength, ſhe almoſt buried the Weapon in his left Side; whereat he gave a loud Curſe, and over he tumbled gaſping, and groveling, beſide her.

Up ſhe got, with all Haſte, and, runing to the Cradle where her Infant lay crying, ſhe caught him in her Arms; and, opening the chamber Door, ſoftly, and ſhutting it after her, ſhe ſtepped down Stairs, as upon Feathers, and, ſtealing to the Street Door, ſhe opened it ſuddenly, ruſhed into the Street, and hurried on till ſhe came to a Stand of Coaches; where ſhe hired the firſt ſhe met, threw herſelf haſtily into it, and deſired the Man to drive, with Speed to the Fleet Priſon.

On her Arrival, ſhe diſcharged the Action and Fees of Arreſt, with all poſſible Diſpatch, and, then, hurried up to my Apartment. On the firſt Glimpſe, I ſprung to her, and caught her in my Arms with unſpeakable Tranſport; but, finding the Child with her, and obſerving that her Breath was quick and uneven, I withdrew a Step or two, and looked eagerly at her; and, perceiving that ſhe was pale, and had [286]a kind of Wildneſs in her Eyes and Motions; what is the Matter, my Love, I cried, what has happened to you? I have not been well, ſhe anſwered, with an affected unconcern before the Keeper. But, pray come down, my Dear, you are much wanted, and the Coach is in Waiting.

Nothing further paſſed, between us, till we got into the Coach, and that my Wife deſired the Man to drive to ſome Neighbouring Street, and to ſtop at the firſt Door where he ſaw a Bill for Lodgings. For Lodgings; again I demanded, for whom does my Arabella deſire to take Lodgings? For you and I Mr. Clement, for you and I, ſhe cried, wringing her Hands together; Lord Stivers lies, weltring in his Blood at our Houſe, deprived of Life within this Half Hour, by my unhappy Hand.

I was, ſuddenly, ſtruck dumb, with Surprize and Horror. All the Occaſions and Conſequences, of this direful Event, whirled through my Imagination in a fearful Succeſſion. What muſt, now, become of my Soul's ſole Enjoyment? what Indignities muſt have been offered! what Violation might ſhe not, or, rather, muſt ſhe not have ſuffered, before ſhe could be brought to perpetrate ſo terrible a Deed, I grew, inſtantly ſick, and, putting my Head through the Window, deſired the [287]Coachman to ſtop at the firſt Tavern. I ordered the Drawer to naſten, with a Pint of Spaniſh White Wine, to the Door, and I preſſed and compelled my Wife to ſwallow a Part. Our Spirits being, in ſome Degree, ſettled, thereby; we drove to a private Street, on the right Hand of Cheapſide, where I took a back Room and Cloſet, up two Pair of Stairs, at one Mrs. Jennett's, an old Maid and a Mantua-maker. I, immediately, ordered a Fire to be kindled, and the Tea-Things to be laid, and, giving the Servant a Crown, deſired her to bring the Value in proper Ingredients.

The Evening was, now, ſhut in; and, while the Maid was abroad, not a Syllable paſſed between my Wife and me. I dreaded to enquire of what I, ſtill, more dreaded to underſtand; and Arabella ſeemed to labour under ſome mighty Oppreſſion; when, retiring to the Cloſet, where our Bed ſtood, ſhe covered her Child up warm, and, kneeling down by his Side, broke forth into a violent Torrent of Tears, intermingled with Heavings and Half ſtrangled Sobs.

I ſat ſtill, without ſeeming to obſerve her Emotion. I was ſenſible that Nature wanted this kindly Relief. The Teas and Sugars were brought; the Kettle put on [288]the Fire; and the Maid, again, retired; when I, gently, called to my Arabella to come forth, with a Voice, of the trueſt Love, and ſofteſt Endearment, that ever yet breathed from a human Boſom.

Her Eyes were already wiped, her Countenance compoſed, and her Motions and Demeanour much more ſettled, than before. She ſat down with a riſing Sigh, which ſhe checked with a Half Smile. My Arabella, ſaid I, my only Joy! my unmeaſured Bleſſing! What is it that, thus, diſtracts my dearer Part of Exiſtence? Your Mind, your Spirit, my Angel, is ſtill pure and unpolluted; and Bodies are, merely as Bodies, incapable of Defilement, being doomed, from our Birth, to Diſſolution and Corruption.

Ah, my Hammy, ſhe exclaimed, you are quite beſide the Mark, I ſigh not, I weep not, I grieve not for myſelf. I fear not, nor regard the Conſequences, however fatal, of what has happened. Suppoſe a ſudden and ſhameful Death, I thank my God for it, Death will offer me up a Victim ſtill pure and unpolluted. But, O, the wretched Stivers, what is now become of him? ſent, ſo ſudden and unprovided, to his eternal Audit. Unhappy that I am! perhaps, an Inſtrument of Perdition to an immortal Being. Ah, rather, that I had [289]not been born! would I had periſh'd in his Stead! A Death, in the Cauſe of Virtue, had been my Advocate for Mercy.

How is this? my Arabella, I cried. Is Condemnation, then, to be brought upon the Good, becauſe they oppoſe themſelves to Evil? Would you have cenſured any one living, except yourſelf, for having given you this Deliverance, by the Death of the Raviſher? No, ſurely. In the daily and nightly Robberies, Maſſacres, and Aſſaſſinations, that the violent machinate againſt the Peaceful; is it the Fault of thoſe, who ſtand in the Defence of Righteouſneſs, that Villains often periſh in the Act of Tranſgreſſion? Tell me, my ſweet Mourner; in the Sacking of a City, when the luſtful and bloody Soldiery are looſed to their whole Delight in Burnings, Rapes, Rapines, Slaughters, Howlings, and Violations; is it the Perpetrators of all theſe Horrors that you compaſſionate, when they happen to be cruſhed in the Ruins they have wrought? Meritorious, my Arabella, moſt meritorious were that Hand, who ſhould cut a whole Hoſt of ſuch Infernals from the Earth; remaining Innocence and Virtue would be his Debtors for ever. Commiſeration to the Flagitious is Cruelty to the Juſt; and he who ſpares them becomes the Accomplice of all their future Crimes.

[290] During Tea, my Wife gave me an ample Narrative of all that happened, at our Houſe, while I was in Confinement. As ſhe ſpoke, I was, firſt, Speechleſs, with fearful and panting Expectation, I was, then, kindled into Fury and a vehement Thirſt of Vengeance. And, laſtly, I was elevated into an aweful Rapture. I looked at my Wife, with Eyes, ſwimming with Love and Veneration. I roſe from my Seat. I threw myſelf on my Knees before her. Adorable Creature, I cried, divine Arabella! ſupreme Excellence of Women! thus let me worſhip, through the pure [...] of all Mediums, that GODHEAD who inſpires, and delights in ſuch Perfections!

Our Fortune was, now, reduced to very little more than fifteen Guineas. We had no Clothes but what we wore; and we did not dare to go or ſend, to our Houſe, for others; neither to make ourſelves known to any Acquaintance. We went by the Name of Stapleton; and on the following Night, I ventured abroad, and bought, for myſelf a few ſecond-hand Shirts, with a common Gown and ſome Changes of Linen for my Wife.

On the fifth Day, at Breakfaſt, while Arabella was caſting her Eye over a Newspaper, [291]that ſhe had borrowed from Mrs. Jennett, ſhe turned ſuddenly pale. What, ſhe cried, before I could queſtion her, accuſed for Robbery, as well as Murder? that is hard, indeed. But I truſt that my Lot ſhall not exceed my Reſignation. And, ſo ſaying, ſhe handed me over the Paper, with a Smile in which Heaven appeared to open.

The Advertiſement ran thus — WHEREAS Arabella Clement, alias Graves, did, on the 15th Day of September Inſtant, moſt barbarouſly ſtab and murder the Rt. Hon. James **** late Lord Stivers, at a Houſe of ill Report, where ſhe formerly had kept a Milliner's Shop, in Fleet-Street: And, whereas ſhe did, further, rob the ſaid Rt. Hon. &c. of a large Purſe of Money, his Gold Repeater, Snuff-Box, Diamond-Ring, &c. and did, laſtly, flee for the ſame, as may be proved, and is evident, from the Examination and Teſtimony of three concurring Witneſſes. Now his Majeſty, in his gracious Abhorrence of ſuch Crimes, doth, hereby, promiſe a Reward, of three hundred Guineas, to any Perſon who ſhall ſtop, diſcover, or arreſt the ſaid Arabella, ſo as that ſhe may be brought to condign and adequate Puniſhment, if any ſuch may be found for ſuch unequall'd Offences.

[292] O, ſaid my Wife, I perceive that my Enemies will ſwear home, indeed. Their Plunder of Lord Stivers can, no Way, be aſſured, ſave by my Condemnation. But, be it as it may, that Providence, who overules the Wickedneſs of this World, may yet give Submiſſion a Clue to Eſcape its Perplexities. And, my Innocence, I truſt, will be an Equivalent to all that the World can inflict, and much more than an Equivalent to all that it can beſtow.

I now had every Thing to fear for my Arabella, as well from the intereſted Villany of the Witneſſes, as from the Power of the Miniſtry, and the Reſentment of the Relations of ſo great a Man; and I looked upon her Death to be as certain as her Caption. Had I been the Firſt, in Remainder, to the greateſt Eſtate in England, I would have exchanged my whole Intereſt, for as much ready Caſh as would have ſerved to convey us to ſome Region of Safety. But this was not practicable, with the very ſmall Remainder of the Wreck of our Fortune; and, we had taken our Lodging certain at fifty Shillings per Quarter.

We appeared, as little as poſſible, even to the Lodgers of the Houſe; and I intimated, to my Landlady, that it was the [293]Fate of many a Gentleman to be obliged to abſcond, till his Affairs could be compounded, with hard hearted Creditors.

During the Space of nine Months, our principal Diet was weak Tea and Bread, and, if we ventured, at odd Times, on a ſmall Joint of Meat, it ſerved us cold, haſhed and minced, from one Week to the other.

As my Wife did not dare to take in Work, nor I to ſtir abroad to look for Employment, our chief Entertainment was the reading ſome old Folio Books, of Hiſtory and Divinity, which I borrowed from Mrs. Jennett, and which had belonged to her Father.

How ſmall muſt be the Cravings of ſimple Nature, when, a Family, like ours, accuſtomed to Affluence, could ſubſiſt, in London, without murmuring, for upward of nine Months, on leſs than eight Guineas. But, our Fund was, now, exhauſted to a few Shillings; and my Sword, Watch, and Buckles were, alſo, gone, in Diſcharge of our three Quarters Rent to the Landlady. Ruin ſtared us in the Face. I beheld, as it were, a Gulph, unfathomable and impaſſable, opening beneath our Feet, and Heaven and Earth joining to puſh us down the Precipice.

[294] We, yet, lived, a Month longer, on coarſe Bread and cold Water, with a little Milk which we got, now and then, for the Child; but, I concealed, from my Wife, that we had not a ſingle Six-pence now left upon Earth.

I looked up to Heaven, but without Love or Confidence. Dreadful Power, I cried, who thus breakeſt to Powder the poor Veſſels of thy Creation! Thou art ſaid to be a bounteous and benevolent Caterer, to the Spawn of the Ocean, and to the Worms of the Earth. Thou clotheſt the Birds of the Air, and the Beaſts of the Foreſt; they hunger, and find a Banquet at Hand. Thou ſheddeſt the Dew of thy Comforts, even on the Unrighteous, thou openeſt thy Hand, and all Things, living are ſaid to be filled with Plenteouſneſs. Are we, alone, excepted from the Immenſity of thy Works? ſhall the Piety of my Wife, ſhall the Innocence of my Infant, thus famiſh, unregarded and unpitied, before thee?

Ah! it is I who am the accurſed Thing. Who bring Plagues upon all with whom I am connected. Even the Labours of my Life, the Iſſues of my honeſt Induſtry, have been changed, by thy Ordinances into nothing but Damage. To the Impriſonment [295]of my Perſon; to the Ruin of thoſe who had the Misfortune to befriend me; and to the Death, Danger, and Deſolation of all whom I held dear. I ſtrive, in vain, with thy Omnipotence, it is too mighty for me, and cruſhes me below the Centre. Pour out then the Veſſels of thy Wrath upon my Head, but, on my Head alone, O juſt Creator! and take theſe Little-Ones to thy Mercy, for they cannot have participated of the Guilt thou art pleaſed to impute to me.

The Night was, now, advanced, but that, which fell upon my Soul, was a Night which would admit no Ray of Comfort, nor looked ever to behold another Morning. I wiſhed for Diſſolution to myſelf, to the Univerſe. I wiſhed to ſee the two Proprietors, of my Soul's late Affections, now lying pale and breathleſs before my Eyes. I would not have endured my Hell another Moment. I would have given myſelf inſtant Death; but I dreaded to leave my deſolate Widow, and helpleſs Orphan, without a Friend, as I then conceived, either in Heaven or Earth.

My Wife had lain down, with her Infant, on the Bed. A ſudden Reflection ſtarted. My Death, thought I, may yet be uſeful to thoſe, for whom alone I could wiſh to live. I roſe, frantically determined. [296]My Brain was on Fire. I took down an old Piſtol, which hung in a Corner, I put it into my Breaſt; down Stairs I went, and iſſued to the Street.

I was bent on ſomething deſperate, but knew not what. I had not gone far, when I ſaw a large Tavern open beſide me. I paſſed through the Entry, and, running up Stairs, boldly enter'd the Dining Room, where a numerous Company of Gentlemen ſat round their Bottle. I clapt to the Door; and taking out the Piſtol, Gentlemen, I cried, I ſtarve, I die for Want; reſolve, inſtantly, to relieve, or to periſh along with me.

They all fixed their Eyes upon me; but, the meager Frenzy, as I ſuppoſe, which they ſaw in my Countenance, held them ſilent. The Perſon, who was neareſt, directly took out his Purſe and preſented it to me. I, again, returned it to him, and, putting up my Piſtol; no no, Sir, I cried, I will not take your Gold, I am no Robber. But, give me ſome Silver, among ye, to keep, awhile, from the Grave, three Creatures who famiſh amidſt a plentiful World.

They all, as by one Conſent, put their Hands to their Pockets, and, inſtantly made a Heap of upward of three Pounds. [297]I devoured it with my Eyes. I beheld it as a Mint of Money; and panting, and grappling at it, like a Vulture, I ſtuffed it into a ſide Pocket; and being too full of Acknowledgment to thank my Benefactors, by Word or Token; I burſt forth into Tears, and, turning from them, I got, once more, into the Street, without any Interruption.

I made, directly, home, and, ſtepping ſoftly up Stairs, I, firſt reſtored the Piſtol to its old Station. I, then, went to the Cloſet, where my Wife lay, ſtill, aſleep. I gently awaked her, by the Fondneſs of my Careſſes. My Arabella, I cried, I have ventured out, for the firſt Time; and Heaven has ſent us ſome ſmall Relief by a Friend that I happened to meet. Here my Love, I ſaid, putting a Crown into her Hand, call the Maid, and ſend out for ſome comfortable Suſtenance; our Faſt has been long, indeed.

Within a few Days, our Strength and our Spirits began to recruit, though we, ſtill, continued to live much within the Bounds of Temperance. My Soul, again, ſettled into a kind of ſullen Calm, and looked forth, though at a Diſtance, to ſome future Dawning.

[298] One Day as my Landlady's Bible lay ſhut, before me, a ſudden Thought occurred. I breathed up, to God, a ſhort and ſilent Ejaculation, beſeeching him to inſtruct me in what I ought to do, by the Paſſage, upon which my Thumb ſhould happen to reſt, on opening the Book. I, inſtantly, made the Venture, and found the following Words. I will ariſe and go to my Father and will ſay unto him, Father, I have ſinned againſt thee, and before Heaven, and am no more worthy to be called thy Son.

Alas, I was far from imagining at that Time, that it was no other than my Father in Heaven, who called me, and who would, thereby, have directed and conducted me to himſelf.

I puzzled and racked my Memory, to diſcover in what I had given juſt Offence to my earthly Progenitor, but, reſolved, in all Events, to obſerve the Admonition.

In the Duſk of the Evening, I tied my Handkerchief, Sailor-like, about my Neck, I pulled my Wig forward, and, ſlouching my Hat, I ſlid out of Doors; and, ſtooping Half double, I limped, with a counterfeited Gate, toward my Father's. I was, duely, appriz'd that, if I knocked at the Door, or directly enquired for him, I [299]ſhould not be admitted. I, therefore, walked to and again, now near, now aloof, for near an Hour, before his Door, in patient Expectation of his Appearance.

I had repeated this Exerciſe, for five ſucceſſive Evenings, when the Door, at length, opened, and a Servant, in Livery, came up and accoſted me. Is your Name Clement, Sir? Suppoſe it were, ſays I. Suppoſing ſo, replied he, I am ordered to tell you, that my Maſter is well informed of all your wicked Deſigns, and that, if ever you appear, again, in Sight of his Windows, he will ſend you to Newgate, without Bail or Mainprize, and proſecute you to the laſt of the Laws of the Land.

We parted, without another Word, and I croſſed over the Way to a Chandler's Shop. The good Woman of the Houſe alſo happened to ſell ſome ſmall Ale, in her back Apartments. I called for a Mugg, and requeſted her Company for a few Minutes. After ſome introductory Chat, I addreſſed her, in a Manner, that I judged moſt engaging for one in her Sphere. She, very freely, told me the Hiſtory of my Father and his preſent Family, and further, that it was his Cuſtom, on every Monday and Friday, to repair to the Tradeſman's Club, at the Golden Anchor in Temple-Lane, about eight of the Clock, [300]at Night, and not to return till about eleven.

I went Home, ſomething ſatisfied with this Intelligence, as I now knew where to find my unnatural Parent, though his laſt barbarous and inſulting Meſſage had rendered me hopeleſs, and quite averſe to any kind of Application to him.

We had now lived, three Months longer, on the laſt Booty, or Charity, I know not which to call it. We were, again, reduced to the laſt Shilling, and, what was ſtill worſe, our Landlady became importunate for her Quarter's Rent. My Wife had lately requeſted her, to look out for ſome Sempſtry-Work, among the Neighbours. This ſhe promiſed to do, but, purpoſely, declined, as ſhe and her Family got the Benefit of her Labour, gratis.

I began, again, to return to my former evil Thoughts. I reſolved to make War upon the whole Race of Man, rather than my Wife and Infant ſhould periſh in my Sight. But, I reflected that it was more equitable to begin with a Father, on whom Nature had given me a Right of Dependence; than to prey upon Strangers, on whom, Neceſſity, alone, could give me any Claim.

[301] It was Monday Night. The Clock ſtruck ten. I took down the old Piſtol, and marched toward the Anchor. I patroled near the Place of Expectation, above an Hour. The Night was exceſſive dark, and no Lamps in that Part; at length I liſtened to the Sound of diſtant Steps, and, ſoon after hear'd a Voice cry Murder, Murder, Robbery! Watch, Watch!

I ran to the Cry, and perceived one Man on the Ground, and another ſtooping, in Act, to rifle his Pockets. I, inſtantly, drew my Piſtol, and, ſtriking at the Robber's Head with my full Force, I laid him ſenſeleſs on the Pavement. I, then, gently raiſed the other, who was bleeding and ſtunned by the Stroke he had received. I ſupported him, Step by Step, toward a diſtant Lamp, where, at length, we arrived and found a Tavern open. I enter'd and ordered a Room, with Fire and Lights; and deſired that a Surgeon ſhould be, immediately, called. The Gentleman, whoſe Face was, nearly, covered with Blood and Dirt, began now to recover his Strength and Senſes. I got him to ſwallow a ſmall Dram of Spirits; and he ſtepped, with me, up Stairs, ſcarcely leaning on my Shoulder.

[302] While we ſat at the Fire, and a Napkin and warm Water were getting ready; the Stranger grew paſſionate in his Acknowledgments for the Life, which he ſaid he owed me, and which Service he promiſed to recompenſe, to the Stretch of his Power and Fortunes. But, when he had waſhed and wiped away the Blood and Dirt from his Face; Heaven! what was my Emotion, at the Sight of an Aſpect, once, ſo loved, and ſo revered! all my Injuries and Reſentments vaniſhed, inſtantly, from my Memory. I fell at his Knees, with a great Cry. Is it you, then, my Father! my once dear, my ever dear and lamented Father! is it the Face of a Father that I, at laſt, behold? I burſt into Tears. I wept aloud. I, interruptedly demanded, will you not know me? will you not own me? will not Nature ſpeak in you? will you not acknowledge your Son, your once beloved Hammel, ſo long the Comfort of your Age, and the Pride of your Expectations?

While I ſpoke, my Father looked wild and eager upon me. He, at length, recollected me through all my Leanneſs and poor Apparel; and, heſitatingly, replied; I, I, I believe indeed you are my Child Hammel; and, ſtrait, fainted away.

END of the FIRST VOLUME.
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TextGrid Repository (2016). TEI. 5621 The fool of quality or the history of Henry Earl of Moreland In four volumes By Mr Brooke pt 1. University of Oxford Text Archive. University of Oxford, License: Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/]. https://hdl.handle.net/11378/0000-0005-E018-3