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THE DISCOVERY: OR, The SQUIRE turn'd FERRET.
An Excellent New BALLAD.
To the TUNE of High Boys! up go we; Chevy Chaſe; Or what you pleaſe.
Heu me! per Urbem (nam pudet tanti mali)
Fabula quanta fui!
HOR.
WESTMINSTER: Printed by A. CAMPBELL, near New Palace-Yard; for T. WARNER, at the Black-Boy in Pater-noſter-Row, and Sold by the Bookſellers. 1727. [Price 6d.]
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Cunicularii or The Wiſe men of Godliman in Conſultation
They held their Talents moſt adrait
For any Myſtical Exploit
- A The Danceing Maſter or Praeternatural Anatomiſt.
- B An Occult Philoſopher ſearching into the Depth of things.
- C The Sooterkin Doctor aſtoniſh'd.
- D The Guilford Rabbet Man Midwife.
- E The Rabbet getter.
- F The Lady in the ftran.
- G The Nurſe or Rabbet Dreſſer.
THE DISCOVERY: OR, The SQUIRE turn'd FERRET.
An Excellent New BALLAD.
[]To the TUNE of High Boys! up go we; Chevy Chaſe; Or what you pleaſe.
I.
MOST true it is, I dare to ſay,
E'er ſince the Days of Eve,
The weakeſt Woman ſometimes may
The wiſeſt Man deceive.
[4]II.
For D [...]nt circumſpect, ſedate,
A Machiavel by Trade,
Arriv'd Expreſs, with News of Weight,
And thus, at Court, he ſaid.
III.
At Godliman, hard by the Bull,
A Woman, long thought barren,
Bears Rabbits,—Gad! ſo plentiful,
You'd take her for a Warren.
IV.
Theſe Eyes, quoth He, beheld them clear:
What, do ye doubt my View?
Behold this Narrative that's here;
Why, Zounds! and Blood! 'tis true.
V.
Some ſaid that D [...]gl [...]s ſent ſhould be,
Some talk'd of W [...]lk [...]r's Merit,
But moſt held, in this Midwifery,
No Doctor like a FERRET.
VI.
But M [...]l [...]n [...]x, who heard this told,
(Right wary He and wiſe)
Cry'd ſagely, 'Tis not ſafe, I hold,
To truſt to D [...]nt's Eyes.
[5]VII.
A Vow to God He then did make
He would himſelf go down,
St. A [...]d [...]re too, the Scale to take
Of that Phoenomenon.
VIII.
He order'd then his Coach and Four;
(The Coach was quickly got 'em)
Reſolv'd this Secret to explore,
And ſearch it to the Bottom.
IX.
At Godliman they now arrive,
For Haſte they made exceeding;
As Courtiers ſhould, whene'er they ſtrive
To be inform'd of Breeding.
X.
The good Wife to the Surgeon ſent,
And ſaid to him, Good Neighbour,
'Tis pity that two Suqires ſo Gent—
ſhould come and loſe their Labour.
XI.
The Surgeon with a Rabbit came,
But firſt in Pieces cut it;
Then ſlyly thruſt it up that ſame,
As far as Man could put it.
[6]XII.
(Ye Guildford Inn-keepers take heed
You dreſs not ſuch a Rabbit,
Ye Poult'rers eke, deſtroy the Breed,
'Tis ſo unſav'ry a-Bit.)
XIII.
But hold! ſays Molly, firſt let's try,
Now that her Legs are ope,
If ought within we may deſcry
By Help of Teleſcope.
XIV.
The Inſtrument himſelf did make,
He rais'd and level'd right,
But all about was ſo opake,
It could not aid his Sight.
XV.
On Tiptoe then the Squire he ſtood,
(But firſt He gave Her Money)
Then reach'd as high as e'er He cou'd,
And cry'd, I feel a CONY.
XVI.
Is it alive? St. A [...]d [...]re cry'd;
It is; I feel it ſtir.
Is it full grown? the Squire reply'd;
It is; ſee here's the FUR.
[7]XVII.
And now two Legs St. A [...]d [...]re got,
And then came two Legs more;
Now fell the Head to Molly's Lot,
And ſo the Work was o'er.
XVIII.
The Woman, thus being brought to Bed,
Said, to reward your Pains,
St. A [...]nd [...]re ſhall diſſect the Head,
And thou ſhalt have the Brains.
XIX.
He lap'd it in a Linnen Rag,
Then thank'd Her for Her Kindneſs;
And cram'd it in the Velvet Bag
That ſerves his R [...]l H [...]
XX.
That Bag—which Jenny, wanton Slut,
Firſt brought to foul Diſgrace;
Stealing the Papers thence ſhe put
Veal-Cutlets in their Place.
XXI.
O! happy would it be, I ween,
Could they theſe Rabbits ſmother;
Molly had ne'er a Midwife been,
Nor ſhe a ſhameful Mother.
[8]XXII.
Why has the Proverb falſly ſaid
Better two Heads than one;
Could Molly hide this Rabbit's Head,
He ſtill might ſhew his own.
FINIS.
- Citation Suggestion for this Object
- TextGrid Repository (2016). TEI. 3669 The discovery or the squire turn d ferret An excellent new ballad To the tune of High boys up go we Chevy Chase or what you please. University of Oxford Text Archive. University of Oxford, License: Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/]. https://hdl.handle.net/11378/0000-0005-D29C-E